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New Beginnings :
Little quirks you love

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 ADryHeat (original poster member #46484) posted at 4:54 AM on Saturday, May 6th, 2017

I was thinking about this today and thought it would be a fun post. We all have our standards: I want someone who is X tall or has this or that body type. I want them to have x education/employment. I want them to have kids/not have kids. I hope they like doing X hobby I love.

But what are the little quirks, characteristics, etc that make you feel kind of weak in the knees for someone? The less obvious things?

For me:

British accents. I've started talking to someone and he is British and I swear I could listen to him say my name with his accent allllll dayyyy long.

Artists, especially for some reason photographers. I've dated FOUR photographers since getting divorced 18 months ago.

A successfully delivered double entendre. The type where you almost hesitate to acknowledge it WAS a double entendre for fear you'll seem like you have a dirty mind....but you also know for damn sure it was.

Me: BSMarried 11 years, 2 young kidsDDay 11/3/14, Discovered he was still a fuckwit: 7/10/15 DIVORCED 11/12/2015"Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but actually you've been planted."

posts: 2396   ·   registered: Jan. 24th, 2015   ·   location: AZ
id 7856725
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 5:35 AM on Saturday, May 6th, 2017

Cute dorks. I worked with this guy who was 100% my physical type - tall, lean, dark hair. But he was also a big dork. Really smart, rumpled clothes, goofy jokes, endearingly awkward. One day I guess his glasses broke and he fixed them with tape. All that adorkableness AND taped-up glasses? I literally could not look at him, he was so attractive to me. 😂😂😂😂😂

[This message edited by JanaGreen at 11:36 PM, May 5th (Friday)]

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 7856746
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heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 6:31 AM on Saturday, May 6th, 2017

Rough, strong, callused, manly hands. And worn thin jeans. They kinda go together.

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.

posts: 2540   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: California
id 7856772
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 6:49 AM on Saturday, May 6th, 2017

Oh definitely I'm a sucker for an Englishman, or a Southerner.

Not sure if this is a double entendre, but I'm meeting a coffee date tomorrow at the farmer's market and he said he'd buy me a carrot.

Never heard that one before.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 12:49 AM, May 6th (Saturday)]

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21594   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 7856777
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 7:02 AM on Saturday, May 6th, 2017

I've always had a thing for uniforms. Ironically, when I met SO, the attraction was already there, THEN I learned his occupation. Yep, uniform. Icing on the cake...

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 7856785
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Isthereanyhope ( member #53948) posted at 1:21 PM on Saturday, May 6th, 2017

Confidence. I find nothing sexier than someone who is comfortable in their own skin. I've learned through this healing process that the better I am feeling about myself, the more responsive other people are to me. And I find that quality to be so important in other people. Confident, not arrogant- huge difference.

Me- MH
Him- MH
Together 20 years (married 18)
Divorced!!!

posts: 205   ·   registered: Jul. 2nd, 2016
id 7856866
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SallyShrink81 ( member #50219) posted at 11:58 PM on Saturday, May 6th, 2017

This is specific to current SO but he is such a good dad and has a dad bod which is like he's fully embracing the experience. I love it. He's self conscious about it but I do what I can to reassure him that I'm emotionally and physically very attracted to him.

I also like guys who get nerdy about what they love.

Finally a good command of dry sarcastic humor. It drives me wild!!

FBS now surviving and thriving
2 kiddos born 2011 & 2014
"If a woman steals your husband, she might as well steal your shoes too, because one day she'll be walking in them." #karma

posts: 909   ·   registered: Nov. 4th, 2015   ·   location: Michigan
id 7857289
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twisted ( member #8873) posted at 3:12 AM on Sunday, May 7th, 2017

A beautiful woman that doesn't know she's beautiful, or least pretends she doesn't know.

Some women try too hard to be the center of attention. I'm always leery of those. I'll take the quiet intelligent one with glasses, much deeper and mysterious.

[This message edited by twisted at 8:32 AM, May 9th (Tuesday)]

"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

posts: 4023   ·   registered: Nov. 18th, 2005   ·   location: Oklahoma
id 7857411
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thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 4:26 AM on Sunday, May 7th, 2017

Short, wispy, cute shy types. My wife (after divorcing WW) is 5', 100 lbs, writer, timid, cute.... WOOF!

ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...

posts: 4480   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: Vancouver, WA
id 7857452
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 5:06 AM on Sunday, May 7th, 2017

A really good, snarky, ironic sense of humor

Loves to hike; birder would be a huge plus

Few or no physical limitations

Will eat just about anything

Understands that I need to be alone when I need to be alone.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 7857477
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Oftencheatedon ( member #41268) posted at 5:07 AM on Sunday, May 7th, 2017

I had a thing for blond men - especially those with lots of education from top universities and very successful. I have unbelievable academic credentials myself.

But later in life after being single for a long time I met my current non-cheating DH. We would NEVER have been matched on any dating site. He's none of the things I thought I wanted.

Yet he is very intelligent and interesting because he is so different from me. I think I was always looking for a clone of me in the past. And I was always bored with being with someone too much like me.

I adore my DH and he loves me to the moon and back. He is so kind and helpful and he keeps telling me how much he loves being with me - as I do with him.

