SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Today I decided to check the phone bill. Today I was hit in the face with exactly much he was talking to her. Hours and hours. Someone once told me "if to go looking for hurt, you’ll find it". I guess that’s the truth.

Sk70:

I'm very sorry to hear about your discovery. Its a traumatic realization and your pain is justified. Its true, ignorance is bliss, but the truth will set you free.

I found out about my wife's affair via phone records as well. She talked to her affair partner for over 283 hours in one calendar year... it's unbelievable.

Keep your head up. There is a lot of knowledge and experience on this forum to help you through this trauma. I wish you the best moving forward.

I did the same thing after confronting my wife.

Not as many hours as you found, but still enough to hurt.

Sorry you're here, but at least you've got a supportive group of people here with you.

He broke his commitment to not drink. That was my fault too. I guess I drove him to it by sharing the bad day I was having. I told him if he contacts her we’re over. Please someone hold me to this.

He broke his commitment to not drink. That was my fault too. I guess I drove him to it by sharing the bad day I was having.

I'm pretty sure you know that's bullshit and you're saying this sarcastically, but just in case I'm here to tell you that's bullshit. I know alcoholism. I was one for most of my life, and in another life was involved with one who was worse than I was. He drank because he wanted to. You are NEVER at fault for his drinking. Period. End of story.

I told him if he contacts her we’re over. Please someone hold me to this.

You may want to start considering maybe it's already over. He has a lot of work to do and from what I've seen you type he isn't putting nearly enough effort into it.

I just don’t want to believe that. Does that make me stupid, I guess. We’ve had what I thought was some really good progress. Until today when drinking became more important than working on us.

You're not stupid. You love and trusted your husband and he betrayed you. It's further complicated by his addiction to alcohol.

Most of us want to trust and believe our spouses. It means you're a human with feelings. None of this is your fault.

I think it's normal for all BS's to feel like fools at some point after discovery, but we're not fools, we are people who implicitly trusted the one person in our life that we thought would always have our back and would never do anything to hurt us.

That's what you're supposed to be able to do with the person you love. You're supposed to be able to confess your deepest secrets, your desires, your fantasies, your fears, your successes, your failures, and no matter what they are right there with you.

BTW, I discovered that text messages between Apple phones do not go through your cell phone carrier, they go through Apple servers thus no record if you look at your phone bill. I almost gave up after looking at my wife's cell phone log but thankfully I checked her tablet in the middle of the day while she was at work. Thankfully her tablet was still synced to her phone so I saw what she was doing.

She was clever enough to delete their sexting before leaving work in case I looked at her phone but not clever enough to unsync her tablet from her phone. Had I not looked at that tablet I might still be in the dark and who knows how far her affair would have progressed

You are not a fool, you are a person who loved your spouse and your love was taken for granted and abused

[This message edited by WB1340 at 1:51 AM, Friday, July 10th]