Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: YouGoGirl2000

Reconciliation :
Resentment disbelief jealousy

Topic is Sleeping.

BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 6:04 AM on Saturday, March 25th, 2023

I have said and done every single earthly thing I know to say. I’m doing everything I can to show you.

He's done everything he thought he should have to do, which isn't much. You made yourself crystal clear about what you needed, but he'd rather end your marriage than read a book.

So, the games are over and the gloves are off.

That may be the first honest thing he's said to you.


posts: 3537   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2018
id 8784020

HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 1:15 PM on Saturday, March 25th, 2023

So, the games are over and the gloves are off.

This part is very telling. He's been playing games, while you've been trying to heal yourself, and the marriage.

It's not the gloves that are's his mask.

I will be everywhere you look,but nowhere to be found. And that will be my revenge.

posts: 5897   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8784035

BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 3:25 PM on Saturday, March 25th, 2023

Fellow mom of twins here… taking care of 2 babies was trial by fire even with a loving and supportive husband; I can’t imagine doing it with an emotionally abusive, unfaithful cad like yours. The fact that you are still standing and still have your head on straight is a triumph. Seriously!

I’m telling you this because your husband is now clearly trying to break you down. He knows he can’t fake it anymore ("games are over") so he’s going to try to terrify you into submission by calling you into a slut, a single-mom sex worker, etc ("the gloves are off"). He’s hoping you’ll be too paralyzed by fear to take action.

Please get yourself to an attorney. Find out what your rights are and get advice. At this point, I think you should start posting in the Divorce forum, where you can get valuable advice from people who have been through or are going through high conflict divorce.

Here are examples you will need to consider and ask your attorney about:

-Can you legally kick him out? What would you need to do to get exclusive use of the home?

-What do you need to do to get a preliminary custody and support order put in place?

-Your profession shouldn’t have any baring on custody, especially since you’re the primary caregiver, but it’s worth asking your attorney if you can expect any bias against you by the courts, particularly if you live in a very small, conservative district.

-Are your taxes in order? What might you need to do in advance of filing for D? If you’re getting paid primarily in cash, your husband might try to report you for underreporting your income.

I mention this because I know my ex was hiding cash and underreporting his income (he worked at a restaurant/night club) and my friends recommended that I report him to the IRS after the divorce. I didn’t because I still loved him, we didn’t have kids who were being ripped off, and I’m vindictive asshole.

These are just a few examples off the top of my head. I just want you to keep yourself and your babies safe. As Hellfire said, his mask is off and you’ve seen his true face… don’t let him make you pretend you didn’t see it.

[This message edited by BluerThanBlue at 3:27 PM, Saturday, March 25th]

BW, 40s

Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried

I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.

posts: 1603   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2020
id 8784045

FunHouseMirror ( member #80992) posted at 6:54 PM on Sunday, April 2nd, 2023

How long have you been married? I wonder if you could get an annulment? (ask your attorney)

I'll be honest. I don't think you have anything to work with here. I feel he charmed his way into your life and you're just now being shown who he really is. Believe what he has shown you. That he is a liar, a cheater, a child, and someone that doesn't want to grow.

There is so much better out there. Walk away with your head held high knowing you did what you could but that it takes two to make a marriage.

Life will get better. (But probably not if you stay with him.)

posts: 163   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2022
id 8785428
Topic is Sleeping.
Cookies on®® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20231001 2002-2023® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy