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Well, I survived

landclark posted 12/25/2019 22:16 PM

I made it through my first Christmas post dday. I definitely had my sad moments, but only one breakdown yesterday morning (over something unrelated). Things were better after that.

I feel like this year has been a blur. I feel like Iím neglecting my son. I feel like I wonít be able to reconcile after ten years of lies.

But, I made it through Christmas, and thatís something....

4yearsoflies posted 12/25/2019 22:26 PM

Congratulations! Every victory is a step towards your healing... whatever that looks like for you. I wish you all the best as you continue to work your way through the mess that was not created or made by you.

I understand. I had four years in the dark. I understand. It can get better.

Take care of yourself and your child. YOU are so important.

Weíre all survivors!

Dragonfly123 posted 12/26/2019 02:29 AM

Landclark well done you!!! You rocked it! One breakdown is good going!

Now youíre over the worst day, try to enjoy some holiday spirit with your boy!

Youíre doing brilliantly, you matter!

The1stWife posted 12/26/2019 02:59 AM

So what are your plans for the future? What are your next steps?

Atg100 posted 12/26/2019 03:22 AM

Well done.
Itís not easy and we all here know what it means

J707 posted 12/26/2019 07:29 AM

Good Job! I had your thoughts last year during Christmas. I was alone, by myself without my kids for the first time ever. I woke up Christmas morning not having my kids or playing Santa. I remember staring at the wall with all the emotions just numb, screaming fuck you to the world, but I made it through to the next day.

Now a year later, let me tell you it does get better. The pain is less. The emotions aren't as intense. I have my kids here with me and my heart is whole again. You can and will survive this, we all are. The thing I love about SI is we all know the pain and suffering that comes from infidelity. You are not alone and we are here for you. Sometimes it's one day at a time. Day after day and ya know what, it's a year later. Which ever way you decide to go in your life, we'll be here you!

PSTI posted 12/27/2019 20:38 PM

I remember my first Christmas was a blur. ExH had left 3 days before, leaving me with a 5 year old. I think- do you realize I'm actually doing math because it's that blurry that I can't remember the number of days? It's insane.

It was so hard to grit my teeth and put on that fake smile and keep going for DS.

But you made it, and it will get better. One day at a time, just keep going and you'll figure out what is right for you.

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