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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 3:46 AM on Thursday, July 23rd, 2020
Im so sorry. Ugh. Big hug.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 7:31 AM on Friday, July 24th, 2020
(((((Hugs tts))))) be kind to yourself.
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 9:24 PM on Friday, July 24th, 2020
Hi TTS. I just saw your post and am so sorry to hear about this. I remember you too.
We are here when you are ready. (((TTS)))
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 10:03 PM on Friday, July 24th, 2020
Breakups suck--plain and simple.
However, I recommend the book "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken." It talks about all of the reasons a breakup was necessary.
Breakups help us grow and strengthen our sense of self.
But they still suck.
Cat
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
trying to smile (original poster member #9683) posted at 6:28 AM on Sunday, July 26th, 2020
Thank you all so much.
Yes this is my first relationship since my 30 year marriage ended. We have been together for more than 4 years. We went to counselling last week and agreed to give things a try, discussed the issues we had and planned to work on things. Since then there has been barely any communication, he has crawled into his cave. (we don't live together).
Hi Inchy, amazing to find you here too.
Cat, I'm just not ready to accept that it's over yet.
Thank you Chrys.
Thank you all so much for being here and reaching out. I'm trying really hard to practice patience and give him space but all I want to do is wrap my arms around him and reassure him. He thinks he'll never be good enough for me and there is nothing further from the truth. 
tts
[This message edited by trying to smile at 5:48 AM, July 26th (Sunday)]
Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 6:43 AM on Sunday, July 26th, 2020
Hey tts, i remember you. I'm sorry you're hurting right now. We're here.
(((tts)))
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
trying to smile (original poster member #9683) posted at 11:47 AM on Sunday, July 26th, 2020
Hi Nanners, thank you. 
tts
Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".
trying to smile (original poster member #9683) posted at 12:30 PM on Saturday, August 1st, 2020
and now it's clearer, it was all bullshit. He's been cheating. He sent me a copy of a message she sent me. Must have made him feel sick when he realised what he'd done.
Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".
trying to smile (original poster member #9683) posted at 1:23 PM on Saturday, August 1st, 2020
Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".
Anna123 ( member #70908) posted at 2:31 PM on Saturday, August 1st, 2020
I am SO sorry.
He sent me a copy of a message she sent me. Must have made him feel sick when he realised what he'd done.
What did he send? I don't understand.
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 6:55 PM on Saturday, August 1st, 2020
What an ASSWIPE to make it All About Him! Well sweetie you know what comes next. Self care, deep breathing, meds if you need some. Keep posting. HUGS.
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 9:25 PM on Saturday, August 1st, 2020
He sent me a copy of a message she sent me. Must have made him feel sick when he realised what he'd done.
"What did he send? I don't understand."
^^^This. Typo? She sent you a message? Why didn't you get it? And why did he then send it to you?
I'm so sorry. My Spidey senses went up when you said he "felt he would never be good enough for you.". What the hell does that mean anyway??? Blame shifting 101. Sounds to me like justification for cheating in his wayward head. The "TTS doesn't love me like she does" excuse.
You are not a fool. These things happen and it has nothing to do with you. You know
this. I'm of the mindset that if I experience one more betrayal, I plan to be single forever. A casual relationship here and there may be, for purely sexual purposes, but I will never again give away my heart.
Please take care of yourself. Jeeez, what an absolute asshole.
[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 3:29 PM, August 1st (Saturday)]
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
trying to smile (original poster member #9683) posted at 12:10 AM on Sunday, August 2nd, 2020
Sorry I wasn't clear.
We were messaging and he was copying a message to send to me about covid lockdown. Instead he copied and sent the last message from her apparently. It was obviously part of an ongoing conversation about how excited they both are about this wonderful new relationship and how fabulous the future looks. 
I wish I could unread it I really do.
tts
Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 12:36 AM on Sunday, August 2nd, 2020
Classic wayward fuckup. What a douchebag. 
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 1:03 AM on Sunday, August 2nd, 2020
Omg...how painful that must have been to read.
What is your plan? What has he said about it? Not that it matters...ugh. You are no plan B. (((TTS)))
[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 7:05 PM, August 1st (Saturday)]
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
trying to smile (original poster member #9683) posted at 1:59 AM on Sunday, August 2nd, 2020
He has gone to ground. Didn't answer my messages after he realised his stuff up.
I've arranged the next week off work, will need to contact him to arrange a time for me to go get my stuff and return his. I refuse to have him come to my home and I want to make sure he won't be home when I go to his.
I found out about xwh's A years ago by intercepting text messages. It's brutal reading intimate conversations between the person you love and someone else.
tts
[This message edited by trying to smile at 8:02 PM, August 1st (Saturday)]
Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".
thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 2:34 AM on Sunday, August 2nd, 2020
(((((TTS))))) I'm sorry he turned out to be just another of the kind we all know so well. I remember what you went through and I'm so sorry you are here again. We are here for you.
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
Anna123 ( member #70908) posted at 3:08 AM on Sunday, August 2nd, 2020
Damn. I feel awful for you. And here we have the ole better now than later thing but this just sucks. After this initial shock settles a bit, do something to spoil yourself. (I bought myself a couple birthday gifts that I actually wanted since I am single for example).
Take care.
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 3:24 AM on Sunday, August 2nd, 2020
It's brutal reading intimate conversations between the person you love and someone else.
Indeed. It is. More hugs coming your way, dear lady. You do not deserve this. Your plan to exchange your things is a good one. And what a coward he is, hiding. Pffffttt. Fucker.
You know this from before... The pain will lessen over time. But for now, it just bleeping sucks. There's no way around it.
[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 9:24 PM, August 1st (Saturday)]
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
trying to smile (original poster member #9683) posted at 4:54 AM on Sunday, August 2nd, 2020
Thank you all.
The roaring in my ears has calmed a little but this pain in my chest won't ease.
I remember last time thinking that each day would get better but it didn't. Not for a long time.
I don't know if I can endure this again.
tts
Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".
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