You asked "how does it get easier?"
In my case, it does not get easier, I just manage it better.
It's a cocktail of time passing, you getting involved in things that take up that time, and little emotional steps that let you forgive your spouse, and yourself, for whatever happened.
As a BS, I wanted to vomit every time someone said something good would come of this, you have a great life ahead of you, etc...all the things people mean well with. I was not ready to hear those things yet, and you may not be either.
I will try to give you this: these experiences give us the tools to be of service to someone else in need, in some way that we would not have been, had we not been through this. I know things today I don't want to know, never wanted to know, and wish I didn't know - but I do, and I have tried to help others with those things.
I hesitate to call that a good thing, as if being devastated by infidelity is worth helping someone else in need - but that was how it became more manageable, or if you want to think of it that way, easier.
Someone else said to change your username. My suggestion is to change it when you have forgiven yourself enough to change it, whenever that may be. That day will come, and is likely to arrive when you were there for someone else when it counted.
I hope this helps.
I am learning to abide. Tried to reconcile for 8 years. Separated 5 and finally divorced.BSDDay 2011
DD grown nowDD grown nowReconciliation was a mirage