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Could really use some good thoughts

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tushnurse posted 12/13/2019 14:45 PM

That's a great combo of meds, and nothing that is really addictive.
I am a firm believer in PreHab - strengthening your core will definitely help with your recovery.

(((And Healing)))

TheCaterpillar posted 12/13/2019 16:06 PM

I don't have any advice, just putting some positive mojo out there for you

Notthevictem posted 12/13/2019 16:42 PM

Back straight and chin up adlam!

PricklePatch posted 12/13/2019 22:06 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

ZenMumWalking posted 12/14/2019 05:35 AM

More MOJO and positive, healing thoughts coming your way.

((((Adlham & spine))))

thebighurt posted 12/14/2019 07:05 AM

Special SI Mojo, positive thoughts and gentle hugs coming to you. Pre-hab is a great idea.

WalkinOnEggshelz posted 12/14/2019 07:42 AM

Just curious if you have had any problems with your hips or have had them checked out. I just had a patient that has been through multiple back surgeries that fail because it was actually her hip that was failing her. She had a hip replacement and her back pain improved tenfold now that she has good alignment.

Just a thought if this is a recurring issue for you.

Hutch posted 12/14/2019 07:55 AM


Just sending a big hug and many prayers that you find a top surgeon and your procedure is a success.

I completely understand all of your emotions. I had a spinal fusion with Harrington rods when I was 20. Iím now 45. I had scoliosis that progressed quickly. Other than the very top and very bottom, Iím fused in the rest of my spine. That surgery was the most painful experience of my life. I remember being in the hospital crying out for help and to make it stop. It made me have such a high tolerance for pain that me 2 c-sections did not compare. I understand the fear, apprehension, and dread youíre feeling.

Finding a great surgeon is key as you know. Iíve always said this...I donít care if youíre not the friendliest of docs, if youíre a specialist in your field, top in your field, and can execute the procedure correctly giving the best long-term results, you can walk around on all 4ís barking like a dog. I donít care as long as youíre standing there in the OR being the best at your job when itís time for that surgery.

I hope your new doc is a great one and they get you back to a better quality of life. Because that is ultimately what itís all about. The medical field, as you know being a nurse is always showing advancements. Get back to living the best you can with good quality.

Now off in a 5 mile hike with a new hiking group. Youíll get here too!

Thinking of you. 💜

[This message edited by Hutch at 8:00 AM, December 14th (Saturday)]

Adlham posted 12/14/2019 09:30 AM

TushNurse, prednisone is a god send! I do have a small amount of Norco for the really bad days, but I use sparingly so that I can get effective pain control after surgery!

It was awesome to wake up feeling great!

WOEZ part of the problem is that I have a pars deformity. It's a part of the vertebra that is important for stabilization. But funny you should ask! Years ago, I was in a car wreck and lost the cartilage in my right ankle. Even with surgery, it's never been the same and has always been a source of chronic mild pain. I have mentioned that to my surgeons as I wondered if the compensating had contributed to the wear and tear at such a young age. I had my first surgery when I was 39. I also broke my tailbone at 15 dancing (ok, moshing) at a punk show lol. The consensus, so far, has been that neither of those things were the cause.

But I will definitely ask again!

Hutch, I totally feel every single word you wrote! I actually kind of like the arrogant surgeons I've had. It's comforting to me and I see it as confidence rather than arrogance! I don't care about bedside manner, as long as they treat their staff well and know what they're doing! I'm also very heartened to hear how well your are doing. I needed some inspiration!

NTV- no fart joke? I'm a little disappointed LOL

PP, BigHurt, Cat, and Zen, thank you. I'm slowly coming to terms. It's upsetting still, but I will be ok and get through it!

Have I mentioned how much prednisone is an absolute God send? I wish I could just take it forever and skip surgery, but it's just not an option. So I'm taking full advantage of these 5 days and enjoy being able to get out of bed and not have to spend half the day lying down to get that stupid bone to slip back into a place that isn't making my legs numb!

Edited a typo.

[This message edited by Adlham at 9:31 AM, December 14th (Saturday)]

Adlham posted 1/8/2020 21:15 PM

You know what is really super annoying?

When that bone slips in just the right way to trigger saddle numbness.

(For those of you not in healthcare, think about sitting on a saddle. All the areas touching the saddle go numb.)

