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nightowl1975 (original poster member #32212) posted at 7:52 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
(Thread in NB titled My Daughter has a brain tumor, and dolllw up here in OT titled Broken, but breathing for back story)
She has been moved to first case of the day. Arrive at 5:15am CST, surgery at 7am, expected to last 6 hours.
I am... in shock, numb, devastated. I can't sleep, haven't slept more than 3-4 hours a night since October 3rd when my entire world was turned upside down. I can't eat, or even drink much.
I don't know how to do this.
Me: 44
Ex: 52
D Day: 4/2010
Divorced: 7/2010
earthangel ( member #44357) posted at 8:00 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
(((Nightowl)))
First on the list is a blessing ...less time to stress and have to mask your feelings and anxiety from your daughter.
You'll do this because you have to and because you can !!! Your daughter will be looking to your lead as to how she should behave and whether or not she should be scared or confident...
Your time to fall apart is once she's in theatre and not there to witness it 😔 I SO hope you have someone with you during those long hours ?
Put your faith and trust in the skills of the neurosurgeon and his team and know that many, many people are holding you, your daughter and her siblings in their thoughts and prayers today xx
Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it’s bad - it's experience.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:02 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
You are stronger than you know. I like the advise of the previous poster. We will be waiting to hear your update!!
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Vogel ( member #47493) posted at 11:29 AM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
Praying for you, your daughter and your family. Those six hours will be the longest of your life but you are not alone. Sending lots of good thoughts from the other side of the world.
cantaccept ( member #37451) posted at 12:08 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
Thinking of you and your family this morning. You can do this, one tiny step at a time. Wish I could do more.
(((nightowl)))
"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie
windows ( member #14054) posted at 12:35 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
Paying for you and your daughter...
alphakitte ( member #33438) posted at 12:45 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
((Nightowl))) I can only imagine. Holding you, and yours, in my heart.
------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 12:52 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
((night owl))) I can't imagine the horror.... but please try to eat a little and drink water... you need to take care of your body.
Take one hour at a time and know that you and your DD will be receiving tons of prayers, love, hugs and positive energy.
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:23 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
Thinking of you! I know there is nothing we can say to make this any better but you are not alone. You have an entire board of SI support right there with you.
Try to get something you can just sip on (like a very cold, health smoothie and put it in an insulated cup). Even a swallow every 15 minutes will get something in your body to keep you going without making you throw up.
I don't know how to do this.
I know - but you will because you have too. If you need to hid in a bathroom stall and cry, then do it. Let those tears out. Then dry your eyes and get your strong face back on for your DD.
Violated ( member #21239) posted at 1:23 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
((((nightowl)))) We're all with you in spirit. Sending prayers and strength.
nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 1:29 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
Thinking of you and your daughter and sending up prayers for you both.
We are waiting with you. You can do this.
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
StillStanding1 ( member #40144) posted at 1:50 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
Sending prayers. You have the love and support of more people than you know. These will be torturous hours. My heart goes out to you. (((Nightowl)))
Me: BS50s Him: WH50s
M 25 years - DD DS DS
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday - 2/13, S for 1 year, now R
ChewedMeUp ( member #8008) posted at 1:51 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
Thinking of you all this morning.
BS - over 40
DivorcED, finally.
2 Kids
zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 2:01 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
Thoughts and prayers are with you on this very difficult day.
HUGS
"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."
D-day April 2010
earthangel ( member #44357) posted at 2:15 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
Popping back to say you and your family and especially DD are very much in my thoughts. ..I bet your poor nerves are in tatters ?! (((Nightowl))) a hug from one mum to another x
Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it’s bad - it's experience.
Shockedmom ( member #44708) posted at 2:20 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
(((Night owl)))
How did the surgery go? Sending continued prayers for your daughter and your family. Hoping you have family and friends nearby to help you.
josiep ( member #58593) posted at 2:36 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
I wish I could do more than send my love but please know you have so many people praying and wishing for you and your family and hold on tight to that. Very tight.
I think there are hundreds of us following along and we'll all be waiting for the next update.
Love to you,
J.
BW, was 67; now 74; M 45 yrs., T 49 yrs.DDay#1, 1982; DDay#2, May, 2017. D July, 2017
gonnabegr8 ( member #46415) posted at 2:47 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
With you Nightowl and daughter in spirit and prayer.
I imagine you both being held up by love, hugs and evergy from all of us and lots of little cherubim Angels.
Look for good today nightowl - anywhere you can find it there at the hospital, in line at the cafe - and create it where and when you can. Try to laugh or smile to show it all that "you've got this" and you're stronger than it. You overcome evil by doing good. You're clearly a strong woman and mom.....
I am believing and praying for healing for you and your baby girl. (((((Hugs!)))))
hardtimesinlife ( member #10468) posted at 3:37 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
I am praying and praying for your beautiful daughter and for your entire family. Your surgeon is great, your daughter is strong and her team is there for her. Breathe. Your miracle is happening.
Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 4:15 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017
Thinking of you two today!
You're both incredibly brave.
(((((nightowl and dd)))))
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
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