SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Thanks for the update. It is positive. It appears your WW is capable of remorse and doing the work on herself to try and rebuild trust. Watch her actions and not her words. It is possible to successfully R. You heal you, and your WW heals herself and together you heal the M. Always value yourself. Good luck.

Thank you.

I know it's early on, but if I don't hope for the best I know I'll get stuck in a loop of making myself sick with worry, doubt and dealing with broken trust.

I'm trying to see my friends, work on my music, try and ride my bike or spend time outside, but it's hard to gather up the motivation some days/times. Right now I'm sitting at work and was having a sort of decent day and then my stomach got all wound up again.

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

My wife got home from work last night (she works a closing shift two nights a week at the brewery she's at) at around midnight. I was in bed, struggling to sleep (pretty common for me the last two and a half weeks) and she put her arm around me and I started crying.

I got up out of bed and told her I need to lay down on the couch. I stayed there until about 6:30 this morning and got ready to go into the office. I don't normally go to my office on thursdays but I don't think I could have worked from home all day with her there.

I feel like getting up out of our bed and telling her "I don't feel good right now" may have showed her again just how much I'm struggling with this. I actually think I'm going to stay at my dad's for a few days as well.

It hits me in waves. For a few hours each day I feel "OK" then I think about what she did, and wonder "why?" even though she's told me. After reading a lot on the forum here, I know there's likely more to the story, but I don't think I could stomach it yet. Or maybe at all. But right now, I go back and forth between "I'm proud of me, I confronted her and stood up for myself" to "wow, she's that depressed, that stressed, that unhappy that she chose to do this and hurt me worse than ever."

This sucks.

Its called the emotional rollercoaster and it is a common emotional response to infidelity. You will be on this rollercosster for a while, but it does get better with time. Understand that unfortunately it is something you will go through.

Thank you.

Even if my wife's willing to try and work on this, I think I'm going to need some space. I might go stay with my dad for a few days to try and give myself a buffer. I'm sitting at my desk here at work and feel nauseous again.