It's such an unpleasant feeling. It doesn't hurt. It just feels wrong. It's very disconcerting. If it was enjoyable, I could probably go along with it. But it doesn't.

I'm meeting the new surgeon on Friday, so I'm traveling tomorrow because I just "had" to move back to the sticks. I did some research and I feel pretty good about him. And it's ok that he's probably not going to be as attentive as the last one. He also teaches med school in his field, so I feel confident.

Also, the surgery will be held where I graduated from nursing school, so maybe I will get a little extra care because I'm a potential donor for my Alma Mater LOL

I'm just stressed. It's winter. Of course, up until this week, we've had unseasonably warm weather. But the minute I have to travel 250 freaking miles, it just has to snow.

I did get a toradol shot today to help, though, so maybe it won't be too bad. And I've got 3 different gatherings lined up to go to, plus a few old friends, and going to see JoJo Rabbit with my oldest.

Don't mind me. I always quietly freak out before I have to travel.

tushnurse posted 1/8/2020 21:35 PM

((((And strength and healing and good pain managment))))

tushnurse posted 1/8/2020 21:35 PM

((((And strength and healing and good pain managment))))

Adlham posted 1/12/2020 09:23 AM

Thanks, TushNurse!

Ok, well first the good news! He's the TOP neurosurgeon in Oregon. He's super nice and compassionate as evidenced by how understanding he was when I broke down. Also, because it's winter, I need to wait til March and he asked if I felt I could wait that long.

Oh and he uses donor bone, THANK GOD. My harvest site from the last one still hurts and was worse than healing from the surgery.

The bad news is that there is no other option. I have to have surgery. He's going to do some research and decide whether or not to take it clear up to T10. I kind of hope he does. I will gladly give up any range of motion in my lumbar spine if it means it will decrease the need for more in the future.

And we had to get a room 50 miles from home last night because of the weather. 8 crashes throughout the evening. We waited for 3 hours and at about 830pm, I decided it would be safer to get a room and wait til morning. I much prefer navigating ice and snow in the daylight!

So, tentatively, March 4th is the day. I'm hoping my insurance isn't the pain in the ass it was last time, but I'm not confident on that front. I am, however, fully ready to fight them and win, just like last time!

Now off to wake my oldest up so we can go home. I need a hot bath with a lot of Epsom salt!

ZenMumWalking posted 1/12/2020 11:53 AM

Sending MOJO!!!!

sisoon posted 1/12/2020 12:01 PM

Sending mojo.

Lionne posted 1/12/2020 18:00 PM

I'm so sorry. Back issues are awful, and yep, your admirable career choice probably contributes.
I hope you feel better soon!

Adlham posted 1/31/2020 23:14 PM

Honest to god, if my insurance company gives me any shit, I am goong to freak out. Violently and all over tbe place.

My neurologist wants me to use a cane. And apply for disability.

I am 48 fucking years old.

Not coping well. Not enough drugs because these irresponsible assholes had to go and give us chronoc folks a bad name.

Hopefully, the trigger point injections next week will curb my homicidal rage.

Its so painful. I cant sleep, I can't eat, it takes 3 hours in the morning before I can walk without wanting to kill something.

Dont mind me. Im just venting. I really hurt. And I am really just fucking over it. If my kids were all grown, I would just check the fuck out.

Notthevictem posted 2/1/2020 11:59 AM

Familiar with intense recurring physical pain. Canes aren't so bad. You could get a hidden sword cane to help with your morning murder thing.

Justsomelady posted 2/1/2020 12:24 PM

Iím so sorry for all the pain and troubles you are going through! I am sending many good thoughts your way.

[This message edited by Justsomelady at 12:25 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]

Adlham posted 2/1/2020 13:26 PM

NTV, leave it to you to encourage more bad behavior LOL

Seriously though, that made me laugh. I'm going to get a cane and pretend it had a sword because that will make me happy!

JustSomeLady, thank you. I'm having a moment of weakness where I just want to give up. It happens. I will get through it because I always do.

It helps me to just vent. They did put me back on antidepressants, so thats a good thing. And if I feel like I'm going over the edge, I will go to the ER.

Its just so exhausting. I'm having a hard time being nice to anyone and thats not fair. I feel bad when I get snippy, but I can't help it. I'm so tired because sleeping sucks and the pain is pretty intense and nothing takes the edge off.

Getting old just sucks.

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