Topic is Sleeping.
catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 10:56 AM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022
Hi there! It’s been a while since I posted here, but SI was a life (and marriage) saver for me back in the day. I remember being SO desperate for the "why", for some meaning, some relief from the pain. The wise people here helped me so very much.
We have made it 10 years! It’s been a long road but we are in a much better place and I have a marriage that satisfies me, I feel adored and like I have a true partner. None of that was true even long before his A. The issues that he was finally forced to deal with are not resolved, per se, but are out in the open, and the years of therapy, books, talks, etc have helped us grow individually and as a couple.
For those of you early in the process I have to say that, for me, it was a few years before thoughts of the A were not my constant companion. Five years before an entire day went by without those thoughts. Now, most days it doesn’t enter my mind and it’s been a while since the thoughts caused me pain. Even early on there were happy times (HB helped!) but also times I would be sitting at a traffic light and would burst into tears.
Even though I can now see that I made a poor choice of a husband (all the red flags were there, but hey, I was 21!) I am glad that I chose to reconcile and can see myself growing old/er with this man as my partner.
I wish you all the best on your own journeys.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:12 PM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022
Great to hear from you, especially with suck good news. Thanks for sharing.
BTW, I spent several days last week in a house with two 10 month old kittens - they were fantastic together, better than any media event I've ever seen, I think, and - get this - they often got their staff, even their temporary staff, to provide lots of affection. (signed) another cat lover.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 5:55 PM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022
Hi Sisoon! You were one of the wise people I was referring to!
And cats are the best!!
Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 10:10 PM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022
Thanks for the update and the positive story.
Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years
Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 11:44 AM on Sunday, September 25th, 2022
That’s a really nice update/story. Thank you for sharing.
Husband of 20 years had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Two teenaged kids. Reconciling.
catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 7:11 PM on Sunday, September 25th, 2022
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 11:01 PM on Tuesday, September 27th, 2022
Oh my gosh...ANOTHER positive update...so COOL !!! CONGRATULATIONS on your 10 years of an authentic M...and thank you for sharing !!
YOUR post could really be a huge HELP in the "Positive Reconciliation Stories" thread that is pinned at the TOP of this Forum . One of the THREE positive updates posted in this Forum has already put her post in that thread...and you could add yours too...it is really EASY!! All you have to do is copy your post and paste it into that thread .
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
Topic is Sleeping.