Brokenarrow150 (original poster new member #86797) posted at 5:53 PM on Wednesday, December 3rd, 2025
I’ve been happily married for 20 years. We dated for 5 years before we married. During those five years she broke up with me twice. The first breakup was maybe 3 weeks and the second was about 6 weeks.
It’s a long story and I don’t feel like it adds to the issue but I found out she had sexual relations with at least 5 different guys during this time. Intercoarse with four of them and oral only with one.
She wasn’t experience too much before me. Maybe 3 times between two guys and they probably lasted a total of 15 minutes and were vanilla ( missionary in the dark).
I believe two of these guys she messed with before the break up.
I feel like I’m a broken man. I can’t believe this and I feel over half my life has been a lie.
My wife blows it off like it was not a big deal, was so long ago, and she chose me so why am I upset.
I love her and don’t want to leave but I’m not sure how I can ever trust her. I feel insecure now as well.
I have no one to talk to other than my therapist.
HouseOfPlane ( member #45739) posted at 7:19 PM on Wednesday, December 3rd, 2025
BA150, sorry you find yourself here.
How did you find out about it? Were you asking questions?
DDay 1986: R'd, it was hard, hard work.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"
― Mary Oliver
Brokenarrow150 (original poster new member #86797) posted at 7:27 PM on Wednesday, December 3rd, 2025
Long story but we had a really big fight and the issue of trust came up and things spiraled out of control. From that argument I had hunched and started digging.
gr8ful ( member #58180) posted at 7:35 PM on Wednesday, December 3rd, 2025
Curious: when you got back together each time, did you ask her if she was sexually active with anyone else?
