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Hindsight

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HouseOfPlane posted 1/2/2018 08:59 AM

Your STBXW went from The Master of The Known Universe to The End of the Whip. Complete control to no control. Not dealing with it well, obviously.

leftbroken posted 1/29/2018 18:37 PM

Well Y, did you sort out the tennancy issue?
has your STBXW come clean about the nature of her relationship with her room mate? is she still trying to R?

tikismom posted 2/28/2018 12:08 PM

Wow, what a thread! Any update from the OP?

Does anyone have the thread to "TurnOtherCheek" post?

findingjoy posted 2/28/2018 12:44 PM

A relevant thread, Tikismom. Here you go - turntheothercheek's JFO thread:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=591733

MidnightRun posted 4/3/2018 12:10 PM

Bump

MidnightRun posted 4/10/2018 23:44 PM

Bump.

MidnightRun posted 4/20/2018 17:52 PM

Bump

MidnightRun posted 7/15/2018 12:48 PM

Bump.

YHGTBKM posted 8/29/2018 02:19 AM

Hello Everyone, I thought an update was in order.

The sublessee was very gracious and agreed to move out. My father in-law collected his daughter and took her home to convalesce. She started seeing a counsellor to "work on herself". Months passed and she seemingly went no contact with both me and our daughter. Some updates from her parents said that she was doing better, on medication (her mother tried to insinuate that she was bipolar and therefore not in her full faculties when she cheated so I should be the bigger man and give her another chance.) working full-time and dating again. I laughed at her mother when she suggested the reconnection, and told her that she was fully lucid when orchestrating her deceit, fully lucid when she destroyed her family for nothing. I received no response. The father in-law could only say that he was sorry, that he raised her to be better than that and it was a great source of shame for him.

I truly thought we had both moved on from this marriage but that is sadly not the case. It turns our that her new guy is a lawyer (research) and encouraged her to seek more in "damages". Her claim was that she could not be removed from the matrimonial home, that she signed the pre-nup under duress, and my actions are tantamount to mental cruelty. She actually told me that she wants what she is due! I guess the $1000's and $1000's was something she didn't deserve

My lawyer is confident that her hope is that I will settle on a new number. I am sure nothing will come of it but it is still aggravating. It seems that you are never completely out.

On a different front, I actually started dating the lady from the apartment. She is also recently divorced so we are both on the same page about not wanting anything serious. Also, I bought myself a new toy - I always wanted a Maserati and treated myself...yaaay for me.

DarkHoleHeart posted 8/29/2018 02:43 AM

YHGTBKM, thanks for update.

It is sad that she is not leaving you to heal in piece with all that "damages" bullshit...

BearlyBreathing posted 8/29/2018 04:28 AM

Enjoy your beautiful car and thanks for the update. Good luck fighting the new legal battle.

wordsofwisdom posted 8/29/2018 04:40 AM

Thanks for the update. Hope your daughter is doing well. It is amazing that your wife is thinking about money, not about her mental health and about her daughter, let alone what she had done to you.

Weren't you considering to move to a different place. To me, it felt as a great relief to move away from daily triggers, and I can't imagine how you it is going when you stay in the same house, the same town, with all these memories of your past.

Good luck in your new endeavors!

fareast posted 8/29/2018 08:34 AM

Thanks for the update.

My thoughts also go out to your daughter. Although as you describe she is strong and smart, it still has to be so difficult to see your mother disintegrate before your eyes.

Good luck to you. You seem to be moving ahead very well as I expected after reading your entire thread. Enjoy the fabulous car.😎

Western posted 8/29/2018 08:46 AM

her Mom has a lot of balls thinking you should hook up again with her after what she did to you, and what she is currently doing to you now (going after your throat through her new boyfriend lawyer) and the fact that she is not pining for you back.

I agree with the Dad but it seems like he doesn't wear any pants there IMO.

Your attorney must be strong and you are in a battle. WIN THIS !!!

And thanks for coming back

Buster123 posted 8/29/2018 10:58 AM

@YHGTBKM

Thanks for the update, I had read your entire thread a few weeks ago, I'm glad you're now dating and enjoying your new toy.

I want to congratulate you for your determination and how you handled this awful situation your STXWW put you and your daughter in.

Your STXWW is a serial cheater (MFM,FMF, previous As), she risked your life, you were lucky you did not get an STD from her and I hope you stand firm and NOT GIVE HER ANOTHER CENT besides what was in the final divorce agreement, your prenup/postnup is ironclad, to me it's worth it to continue the battle with her if that's what she wants, she will eventually get tired for paying her attorneys fees or new boyfriend/attorney will get tired eventually and see the writing on the wall.

It's been less than a year, btw any word on the guy she was so "in love with" and even planned to go live with (Carlos) ?. I know your life is better without her already and will keep getting better. I disagree with others, keep the house, one of her biggest punishments will be to see someone else have everything she once took for granted.

Please keep updating us from time to time.

RubixCubed posted 8/29/2018 22:04 PM

Thanks for the update. I think of your story often. Is there any way your lawyer can make a case with her continued harassment and legal threats to put the screws to your ex?
Have fun with the Maserati ( I suppose that's a given) and best of luck in getting the ex out of your life for good.

babbu posted 8/29/2018 22:07 PM

Make sure that you use all evidence of her trying to reconnect with you in the lawsuit, because when she tried to reconnect that showed you didn't do anything abuse. Sheesh.

YHGTBKM posted 9/1/2018 00:16 AM

I left out some important details. After I discovered that the ex, sublet the condo to finance her new apartment with guy number?? (I am not sure), she came by the house and actually pretended like the last year never happened. Both my daughter and I weren't sure if she was faking or having a major disassociation from reality.

Anyway I ended up calling the boyfriend number??, to come and get her and he accuses me of being the violet ex-husband. I had to break it to boyfriend number??, that she has continually tried to get back together with me so how bad could I be?? He shows up without her knowledge and Low-and-behold, I get accused of "ruining her life". Boyfriend number??, has a moment of clarity and leaves. I haven't seen or heard from him at all - I kind of felt bad for him.

I had enough of her games and called the police and told them about her behavior. That and her past psych hold, was enough for the police to take her in for another assessment. It was after this that her dad came an got her.

I doubt that anything will come of this financially for me. My only concern is getting her out of my life for good.

As for my daughter, she is great. Continued Honor role, she got a job (I am only allowing 8 hrs a week total) and an all around great kid.

If anything else happens, I will update when I can.

HopefulJourney posted 9/1/2018 02:26 AM

You handled it, from the beginning, like a champ! I hope life smooths out for you and your daughter now.

wordsofwisdom posted 9/1/2018 04:06 AM

You ex is mentally ill and I just cannot see how this is going to end well for her. I wonder what are trespassing laws in your state, because the RO obviously does not work in the slightest. Was glad to hear your daughter is doing fine.

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