I just wish everyone could have the kind of relationship that we have.

posts: 1274   ·   registered: Nov. 7th, 2013   ·   location: AL
id 7857480
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MakingMyFuture ( member #43530) posted at 3:54 PM on Sunday, May 7th, 2017

Top skill in just about anything. Their chosen profession, a musical instrument, cooking, computers. When a person commands skill in any area I am immediately sucked in.

Height always makes me weak. I topped out at dating 6'5" because taller than that makes it hard to kiss. And big. I have a pretty big personality so big guys always make me feel more "girlie". Funny enough, guy I'm currently dating is only about 5'8" and thin. I've now discovered small is kind of sexy. Out bodies fit together in a whole new delicious way. Who new!?!

When people show you who they really are, believe them - Maya Angelou

BW: 43 (me) WH: 42 (him)
DD-13, DS-11
DDay 1 = 1/13, DDay2 = 7/14 (False R), D 4/15

posts: 1128   ·   registered: May. 25th, 2014   ·   location: SoCal
id 7857668
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cantaccept ( member #37451) posted at 4:23 PM on Sunday, May 7th, 2017

The voice, deep and at the same time I can hear the smile in it.

When he says my name I melt. Had some issues with hearing my name in the past, . He has done a pretty good job of dispelling that and he doesn't even know.

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

posts: 3505   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 7857692
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MakingMyFuture ( member #43530) posted at 5:16 PM on Sunday, May 7th, 2017

browser back created duplicate post!

[This message edited by MakingMyFuture at 1:35 PM, May 7th (Sunday)]

When people show you who they really are, believe them - Maya Angelou

BW: 43 (me) WH: 42 (him)
DD-13, DS-11
DDay 1 = 1/13, DDay2 = 7/14 (False R), D 4/15

posts: 1128   ·   registered: May. 25th, 2014   ·   location: SoCal
id 7857732
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Adlham ( member #53358) posted at 7:40 PM on Sunday, May 7th, 2017

Um yeah about that British accent thing...

So I married a Brit! And sadly, after 14 years I have to concentrate to hear his accent now, dammit!

But he does this thing when we're sleeping. He frequently faces away from me but when he does, he will stick his arm behind him to put his hand under my hip. I love that! He will also hold my hand in his sleep. Very sweet and makes me know I am loved so much more than words.

And god how I love a good brain. Nothing hotter than a smart man who can carry a conversation about stuff. And teach me stuff. I'm no slouch in the brains department but in different ways than my husband.

There is NO need to have that “one last conversation” with a toxic individual in your life.” The closure will come when you look deeper inside yourself. It’s not your job to fix someone when they are unwilling to fix themselves.

posts: 1821   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2016   ·   location: Pacific Northwest!
id 7857835
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kpstartingover ( member #47854) posted at 8:01 PM on Sunday, May 7th, 2017

The guy who I've been seeing for almost 2 months does a really goofy dance that just thrills my dog to pieces. He has zero self-consciousness and I'm positive a lot of women would find it immature or obnoxious or too loud, but me and my pup just adore it.

posts: 744   ·   registered: May. 12th, 2015
id 7857851
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dancingmom66 ( member #52372) posted at 9:30 PM on Sunday, May 7th, 2017

A man that looks great in a suit. Competence and intelligence.

D-day 3/18/16
Divorce was final 10/6/16

posts: 138   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2016   ·   location: mn
id 7857910
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TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 9:52 PM on Sunday, May 7th, 2017

A guy with a good heart who makes me feel special even when I know I don't look it. I have always been with guys who wanted someone for appearance sake. Now I don't have to impress anyone but myself. He thinks I am beautiful and sexy when I am sitting around in a holey shirt with my hair looking like I just got out of a wind storm.

I also want a guy who is a dog lover. My SO stops every Friday on his way home from work and picks our two little dogs up treats/toys. He loves them and he is as excited to see them as they are to see him on the weekends. I think that is the cutest thing.

XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"

posts: 10077   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 7857922
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BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 2:11 PM on Monday, May 8th, 2017

Well if there is one thing that 22 years in the English countryside has cured me of it's a love of a British accent!! Actually, to be fair, my kids all have British accents and I don't even notice it. Sorry to say but it really stops being a "thing" after a while. And occasionally I run into British guys online and if they admit to going to boarding school I run a mile. BTDT and it didn't end well.

The guy I'm seeing now is the complete and total opposite of what I thought I'd like. He's smart but he's not academic. And he's short which is a weird adjustment because my Ex is 6'2". I didn't meet him OLD where I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have passed my "filter" but through a friend which has been a revelation. I initiated the first date because my friend is a terrible wing-man!

But he's so damn nice to me... When I have to cancel at the last minute because of some kid thing, there's no pressure. And if we meet some place for dinner he drives me home and then makes sure that I get in to my house okay. SO NICE. He is really quite lovely. And God is he sexy.

It's early days with him but I think I'm ready for something more then dating. And I feel safe with him. Who knew?

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3432   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 7858295
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wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 2:20 PM on Monday, May 8th, 2017

My SO and I work together (different departments). He's a manager... and his whole office is decorated in Star Wars, down to the Lego characters he glued to magnets and put all over his overhead cabinets. He's a geek and it's adorable.

kp, that is so cute! It made me smile.

[This message edited by wildbananas at 8:21 AM, May 8th (Monday)]

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

posts: 16592   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2006   ·   location: Somewhere
id 7858313
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