No Plan Survives Contact with the Enemy
Personally, I think identifying somebody as plan A or plan B or plan C or otherwise, it’s really not a very useful way of looking at this.
People do stupid things. People do stupid things all the time. All of us do stupid things. I was working on some thing on my house, it was a great idea, but because I was working on it, I discovered something much fucking worse, which required several weekends of work to fix, and did not involve infidelity.
This was something much simpler than marriage, much simpler than relationships, much simpler than general life with other people.
Plan A turned into Plan B, turned into plan C, and ended up with the gas company having to come out and fix the gas leak in addition to all the other crap I had to fix. All because 30 years ago somebody thought something was a good idea, snd instead of spending less than five dollars on a piece of flashing, they used their good idea.
People who cheat on their spouse are usually unhappy, dissatisfied, with some aspect of their life, for reasons that they may not even be able to identify, if you were to ask them. This is not really isolated to just one person, it’s pretty much everybody, end it doesn’t have to be something external to them, it can be either internal feelings of satisfaction.
They cheat, because they have not developed the skills to deal with this in a non-cheating manner. They may cheat because they actually think this is the way to deal with these problems. This may be their philosophy. They may have simply developed the “skills” of cheating, as a way of dealing with these issues, simply because of the way they were raised, or the lessons they learned whether they were intentional or not intentional.
I don’t think any of us dealt this hand would question the simple opinion, if you will, that if our cheating spouses had found somebody else who was so fucking incredible, so “the entire package”, do it all, be it all, they would’ve left us, left us for the other person, or at least left us because they found that there was something much better out there.
The reality is, however much it sucks, that cheaters usually get exactly what they deserve. They get some loser, doesn’t matter how rich they are, accomplished they are, handsome they are, tall, short, skinny, etc., who’s willing to cheat, betray, sneak around, engage in a bunch of drama, like a teenager who doesn’t have a job, and too much time on their hands.
That’s your Plan A? 
I don’t know about the rest of you, but if that’s your idea of a good Plan A, I would question the decision making for a long time.
My wife cheated on me, I think in the back of her head, at least at some level, there was some idea that she would leave me, that the affair partner might be “the one” that she would leave me with, and that they would somehow make it all work out. She and he would work together, manage all the problems that would come up, etc.
If you step back from the situation, and look at the facts of the situation, the facts, not the emotions, that idea is so fucking insane, so ludicrous, you would understand that even if it was “Plan B” you’d be better off skipping down the alphabet a lot further.
I think most of us betrayed spouses, perhaps not all of us, but most of us, should be able to see that after a while, when our heads start to clear. See that the decision making is flawed, distorted, immature, hurtful, foolish, and self-destructive.
“Plan Shit” is what I would call it, FUBAR!
