SurvivingInfidelity.com® > New Beginnings

ADryHeat posted 5/5/2017 22:54 PM

I was thinking about this today and thought it would be a fun post. We all have our standards: I want someone who is X tall or has this or that body type. I want them to have x education/employment. I want them to have kids/not have kids. I hope they like doing X hobby I love.

But what are the little quirks, characteristics, etc that make you feel kind of weak in the knees for someone? The less obvious things?

For me:

British accents. I've started talking to someone and he is British and I swear I could listen to him say my name with his accent allllll dayyyy long.

Artists, especially for some reason photographers. I've dated FOUR photographers since getting divorced 18 months ago.

A successfully delivered double entendre. The type where you almost hesitate to acknowledge it WAS a double entendre for fear you'll seem like you have a dirty mind....but you also know for damn sure it was.

JanaGreen posted 5/5/2017 23:35 PM

Cute dorks. I worked with this guy who was 100% my physical type - tall, lean, dark hair. But he was also a big dork. Really smart, rumpled clothes, goofy jokes, endearingly awkward. One day I guess his glasses broke and he fixed them with tape. All that adorkableness AND taped-up glasses? I literally could not look at him, he was so attractive to me. 😂😂😂😂😂

[This message edited by JanaGreen at 11:36 PM, May 5th (Friday)]

heartbroken_kk posted 5/6/2017 00:31 AM

Rough, strong, callused, manly hands. And worn thin jeans. They kinda go together.

FaithFool posted 5/6/2017 00:49 AM

Oh definitely I'm a sucker for an Englishman, or a Southerner.

Not sure if this is a double entendre, but I'm meeting a coffee date tomorrow at the farmer's market and he said he'd buy me a carrot.

Never heard that one before.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 12:49 AM, May 6th (Saturday)]

Phoenix1 posted 5/6/2017 01:02 AM

I've always had a thing for uniforms. Ironically, when I met SO, the attraction was already there, THEN I learned his occupation. Yep, uniform. Icing on the cake...

Isthereanyhope posted 5/6/2017 07:21 AM

Confidence. I find nothing sexier than someone who is comfortable in their own skin. I've learned through this healing process that the better I am feeling about myself, the more responsive other people are to me. And I find that quality to be so important in other people. Confident, not arrogant- huge difference.

SallyShrink81 posted 5/6/2017 17:58 PM

This is specific to current SO but he is such a good dad and has a dad bod which is like he's fully embracing the experience. I love it. He's self conscious about it but I do what I can to reassure him that I'm emotionally and physically very attracted to him.

I also like guys who get nerdy about what they love.
Finally a good command of dry sarcastic humor. It drives me wild!!

twisted posted 5/6/2017 21:12 PM

A beautiful woman that doesn't know she's beautiful, or least pretends she doesn't know.
Some women try too hard to be the center of attention. I'm always leery of those. I'll take the quiet intelligent one with glasses, much deeper and mysterious.

[This message edited by twisted at 8:32 AM, May 9th (Tuesday)]

thatbpguy posted 5/6/2017 22:26 PM

Short, wispy, cute shy types. My wife (after divorcing WW) is 5', 100 lbs, writer, timid, cute.... WOOF!

Sad in AZ posted 5/6/2017 23:06 PM

A really good, snarky, ironic sense of humor

Loves to hike; birder would be a huge plus

Few or no physical limitations

Will eat just about anything

Understands that I need to be alone when I need to be alone.

Oftencheatedon posted 5/6/2017 23:07 PM

I had a thing for blond men - especially those with lots of education from top universities and very successful. I have unbelievable academic credentials myself.

But later in life after being single for a long time I met my current non-cheating DH. We would NEVER have been matched on any dating site. He's none of the things I thought I wanted.

Yet he is very intelligent and interesting because he is so different from me. I think I was always looking for a clone of me in the past. And I was always bored with being with someone too much like me.

