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Noticing recurrent behaviors

Emotionalhell posted 11/19/2019 12:42 PM

I said something to wayward in regards to him working on himself and the timeline I have given him. He responded with anger. Of course to deflect and try to put things back on me. This seems to be a cycle of his then it will be followed by doing extra for me like opening doors etc.
So tired of this cycle. Time is running out. And he is to “little” to realize it.
Ugh

But this is how he responds most the time when I mention something followed by love bombing of sorts

[This message edited by Emotionalhell at 12:43 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)]

Chaos posted 11/19/2019 13:10 PM

Anger as manipulation and love bombing to "soften the blow"

What are you going to do to break the cycle [when you are ready]?

devotedman posted 11/19/2019 13:15 PM

People apply the same strategies over and over.

When the strategy fails to work, they often apply it twice as hard to push you back in to line.

cocoplus5nuts posted 11/19/2019 13:55 PM

ITA with Chaos. It's all manipulation.

crazyblindsided posted 11/19/2019 14:03 PM

When the strategy fails to work, they often apply it twice as hard to push you back in to line.

Agree! I started to detach due to my STBX not helping me feel safe or work on himself. This led to him stonewalling, weeks of intermittent silent treatment, and withdraw from the M. Of course when I finally asked for a separation the lovebombing went into effect again. Since I'm mostly NC he will ignore then try to be happy in front of me & kids and engage me in conversations.

Once I recognized the cycle I knew I had to do something. I felt like I was dying a slow death or I was going to die if I stayed.

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 2:17 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)]

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