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Meaning of the word unicorn.

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 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 12:02 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

I saw this word used by more than one SI member and wanted to use this term myself and tell some BS that their WS is a "unicorn" but didn't and looked up the term unicorn myself and was glad I didn't call someone else's WS a unicorn.

Here is the meaning of the word unicorn

As evidenced in the 2010s, this unicorn is slang for, usually, a bisexual woman who sleeps with an existing couple composed of a heterosexual male and bisexual woman without the expectation of emotional intimacy. The term implies that such a person is rare—like the unicorn in myth.

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

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 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 12:04 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

Because of the many connotations of the word unicorn, I was glad I chose to use the word rare and unique instead.

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

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BetterTimesAhead ( member #70001) posted at 12:19 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

I thought, on SI, that it meant a WS that actually gets it and does everything the BS needs to heal. Maybe it has more than one meaning on here?

Me: BS - 56 Him: WH - 57 DDAY: 2/22/2019 - Three year EA and PA Filed for D 9/2021 - signed the papers 8/2023 - time to rebuild***************An apology without the action to back it up is just manipulation.

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 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 12:22 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

Better, I seen the term "unicorn" thrown around here on SI a least four times and wanted to use the term myself.

Now, after looking up the definition, I personally would never use the term on SI or in my personal life.

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

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KingRat ( member #60678) posted at 12:24 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

It’s used with that connotation in the polyamorous community. It has nothing to do with infidelity.

Unicorn is used to describe a bisexual person (usually though not always female) who is willing to join an existing couple, often with the presumption that this person will date and become sexually involved with both members of that couple, and not demand anything or do anything which might cause problems or inconvenience to that couple.

The unicorn will be the girlfriend to the couple. The couple is usually considered a primary relationship, while the girlfriend will be a secondary partner to both. She isn’t allowed to do anything with one member of the triad, always with both. The dyad, on the other hand, are allowed to date each other without the girlfriend. If the U-Triad doesn’t work, then the dyad will stay together, and the girlfriend will leave. It’s understood that if things don’t work out that she will willingly leave with no issues. Though the dyad may choose to incorporate elements of the girlfriend’s life into the triad, it is not uncommon for the girlfriend to incorporate more of the dyad’s life into her own.

Sometimes the unicorn is expected to not develop any emotional attachment and is strictly there for a sexual relationship (equally distributed to both members of the dyad) and/or is prescripted as a secondary. This term is used as a reminder that bi poly women are people with their own desires, needs, and pre-existing lives, and not fantasy figures or pets.

[This message edited by KingRat at 6:28 PM, November 5th (Tuesday)]

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DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 12:46 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

I think the use of it here is more likening a WS who "gets it" and is a candidate for true R to a mythical creature rarely sighted.

I didn't make that argument, lol, so don't hate me. Just answering the question.

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

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 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 1:26 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

I wonder how people here who have used the word "unicorn" knew that this is one of the meanings of "unicorn".

As evidenced in the 2010s, this unicorn is slang for, usually, a bisexual woman who sleeps with an existing couple composed of a heterosexual male and bisexual woman without the expectation of emotional intimacy. The term implies that such a person is rare—like the unicorn in myth

I wonder if people here will use the word "unicorn " less because of this thread.

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

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 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 1:38 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

true story.

When I was a very young and innocent little girl, I heard the term "asshole" thrown around a lot without knowing what the term meant.

One day, I wrote the term "asshole" on my shoulder using a pen.

My older brother told my mother that I wrote the word "asshole" on my shoulder.

My mother told me what the word "asshole" meant.

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

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sickofsurviving ( member #52308) posted at 1:56 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

Haha! That is hilarious! It's me that uses it. I mean in in the rarity sense. You know? Like the new television show. The Unicorn!

BS-me 54
WH 56
Married 2004

4 DDs 35,30,26,25
Sexting affair with his 1st cousin 2007-2008 maybe
D-Day 8-8-15
Married

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 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 2:16 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

When I was a new member here, I saw the phrase "unicorns and rainbow" used once in a while.

"Unicorns and Rainbows" implied that the WS is living in a fantasy world.

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 8:17 PM, November 5th (Tuesday)]

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

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hansvoleman ( member #55284) posted at 2:44 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

Hi Dorothy

This is one meaning I DID know because a friend told me a couple of years ago.

I was moaning to my friend about my seriously crazy SIL and that she had started an FB and social group for all her female friends (and dragged my wife into it). The name she gave the group was "The Unicorns" because "they are all special". My friend and I still giggle about it. (Childish but I can't help it. )

The best bit of it is we are in our 50s and my friend learned it from his 16 year old daughter!!!!

When you cheat the first person you betray is yourself.

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 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 2:46 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

Hans

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

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ScarredSurviver ( member #71488) posted at 3:57 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

My 9 year old refers to his wiener as his unicorn. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

Still Standing

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sunwillshine ( member #47200) posted at 4:26 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

Wow. I had no idea about the definition you posted. Guess I'm officially old! Like my poor mother when the word gay stopped meaning, light fun and happy and started to be used for sexual orientation.

I recently used it tounge in cheek to describe my fwh. Meaning he is a very rare bird. However, when another poster agreed, I thought, no. In reality a unicorn is a mythical creature that doesn't exist. My fwh certainly does exist. He may be a rare bird. But he does exist.

As for me, I will continue to think of unicorns in the older definition of a mythical creature.

D-day 2/12/15
5 DD (3 his, 2 mine) all grown
married 9/97 together 8/94.
Moved back in 5/30/16 working on R

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Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 5:24 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

I think most people use the word to describe something they desperately want to believe in. They try to ignore the fact that they aren’t real. It would be like wanting your ws to be kind and thoughtful and not the person who cheated.

When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis

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 Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 5:45 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

I entered the words " unicorn slang definition" into the Google search bar and the definition I posted in post # 1 was the definition that showed up as the primary definition.

Last thing on earth I expected was that definition.

So, I just had to share with the forum.

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 12:46 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

Words can have more than one meaning. Here it meant la la land where unicorns farted rainbows and lollipops for the cheating couple. Fantasy. It still works, as far as I'm concerned. Just because some group has misappropriated it for a new meaning doesn't mean previous ones don't stand.

BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 12:56 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

Unicorns aren't real?

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 12:57 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

I think the use of it here is more likening a WS who "gets it" and is a candidate for true R to a mythical creature rarely sighted.

Yes, the point of the term is that, whatever it is, it is a fantasy, not real.

I don't see why the posted definition of a unicorn is so offensive that you now can't use the word. Many words have several meanings.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

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PSTI ( member #53103) posted at 9:00 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2019

Yup. It's why unicorn hunting is so offensive. It's dehumanizing.

My boyfriend is bisexual and has been treated like garbage in the past from couples who have claimed to be poly but instead practice rigid hierarchy and act like he's disposable to their whims.

Really, expecting someone to love two people equally at all times, to fit into the tiny little space they are willing to give up in their lives, and never to have wants and needs of their own is pretty appalling. It's worse than you'd treat a housepet.

[This message edited by PSTI at 3:02 PM, November 6th (Wednesday)]

Me: BW, my xH left me & DS after a 14 year marriage for the AP in 2014.

Happily remarried and in an open/polyamorous relationship. DH (married 5 years) & DBF (dating 4 years). Cohabitating happily all together!! <3

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