I adore my DH and he loves me to the moon and back. He is so kind and helpful and he keeps telling me how much he loves being with me - as I do with him.

I just wish everyone could have the kind of relationship that we have.

MakingMyFuture posted 5/7/2017 09:54 AM

Top skill in just about anything. Their chosen profession, a musical instrument, cooking, computers. When a person commands skill in any area I am immediately sucked in.

Height always makes me weak. I topped out at dating 6'5" because taller than that makes it hard to kiss. And big. I have a pretty big personality so big guys always make me feel more "girlie". Funny enough, guy I'm currently dating is only about 5'8" and thin. I've now discovered small is kind of sexy. Out bodies fit together in a whole new delicious way. Who new!?!

cantaccept posted 5/7/2017 10:23 AM

The voice, deep and at the same time I can hear the smile in it.

When he says my name I melt. Had some issues with hearing my name in the past, . He has done a pretty good job of dispelling that and he doesn't even know.

MakingMyFuture posted 5/7/2017 11:16 AM

browser back created duplicate post!

[This message edited by MakingMyFuture at 1:35 PM, May 7th (Sunday)]

Adlham posted 5/7/2017 13:40 PM

Um yeah about that British accent thing...
So I married a Brit! And sadly, after 14 years I have to concentrate to hear his accent now, dammit!
But he does this thing when we're sleeping. He frequently faces away from me but when he does, he will stick his arm behind him to put his hand under my hip. I love that! He will also hold my hand in his sleep. Very sweet and makes me know I am loved so much more than words.
And god how I love a good brain. Nothing hotter than a smart man who can carry a conversation about stuff. And teach me stuff. I'm no slouch in the brains department but in different ways than my husband.

kpstartingover posted 5/7/2017 14:01 PM

The guy who I've been seeing for almost 2 months does a really goofy dance that just thrills my dog to pieces. He has zero self-consciousness and I'm positive a lot of women would find it immature or obnoxious or too loud, but me and my pup just adore it.

dancingmom66 posted 5/7/2017 15:30 PM

A man that looks great in a suit. Competence and intelligence.

TrustGone posted 5/7/2017 15:52 PM

A guy with a good heart who makes me feel special even when I know I don't look it. I have always been with guys who wanted someone for appearance sake. Now I don't have to impress anyone but myself. He thinks I am beautiful and sexy when I am sitting around in a holey shirt with my hair looking like I just got out of a wind storm.

I also want a guy who is a dog lover. My SO stops every Friday on his way home from work and picks our two little dogs up treats/toys. He loves them and he is as excited to see them as they are to see him on the weekends. I think that is the cutest thing.

BrokenheartedUK posted 5/8/2017 08:11 AM

Well if there is one thing that 22 years in the English countryside has cured me of it's a love of a British accent!! Actually, to be fair, my kids all have British accents and I don't even notice it. Sorry to say but it really stops being a "thing" after a while. And occasionally I run into British guys online and if they admit to going to boarding school I run a mile. BTDT and it didn't end well.

The guy I'm seeing now is the complete and total opposite of what I thought I'd like. He's smart but he's not academic. And he's short which is a weird adjustment because my Ex is 6'2". I didn't meet him OLD where I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have passed my "filter" but through a friend which has been a revelation. I initiated the first date because my friend is a terrible wing-man!

But he's so damn nice to me... When I have to cancel at the last minute because of some kid thing, there's no pressure. And if we meet some place for dinner he drives me home and then makes sure that I get in to my house okay. SO NICE. He is really quite lovely. And God is he sexy.

It's early days with him but I think I'm ready for something more then dating. And I feel safe with him. Who knew?

wildbananas posted 5/8/2017 08:20 AM

My SO and I work together (different departments). He's a manager... and his whole office is decorated in Star Wars, down to the Lego characters he glued to magnets and put all over his overhead cabinets. He's a geek and it's adorable.

kp, that is so cute! It made me smile.

[This message edited by wildbananas at 8:21 AM, May 8th (Monday)]