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Divorce granted

Echo86 posted 12/20/2019 21:48 PM

Divorce was granted today. Uncontested so it was very quick. I got the email at work and started crying. Was looking forward to ripping off the bandaid but itís now off and it stings.

Thereís a lot of unfinished business between us. Have made several attempts to cut him off but have failed miserably. I fall for it every time... the tears, the words, the ďlove.Ē Letting go legally was easier than letting go emotionally. I have a lot of work to do still.

Damn it, this is so hard. A year and a week separated and itís not much easier today.

Iím going into 2020 officially divorced, starting a new job, 65 lbs lighter than I was last year... ooh wee I hope this year is a good one.

Wishing everyone in this forum love and strength to become better and to move forward one day at a time.

Hutch posted 12/20/2019 21:56 PM

I know my words do not help a lot in this moment but I want you to know I'm thinking of you and sending a hug. Try to get some sleep and don't forget, tomorrow is a new day with new beginnings. I hope it's a better day and that everyday after is a better one then the previous.

EllieKMAS posted 12/20/2019 22:05 PM

Mine was granted a week ago. I feel ya. It's fuckin weird yeah?

I hope your new year is a new lease on life for you!

Sending you hugs Echo!

The1stWife posted 12/21/2019 05:30 AM

May Your new life e filled with joy and happiness and peace.

rebplay posted 12/21/2019 06:51 AM

Echo- Iím so sorry. It tears at the soul. I pray you find peace and happiness. I wish I had good advice but I donít. But I have well wishes and good thoughts for you.

BearlyBreathing posted 12/21/2019 07:07 AM

Head and heart are like some stupid word problem where one is going 15 mph and the other going 53 mph..... but eventually they catch up. Itís sad and good to be free- your pain sounds normal, unfortunately. Sending hugs and wishes for an amazing 2020 for us all.

Cue the 2020 hindsight comments now...

northeasternarea posted 12/21/2019 12:46 PM

May the rest of your life be the best of your life.

phmh posted 12/21/2019 16:54 PM

Echo, looking at your sig line, that could have been me! At D-Day I was 33 and we had no kids together - had been together 13 years (though most of them married). So I almost feel like I'm talking to past me! I remember thinking at the time that I wanted a crystal ball, to know that everything was going to be ok. So here I am with a chance to be that crystal ball for you!

You've got this! You are so lucky that you didn't have kids with the cheater, which means that you can go full NC and heal so much faster than if you have to maintain contact. Right now, the thought of him being out of your life forever is devastating, but in time, you will realize it is one of the greatest gifts. You've survived breakups in the past, with only occasional thoughts about what those XBFs are doing (granted, none of them were that serious, but you have a track record of surviving!)

You will go on dates, and if you go in with the right mindset, you will have fun! You will discover/rediscover interests. You will make friends that are so incredible, you'll wonder how you ever survived without them. You will find wild success in your job, now that you can focus on yourself and what you want. And in time, should you want to, you will find an incredible partner who treats you better than your WXH ever did.

My BF and I have had conversations about how happy we are for our past experiences. They've turned us into the people we are today.

The first few months, years, are tougher than they should be. But before you know it, you will be 41 and happier than you've ever been in your life! Keep going - feel your feelings; acknowledge them, and realize they are fleeting.

Sending lots of healing love your way!!!

Echo86 posted 12/22/2019 13:02 PM

❤️❤️❤️thank you all

Newbeginnings24 posted 12/24/2019 08:42 AM

Echo86 Iím sorry to hear that you have found the D and emotionally disconnecting from your WH to be unbearable at times. Youíve got this girl. In the not too distant future you will thank the early Christmas present you have had, you just canít see it yet. You are also incredibly lucky to have no children with WH. Keep focusing on yourself and make sure all your friends and family are aware of what role they play in your recovery. Itís nice to find you again but I also think it is extremely important to have people who love us around to catch you when you fall.

I have also been granted D this week and have been able to emotionally disconnect from its meaning. It meant so much when I was married and I never removed my rings, but now I have just replaced this previous dedication to thinking its a piece of paper. One that officially says I am no longer attached to the idiot anymore and I am free to flourish, whilst he watches. I am fortunate to have an amazing DD but I will always have that connection with him, which brings its own challenges.

Do all the small things that bring you happiness at this time and keep going. Like itís been said before, youíve got survival in you. This one was sent to you in a bigger form because you are strong enough to fight it.

NB x

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