SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Geek,

I heard the BS of not sharing my emotions, feelings, etc. as an excuse for my wife's affair. Funny thing is, I had always been reserved and guarded. Yes, life events can cause these behaviors but I was that way when she married me. It sounds like you were that way also when she married you regarding a previous girlfriend. So NOW she decides it's an issue? And I'm willing to bet if you sit down and really think about your marriage,and think about ALL the acts of love and kindness you did for her, and the sacrifices you made for her, you will realize her "justification" for her affair is pure BS. I have always been a believer in actions louder than words. I did things to SHOW her I loved her instead of throwing out a 4 letter word. Oh, her AP "loved" her by telling her she could come over so he could fuck her (his actual texts) while I was the one providing for the family, fixing things, taking care of the kids, to make her life easier (before I knew about the affair). Please, don't accept any blame for her affair. I'm sure she did things that bothered you and you didn't cheat. I wish I had found this site earlier. I accepted the blame. Not quite 4 years ago. I did the "pick me " dance. Now I realize it has nothing to do with me. I was better to her than her AP ever was. He just said the right words. I'm still married, but thinking about a future alone. I kept the marriage at a steep cost to myself. Now, after paying the price, I'm not sure I want it anymore.

Knitaknee

You are right. And sounds like a similar scenario.

As of now, it's over. I can't look back and disect things anymore. I got 2 step kids and my 4yo to look forward to good experiences with. I've been part of their lives from their birth in some way. And that will continue.

Got my IC. I got my brother. And I got me.

Amen Brother.

Geek,

There is a silver lining on every cloud. This one is that you can now move forward with your life, rather than stuck in the self-inflicted limbo you were in.

The next thing you need to do is to gird yourself for a potential future comeback from your WW. If her AP decides to drop her for whatever reason, guess who she would be running to?

Would suggest you just get yourself mentally and emotionally ready for this scenario.

In the meantime, focus on yourself, the kids, and having the best life you can have.

So this is your WW's second divorce? What happened in her first M?

So this is your WW's second divorce? What happened in her first M?

This.

Did you ever find out the particulars of her prior divorce? Ever talk to her ex-husband?

I just read through this thread, and I see that you are still accepting blame with her cheating.

I hope you realize that her rewriting of the relationship is a way for her to rationalize her shitty choices.

You may not have been Mr perfect, but instead of asking for what she needed she chose, yes CHOSE to cheat, and continue to cheat even after she saw what it did it to, and what you were willing to do to make it work.

I hope you can tap into some anger, so you can take some defensive action and get what you need as you exit this relationship. Do continue to see IC. You have some stuff to work through to heal yourself. Make you and your kiddo the number one and two priority. Self care is vital to healing.