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Online dating update

Myname posted 11/29/2019 15:46 PM

I very hesitantly signed up on match at the beginning of the month. I paid a few bucks extra to keep my profile private. Only people I contact could see me.

I messaged a few women but either got no response or though a brief conversation could see that it was not going to work.

One lady I messaged and we hit off right away. We messaged for a few days and I asked her to dinner. She agreed. Before the date we switched off the app and began texting. Still very easy conversations. We had a lot in common. We talked on the phone before we actually met in person and managed an hour long conversation. We had dinner and ended up spending 3 or 4 hours at the restaurant.

Long story short we've been on several dates since and talk on the phone several nights a week. Conversation is very easy between us. We have a lot of similar interests but also plenty of differences to make things interesting.

The hardest part for me in getting back to dating was having to tell someone about my self harm scars. I had decided before I got into any of this that I would tell someone when I thought that there was a real possibility of a lasting relationship and when I or she were at the beginning stages of developing feelings. I didn't want to hide it from someone for so long that strong feelings were there and then I sprung that on them.

So the other day we sat down and I told her. Much to my relief it didn't bother her at all.

It's been fun getting to know each other. It doesn't hurt that she is drop dead gorgeous. I feel like I lucked out a little on match by finding someone so quickly and, at least in the beginning stages, seems to be working out.

Still walking through this with eyes wide open. I foolishly ignored some glaringly obvious red flags in my last relationship. I won't this time.

landclark posted 11/29/2019 17:36 PM

Thatís so awesome! It must be have been such a relief for you to get it out and have her accept it. I hope it continues to go well for you.

Chrysalis123 posted 11/29/2019 18:15 PM

Way to go MyName!! Good on you for applying what you learned last time and your courage in sharing about your scars.

WhoTheBleep posted 11/29/2019 19:58 PM

Great update! Sounds like you are handling everything well. Bravo for your candor. Keep us posted.

PS: I got lucky early on OLD as well. SO "liked" me the first day I was on. Once I tweaked my profile (as in put some effort into it) 2 weeks later, he messaged me. I responded a day or 2 later, had our first date 2-3 days after that, and we've been together ever since. 7 months now. And I'm the girl who didn't believe in OLD, haha.

This lady sounds promising. I'm excited for you!!

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 7:58 PM, November 29th (Friday)]

little turtle posted 12/3/2019 12:29 PM

I'm so happy for you!! This is very exciting.

WornDown posted 12/3/2019 14:37 PM

Great update!

Good luck!

rebplay posted 12/3/2019 17:55 PM

Wow! Some great news! That was so positive reading about good dates, new beginnings and openness in a brand new relationship. Happy for you!

EvenKeel posted 12/4/2019 07:27 AM

Hi Myname!

OLD is hard but I know it was extra hard for you to make that leap. I am so glad you were open to it.

I agree with you telling her early on. I have a skin disease that could visually put-off some people. I decided early on to let them know that way it would save us both time and trouble if it was not something they could deal with.
You did the right thing.

Does she have education/experience regarding self-harm?

Good luck in your new dating adventures. These early stages are such a fun time - enjoy them!!!

Myname posted 12/7/2019 11:55 AM

Thank you everyone.

It's been a long road for me so glad to be on the other side of things.

Does she have education/experience regarding self-harm?


She cut some when she was a teen. I'm definitely more bothered by my scars than she is.

It's kind of crazy. The more I've gotten to know her the more I've found that we've had a lot of similar life experiences. Both good and bad stuff.

heartbroken_kk posted 12/8/2019 21:08 PM

This is really fantastic news Myname, I think the most profound part of it is that you were able to open up to her about your scars. That says a lot about your healing path lately. Good for you.

I wish you the best with this relationship.

If you find flags popping up try to stay calm and give both options thought - disengage for a while, or stay connected, while you try to learn what those flags might mean to you.

We all have our issues.

CaliforniaNative posted 12/12/2019 20:50 PM


PS: I got lucky early on OLD as well. SO "liked" me the first day I was on. Once I tweaked my profile (as in put some effort into it) 2 weeks later, he messaged me. I responded a day or 2 later, had our first date 2-3 days after that, and we've been together ever since. 7 months now. And I'm the girl who didn't believe in OLD


Haha I remember that post when you first started OLD. You hated it! Just wanted to say I am still seeing the first man I was interested in using OLD... itís been 9 months now.

WhoTheBleep posted 12/12/2019 20:59 PM

Slight T/J

Haha I remember that post when you first started OLD. You hated it! Just wanted to say I am still seeing the first man I was interested in using OLD... itís been 9 months now.

CN, you were my dating hero. I used to read your posts with earnest, trying to learn all I could. I'm very happy for you! You deserve it!

I think the universe knew I didn't have your stomach for it and sent me a good one quick, haha.

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