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woodlandlost posted 12/21/2019 16:45 PM

I am so hurting right now. Grieving, whatever you want to call it. My daughter is home and we leave for her piano recital in 15 minutes and tgought I would smash out a post here as I am building with sadness by the second. We dropped WW off at rehab yesterday. I am so sad right now...I am sure a lot of us hurt a little extra at this time of year.

Hallmack posted 12/21/2019 17:52 PM

Very much feeing the pain. Christmas was never really my favorite holiday in to begin with but now it’s so closely tied to affair season for me. I keep thinking about the way my wife was treating me at this time last year and it makes me so sad. She just started her winter break from work and she used her winter break to go on her first trip to go see AP last year. She left the day after Xmas. I keep thinking about how she insisted I not go even though I took time off work. Told me she needed time to think about our marriage problems. Little did I know that all the marriage problems were a manifestation of the affair. This affair broke my heart and it’s the gift that keeps on giving because it keeps breaking my heart every day. It just hurts so much that she thought she deserved to have an affair. That she felt so unhappy with our marriage that she was completely ok with dating another man and having sex with him and blaming me for all of our problems.

EllieKMAS posted 12/21/2019 17:58 PM

Just take care of yourselves and don't feel like you have to be festive or whatever. Christmas is really hard, so just get through it the best you can!!

Sending hugs!

woodlandlost posted 12/21/2019 20:31 PM

Hallmack

Damn. Same...to the day. My Daughter's piano recital...she as with that loser OM.

Makes me sick.

Here if you want to vent.

3greatkids posted 12/21/2019 21:03 PM

Christmas, anniversary, multiple affair seasons. It’s brutal and I hope I don’t wake up Christmas Day when cheating POS has the kids.

I’m so f ing tired of “surviving” infidelity.

3rdstrike posted 12/22/2019 05:33 AM

Yep! My WW started screwing her affair partner around Thanksgiving and treated me like like I was less than human during the holidays. I used to love Thanksgiving and Christmas. She took a big old sh!t on all of that. I know it's not going to be easy but I'm anticipating the D paperwork with positivity for my future.

nervousnelly posted 12/22/2019 11:20 AM

I am so sorry...hugs to you.

This season stinks for many reasons. I began to suspect around this time 3 seasons ago. This season has been hard ever since. He was distant and nasty which sending her thousands of texts all day and night, conversations on the phone when I wasn't around and probably meeting up while I was at work. I have a hard time feeling "jolly". Thank goodness my children are all grown now...don't have to really fake the "spirit".

We are here for you.

cptprkchp posted 12/24/2019 13:03 PM

Hello Woodland!!

I decided to stop in to see how you were doing as I remember your wife went to rehab 12/20. I imagine this is a shitty Christmas for you & your daughter but I just want to remind you that all that you are feeling is normal and you are handling it the best way you know how! Just for the next 24 or so hours count your blessings instead of your problems and give your daughter the best Christmas you possibly can - she will remember this.

Best wishes to you!!

PS - I just realized I assumed that you celebrate xmas - if I am wrong I certainly apologize!!

Nolife posted 12/25/2019 18:28 PM

40 years of messed up Christmas due to lying while separated then back together to finding out he lied for 38 years. So all Christmas are messed up now.

Williesmom posted 12/25/2019 21:12 PM

My sadness is related to the fact that my dad passed away 2 months ago. Tonight was really hard.

Hang in there, everyone.

20yrsagoBS posted 12/25/2019 21:31 PM

I’m sorry you’re feeling blue this season.

That Karma bus sure takes it sweet time, but it does eventually swing by

(((Hugs)))

woodlandlost posted 12/27/2019 12:41 PM

Hi All,

Well made it through. Not without a few bumps for me. Took DD to see her mom and the rehab program she is in has an open door policy so WW can come and go from 1pm-10pm. She seems to be doing well, they do alcohol testing everyday. My daughter was happy to be with her mom. We went for a walk, and then swimming and went for some chinese food.

That evening my DD was hit the wall. She cried in my arms, so sad that mama wasn't with us...that she would give away everything just to have mama home. I just held her. There was nothing more I could do. Ugh.

Back at home now and life goes on...but still I am in a blurr. Seeing her really makes it hard for me to do what I need to do. I want to feel good about myself again so that if thungs go sideways I am better able to manage the storm.