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betsy62 posted 11/10/2019 23:59 PM

I am hoping by writing this, I can purge it out, and let it go. (and sleep)
I am not even looking for any responses. I just want to write.
Two years ago, my adult DD had surgery. It was a very major surgery. She now has metal bars in her body. (long story about why, where they are, etc)
Most people who have this surgery do well afterwards. She has not been one of those people.
She has struggled greatly...all while trying to stay away from the narcotic pain meds.
She has not been able to maintain a job. There are days she struggles to get out of bed.
I have been very concerned about her mental health.
She has had some mental health issues, even before this.
I have been supporting her financially...which has been hard.
Last week, her father finally agreed to help her out. Saying he would give her X amount of money the first of every month. And, I would match the amount for her, as the month went on.
That was last week.....today, he verbally attacked her. Saying he never agreed to that(I was there, yes you did) He accused her of being able to work, just choosing not to. That the doctor's told her she should be working(again, I was there, no, they did not)
And, of course, now, he is not going to help her.
She is so hurt (again). And, I am so angry!!
She has 13 more months of this....then the metal bars will be removed.
I told her, look we have made it two years, we will make it another year.
His behavior comes as no surprise to me. I actually was expecting him to back out, saying he did not remember agreeing.
But, stop doing this shit to your child!! Adult or not, she is in need of our help. Asshole!!
Who does this kind of stuff to their own kids??
I don't need an answer to that...I know.
And, this from a man, who, because of his health and disability status, was just given a new garage door, a new furnace, a new central air conditioner unit, a new roof, and an entire landscaping makeover of his yard. Retaining walls and everything.
I am not joking...he got all of that free.
But, he has no charity when it comes to his own child!!!
Unbelievable......
Okay, I am letting it go. I know I have to...

k8la posted 11/11/2019 00:23 AM

This reminds me of a bible story about an evil servant who begged forgiveness of a major debt, and the master forgave, but then that same servant went and demanded immediate payment of a minuscule debt from another person, but when that person begged forgiveness, there was no mercy; the evil servant cast that other person into prison. Others watching saw and reported to the master, who then revoked the generous pardon and threw the evil servant into prison.

That's the way karma works and your x is building up a huge karmic debt to be paid.

BearlyBreathing posted 11/11/2019 01:03 AM

(((Betsy)))

The1stWife posted 11/11/2019 03:08 AM

When your daughter is recovered from all this and able to work again and function, she will remember who stood by her and supported her.

I’m sorry she is suffering. I’m sorry you are having to face this. But think positively that one day this will end and she has a better future ahead of her.

And do not allow her father to pull a stunt like this again. Don’t let your daughter be out in a position of trust with him. Shield her where you can. Protect her from his psycho behavior and cruelty.

He’s a real piece of work!

Dorothy123 posted 11/11/2019 06:44 AM

Many hugs sweet betsy !