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Newest Member: Crushedafter46years

Reconciliation :
10 year antiversary

Topic is Sleeping.
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 catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 10:56 AM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022

Hi there! It’s been a while since I posted here, but SI was a life (and marriage) saver for me back in the day. I remember being SO desperate for the "why", for some meaning, some relief from the pain. The wise people here helped me so very much.

We have made it 10 years! It’s been a long road but we are in a much better place and I have a marriage that satisfies me, I feel adored and like I have a true partner. None of that was true even long before his A. The issues that he was finally forced to deal with are not resolved, per se, but are out in the open, and the years of therapy, books, talks, etc have helped us grow individually and as a couple.

For those of you early in the process I have to say that, for me, it was a few years before thoughts of the A were not my constant companion. Five years before an entire day went by without those thoughts. Now, most days it doesn’t enter my mind and it’s been a while since the thoughts caused me pain. Even early on there were happy times (HB helped!) but also times I would be sitting at a traffic light and would burst into tears.

Even though I can now see that I made a poor choice of a husband (all the red flags were there, but hey, I was 21!) I am glad that I chose to reconcile and can see myself growing old/er with this man as my partner.

I wish you all the best on your own journeys.

Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled

posts: 2376   ·   registered: Oct. 16th, 2012   ·   location: northeast
id 8756877
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:12 PM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022

Great to hear from you, especially with suck good news. Thanks for sharing.

*****

BTW, I spent several days last week in a house with two 10 month old kittens - they were fantastic together, better than any media event I've ever seen, I think, and - get this - they often got their staff, even their temporary staff, to provide lots of affection. (signed) another cat lover.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27878   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8756891
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 catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 5:55 PM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022

Hi Sisoon! You were one of the wise people I was referring to!

And cats are the best!!

Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled

posts: 2376   ·   registered: Oct. 16th, 2012   ·   location: northeast
id 8756902
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 10:10 PM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022

Thanks for the update and the positive story.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8756931
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 11:44 AM on Sunday, September 25th, 2022

That’s a really nice update/story. Thank you for sharing.

Married for 20 years with two kids when my husband had a six month affair with a coworker. DD1: 6/2020. DD2: 7/3/2020. Reconciling

posts: 276   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8756975
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 catlover50 (original poster member #37154) posted at 7:11 PM on Sunday, September 25th, 2022

You’re welcome!

Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled

posts: 2376   ·   registered: Oct. 16th, 2012   ·   location: northeast
id 8757008
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 11:01 PM on Tuesday, September 27th, 2022

Oh my gosh...ANOTHER positive update...so COOL grin !!! CONGRATULATIONS on your 10 years of an authentic M...and thank you for sharing smile !!

YOUR post could really be a huge HELP in the "Positive Reconciliation Stories" thread that is pinned at the TOP of this Forum smile . One of the THREE positive updates posted in this Forum has already put her post in that thread...and you could add yours too...it is really EASY!! All you have to do is copy your post and paste it into that thread blink .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8757276
Topic is Sleeping.
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