SO. My ex husband is "dating" my boyfriend's ex-wife. For those who might remember, my ex was named "GENIUS" here for a long time.
Background: In 2011, I discovered my ex's secret email account, more than 2,000 pages documenting an incredibly dangerous and deviant double life: BDSM, group sex, sex with all genders and ages, sex with strangers in empty apartments, and an affair partner who worked for the Department of Justice with national security clearance, etc. I was clueless.
Genius is a sociopath, a diagnosed NPD, and a diagnosed sex addict. When I started divorcing him, he made my life a living hell for three years. We ended up in a 3 day-divorce trial and I had us do a 6-month child custody evaluation that ultimately recommended no overnights for genius. The judge disagreed about that because we just couldn't prove anything had happened YET to our children in his care. But he gave me legal tiebreaker and primary physical custody. He gave Genius visitation one weekday night and every other weekend.
Separation 2011, divorce was end of 2014. During that time, Genius stole from me, threw me across a room, broke into my house and forwarded himself emails from my personal computer and email account, made up wild lies about me, locked me and my daughter out of the house in the winter with no coats, fought me and my attorneys on every front, accused me of using an illegal key logger to get to the 2000 pages, etc. etc.
I never called the police. I was a coward. But I started to heal, with a lot of help from family, my community of friends, this site, and therapists.
In 2017 a friend introduced me to a wonderful man and we have been dating quietly since. He's met my children, who are now young teens, but he still doesn't sleep over with kids there (nothing wrong with it, but we've chosen to be very conservative because of situation). And he has his own, older teens.
I just found out that Genius IS DATING MY BOYFRIEND'S EX. SECRETLY, FOR SEVERAL MONTHS.
Jerry Springer material, of course.
But worse. He is not interested in her. He has been dating her for months, but just matched on Tinder with a friend of mine a week ago. He was active on Match until a few days ago when her children came home from college. He has spent every day and night with her and them. She just inherited a a LOT of money and now has a new house with pool and hot tub - in the city. Genius, sex addict, was in the hot tub with my boyfriend's college daughter and her bikini-clad friends.
Genius is a sociopath. I don't know his end plan, I don't know if he is dating her only to hurt me, or to get his hands on her money - trust me, this is what he does.
I am out of words. I'm basically on the floor. Genius is destroying my life, my peace of mind, my sense of safety. What the hell do I do?
PS: my boyfriend and I have said nothing - except he told his ex that genius is a "bad guy" and please not to allow him to be alone with their kids. She came back with some garbage about him being jealous of her happiness, etc. etc. At that point, he didn't add more. I guess the next step would be to let her learn on her own. She actually said that I am "ridiculously adversarial towards my ex."
I was abused and lied to. It's painful to hear this. I thought I had moved past my ex and the abuse and cheating. Now my boyfriend's kids - and my own kids - will be dragged into this
Okay, I'm done. If anyone is still reading, thank you.