SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Thanks a lot really your words mean the world to me, I feel validated.

She told me that she found affection from this new guy, affection and romanticism that was lacking from me during the R. Hell I was clinical depressed during must of our R time, what did she expected. You can see that she doesn't know what is love. She couldn't support me during our most difficult time together.

I actually feel bad for her new boyfriend, she's just using him. She didn't gave herself the time to be single and learn and heal.

Because she publicly announced her new surprise relationship I had to put an announcement on facebook to let my friends and family before they found out from her. I had a lot of support comments, it was good, although I never imagined to post something like that.

They have been a very rough days for me, I'm gonna took some days off work just to try to sleep and eat.

A friend of mine gave me the advice to contact a lawyer to set action against her, according to him she needs to take care of my health expenses. Mental and physical.

Thank you all.

[This message edited by RichT at 3:57 PM, November 14th (Saturday)]

You picked a bad one Rich. Don't beat yourself up. I did too.

Get yourself into counseling for PTSD and work on your picker so that you will choose a good woman next time.

Sorry guys just venting here.

XWW called me today because last night I contacted a member of her family that I have much appreciation for, just to say goodbye, in the conversation I exposer her a bit no details only to let them know that the separation and divorce wasn't my fault.

She was furious. And she started to telling me that my so called Recovery was the worst year ever, that I was a POS during that time that I make her feel like a whore, she was disgusting of me during all this year.

I broke in tears and I told her that I have PTSD that sometimes I didn't knew what to do on R. She didn't care. Shes psychologist I believe I haven't said that. She knows how to get under my skin.

She then told me that maybe she never really loved me that's why she cheated on me.

The tone, the words that she used... I felt abused.

She almost confesses that she knows she is using her new boyfriend. She don't care. She knows. She's a vampire, she needs someone to cheat.

I don't know if she's just angry or maybe I lived with a psychopath all these time.

I'm utterly upset right now. She makes me feel like I am a monster. But I don't know I don't trust myself anymore.

Maybe I am an abuser? Maybe I always was and on R things went more real? Fuck I need professional help.

I want this to end

[This message edited by RichT at 8:23 AM, November 11th (Wednesday)]

You exposed her A? That's not abuse.

Getting angry at you for telling the truth is abuse. You are the abused, not the abuser.

I recommend doing more exposure because you probably fear doing it, and conquering a fear can help you find and expand your power.

Not abuse. Tell her to go take a long walk off a short pier next time. She is a psychopath.

If YOU were the monster, you would not be here with us asking if you are a monster. You are not. Evil doesn't know it is evil.

You are getting abused because you are allowing it. Shut off all direct communication. Block her calls, e-mails, FB, and every inlet she can use to get to you.

[This message edited by Westway at 12:30 PM, November 11th (Wednesday)]

She makes me feel like I have no dignity. Maybe I was abusive during R. I been reading about warning signs of abuse during a relationship and I think I can check many boxes. But only during R.

I think is a topic for another thread.

It's impossible for me not to check out the FB profile of her new boyfriend, until a couple of months ago we were together and now is this guy. I been delusional maybe I developed a kind of Stockholm Syndrome.

[This message edited by RichT at 12:38 PM, November 11th (Wednesday)]

she said I make her feel like a whore

If the shoe fits...

Rich, are you in IC? Have you seen your doctor about getting some meds to help you cope with this shitstorm?

I strongly suggest you go completely NC with your STBXWW - NC = no new hurts. She knows how to get under your skin, but she can only do that if you are in contact with her.

Ignore her calls and block her. Stay off of her social media.

You will get through this but I think NC will help speed up the healing process for you.

Sending strength,

Lala

Rich what your WW is doing is called gaslighting (making you think you are the crazy and abusive one who is delusional) and blame-shifting (where everything bad she does can be traced back to something you did). These are typical cheater traits that 99% of all cheaters do to some extent, except that your WW has found that doing this to you works, because you have never stood up to her and told her you weren't taking that abuse. So she has upped her game and is doing this freely to you, because you let her.

Thanks westway, I hear about gaslighting all the time I didn't realize that I was being victim of that. She really made me believe that I had no dignity during our final breakup and divorce.

sue WW and the OM for giving you an incurable STD and all

of the life long implications of having this STD.

No new contact = No new pains

Discontinue any and all phone, text, email contact and your recovery can be an even one, albeit slow but at least no setbacks caused by direct contact.

Thanks! I really want to sue, but I don't wanna fight with that angry beast.

I have more info but I don't wanna publicly post it. If someone have some ideas about the legal case can you please send me DM?