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Where is the agreement thread?

Bleu posted 12/4/2019 18:44 PM

I am drafting my divorce agreement right now. I thought I could search for the divorce agreement thread but it looks like I can't.

Could someone bump it up for me? There were great suggestions and I don't want to miss anything!

TrustedHer posted 12/5/2019 06:38 AM

I don't know about any agreement thread and I couldn't find one by searching google, but there are divorce articles in the Healing Library.

Here's a link to one of them:
https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/healing_library/divorce/process.asp

Bleu posted 12/5/2019 06:41 AM

Thank you, TrustedHer!

Bleu posted 12/5/2019 06:52 AM

The article is very good and sensible. I find that I have to do an end run on some items since my STBXWH is not reasonable.

One example is the insurance policy. If he is the primary beneficiary and the children are secondary beneficiaries, he will likely fund his life with the girlfriend and her children.

So, I'm thinking of a trust with the funds going directly there. That way the trustee and Court have oversight for the funds.

Sigh.

WhoTheBleep posted 12/5/2019 07:42 AM

Bleu, I had a lawyer create a trust for my kids, and redo my will. Only cost $750. Totally worth the peace of mind.

The1stWife posted 12/6/2019 15:16 PM

Depending upon your state life insurance is tricky.

I redid all insurance policies so I was the account holder and he is the insured. Me & kids are beneficiaries. You can have wording in the divorce decree (if allowed in your state) that you remain the beneficiary with your kids or you alone.

Google divorce and life insurance beneficiary.

There was a case that the XW was still the beneficiary in the insurance when the XH passed. Due to some legal issues the 2nd wife inherited the policy NOT the named XW.

Bleu posted 12/7/2019 06:29 AM

WhotheBleep,
That is a perfectly reasonable price for will and trust. Thank you for putting that out there.

The1stWife,
Where is my head? I was too busy celebrating the first draft of the agreement. Thank you.

Muggle posted 12/9/2019 21:55 PM

One example is the insurance policy. If he is the primary beneficiary and the children are secondary beneficiaries, he will likely fund his life with the girlfriend and her children.

So, I'm thinking of a trust with the funds going directly there. That way the trustee and Court have oversight for the funds.

He changed his policy to his 14 day bride, exactly 6 weeks after they were married. He excluded all of our children and split it between his adult daughter and his new wife.

He has since claimed he has amended the document but won't show it to any of his kids. You must protect yourself and your children.

I was awarded a settlement plus child support, and college support in my divorce. I forced him to get a separate life insurance policy with me as beneficiary until all his financial obligations to me were fulfilled. I didn't want a legal battle with his wife over a policy payout.

He was livid, but if something happens I know our children will continue to receive what was owed to me, and to them. Remember to also change your power of attorney for medical decisions.

I would consider making anyone but him the policy holder if you also have insurance. Make it a trust, with someone else being the decision maker. Make the trust pay out when they are 25 or older, to insure they will likely make solid decisions with the money. Copies to EVERYONE you trust. Make a special folder with all the documents they would need, so nothing is missed, and the insurance will not be able to avoid paying.

I added instructions to mine, so if the worst happened, they would know exactly what to do, who to contact, and what paperwork to send. I also made sure to add them to my bank account in case of death, and gave a key to my safety deposit box to my oldest. A will does NOT cover a safety deposit box. IF you don't have the KEY and aren't a signer on it, then the box and contents will NOT end up in their hands.

Bleu posted 12/9/2019 22:15 PM

Excellent advice. Thank you.

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