Hi Broken. I rarely post these days as a BS who is long reconciled from my wife's affair many years ago. My reluctance to post, particularly in JFO, is because of what you see in the messages above - the immediate doubting of your wife's sincerity and the resulting inference that there must be some underhanded rationale for why she has sought to reconcile with you.
You will notice, by the way, that those posts are from guys who are either A) divorced or B) very unhappy with their reconciliation. No knock on what is THEIR reality... but it is pretty jaded.
So let me give you another perspective.
Women who are caught in an affair usually don't know what to do when the hammer drops. It's not as if they have been going to counseling throughout the affair and reading books along the way on how to help their betrayed husbands... all in preparation for when they're caught. They are just as unprepared for the horror they've unleashed as you are. And, let's just be honest here, there ARE emotions involved - particularly for a wife who's probably not been in an affair for 9 months solely for the sex. So this idea that a woman is going to spin around on a dime and immediately throw the affair partner under the bus rarely happens.
Instead, they get caught... and need to gather themselves as to what happens next. There is almost always a conversation with the affair partner, some consideration over what the future might hold for her and this guy, and some sense of self-preservation under the assumption that there's a divorce hammer coming soon. All of that, for as much as a betrayed spouse may not like it, is normal. Looking back on it from years down the road and a far more objective perspective, there is nothing surprising about how your wife acted. It sucks... but it's not unusual, despite the cries from the peanut gallery here that it reflects something more sinister.
Despite the first few days, what is MOST important is what happens NEXT. In your case, your wife has realized that she made a mistake and is taking action to fix the problem that SHE made. The fact that she took the weekend is in NO WAY a reflection of her sincerity - and anyone suggesting that is simply unrealistic about how true reconciliation actually happens. Your wife is working on herself and the marriage. That is a positive step.
Now for the rest of your question - the how do YOU get through it part. 3 1/2 months is nothing. NOTHING! It will take you years to recover - sometimes faster, sometimes sprinkled with amazing times, sometimes interjected with horrible days, mind movies, and sadness. That's the reality... and there is very little you can do to speed up the process.
Somethings that you SHOULD know, if (and, at this stage it's a BIG if) you decide to reconcile. The first is that the affair never goes away. I don't care how great your wife becomes and how sincere the reconciliation is - you will NEVER get over the fact that your wife fucked another guy. For as amazing as my marriage is now (and it IS amazing) there are still times I find myself thinking about it. And it's been 8 years.
Second, you MUST reconcile the fact that your wife is not who you thought she was. If you were like me and thought your wife was the greatest person ever, it's time to take her off the pedestal. Come to terms with who she is - it will help you immensely in your relationship moving forward.
Third, understand that people DO change. They do things that they are super regretful about and (some) are capable of recognizing it. My wife often comments that she's a different person than who she was 10 years ago. I have a choice - I can either recognize this and enjoy the marriage we have now or I can live in the past and only see who she was. Well, you know what? I've done some really stupid, mean things in my life. I don't do them anymore because I've learned a lot about myself. Maybe your wife has learned that, too. Not everyone is capable - so only you can be the one to judge her intentions.
True reconciliation (not just getting past the affair and renewing the old marriage - but, rather, creating a NEW marriage with a new set of standards) is very, very hard. It takes a long time with two people who are committed to making it happen. It is NOT for everyone.
Best of luck to you.