SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

.. can you tell me what was the last straw that made you get one?

I am debating - I am actually scared but I don't want my kids doing supervised visitations in a center without me - as of now its in my home and I feel fine with him while he is here for that. Its when he is off on his own and drinking and texting and calling me.

And there hasn't been any specific threats recently - but I took the threat assessment quiz and he scored a 7 out of 10 which makes me fearful. He is just so unpredictable and irrational and I feel like everything he has ever done that escalated the situation I never thought he would do, so I am questioning why I think he won't come here and try to get in.

I did change all the locks and installed an alarm system and I have a panic button in my bedroom so I don't feel scared about him breaking in during the night.

I think I just feel scared of him and I have no idea what he will do and I just wish he would move across the country and I could see every morning that he was there and knew there was no way he could get to us that day and could exhale and not worry.

When I filed for divorce, my lawyer included a restraining order in the request. There wasn't one particular time that stands out as the straw that broke the camels back. It was almost a year of him terrorizing me, the kids and anyone that helped us. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Mine physically went after me. You might want to speak to your lawyer if you haven't already. My PFA only covers me, not the kids. In other words, his custody would not have changed as there was no proof he was a danger to the kids. I still filed and was given the PFA. He decided to just ignore everything legal that came his way and is now in jail.

The protection order didn't make me feel safer but it did stop all the texts from him. It also gave me more of a legal leg if anything were to happen. The only thing that did make me feel safer is when he moved out of state. Now he's back but in jail and no one knew he was coming back to the area.

It's tough, it really is. It's ok that there isn't one thing that pushes you to file for one. It's ok to finally say this isn't right and I don't have to put up with it.

My legal separation papers included restraining orders on both of us, it’s standard in my state.

Talk with your atty, it’s possible someone else could do the supervised visitations. My guess is that he would not show up very often in a center- which is almost like him moving away!

I called thE police 7 times on my xh. I never argued with him. If he came here drunk, or yelling, or intimidating, I got the police out here. Also called them when he refused to give me back my son on a Sun evening, they met me around the corner and went with me.

My only mistake was I should have said, “I want a report written”. Finally, once I filed, my atty called his atty and told his to stop his client -and he did.