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Christmas Eve D-Day

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heartbrokeninNC posted 1/18/2020 22:15 PM

That idiotic mindf##k from last week made me stumble until it was pointed out. Let my heart get in the way. Also reading these Messenger posts between toxic BFF and my wife convinced me that this was no laughing matter (not laughing then).

This tryst this weekend has left me more hurt and betrayed but turning that into something positive and getting everything set up to come out on top. Bound and determined not to let this depress me because it is not my fault nor will it ever be.

She f##k'd with the wrong person and actually thought I would rug sweep this. Is she ever wrong about that. I've got the texts with the d##k pix that I didn't want to see and the messenger chats with BFF laying out the whole timeline of the affair.

So f##k her!!!!!!!!!!

Beachwalker posted 1/18/2020 22:29 PM

HB: You have good momentum! Keep rolliní!!

In my state, there is an alternative to Divorce Ė Dissolution. IF both parties can act like adults and can work out all the money flow issues, custody, child support, alimony, who gets the house, everything, then you can be done in 90 days. If you see a lawyer and learn what would happen in a D, you can write the Dissolution to state the same thing. But if she goes for D, remind her that you will go for even more, and in the course of presenting evidence, EVERYTHING you have will become public information. You might think of using the Dissolution as a means of getting things over with sooner, and it would be much cheaper. If she agrees, you can say the pictures, emails, text messages, financial records, etc. would all go into a file and the kids donít get to see them until they reach 21 (or whatever you want to say). Just a thought.

We are on your side!!

thatbpguy posted 1/18/2020 22:30 PM

Stay focused. Make sure you do nothing out of anger or revenge. Just be cool, cold and right.

One thing I would do is send to her bff the evidence of your wife cheating with the bff husband. Sort of like, "hey, I am so sorry to let you know this, but...".

Sort of like sleeping with the enemy.

Marz posted 1/18/2020 22:51 PM

Yes, do not let your anger guide you.

Cool, calm and collected.

Laser focus on your goals.

heartbrokeninNC posted 1/18/2020 23:06 PM

One thing I would do is send to her bff the evidence of your wife cheating with the bff husband. Sort of like, "hey, I am so sorry to let you know this, but..."

The BFF is a 60yo single party girl who has no SO. She is a whore to say the least. She is the one who is cheerleading my WW on. W was doing this as she was trying to pick up guys and stated that she was self destructing it (conscience getting in the way) and the BFF was giving her tips on how to get around it.

Newlifeisgreat posted 1/18/2020 23:28 PM

When do you talk to a lawyer ?

Newlifeisgreat posted 1/18/2020 23:29 PM

Should you pack her stuff up in garbage bags and leave them outside for when she returns?

Stay strong! Rely on your friends.

heartbrokeninNC posted 1/18/2020 23:47 PM

When do you talk to a lawyer ?

This week hopefully, I've got an email out to shark right now. Thankfully, my company has an Employee Assistance Program.

Marz posted 1/18/2020 23:57 PM

Attorney is crucial because the knowledge will bring you more power and control.

Sounds like youíre on your way out of this.

Stay focused.

heartbrokeninNC posted 1/19/2020 00:03 AM

Going to pick up a VAR tommorrow. This will be placed in the car because that is when she talks with OM in the morning. Also have bank statements going back 3 years because in 2017 & 2018 she spent the equivalent GDP of a small country on her online casino game.

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 12:05 AM, January 19th (Sunday)]

Marz posted 1/19/2020 00:03 AM

Iíd run the alienation of affection law against the BFF through your attorney as well. Not sure if it applies but it wouldnít hurt to ask.

The thing about D is it normally lowers the standard of life for both parties so youíre gonna need all the financial advantage you can get.

Keep that in mind.

Marz posted 1/19/2020 00:05 AM

Pay cash for the VAR so itís not traceable to you just in case.

Donít ever reveal any of your sources of information

heartbrokeninNC posted 1/19/2020 00:11 AM

Iíd run the alienation of affection law against the BFF through your attorney as well.

This woman was acting as her conscience and W would consult her and would give her the positive affirmation. W has very low self esteem. Reading the messenger chats made my headspin. I will not reveal that I've read them or screenshotted them.

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 12:13 AM, January 19th (Sunday)]

heartbrokeninNC posted 1/19/2020 00:15 AM

Where is the best place to put the VAR?

Marz posted 1/19/2020 00:26 AM

Best Buy, Walmart......

Sony makes a good one. Google the ratings. Get good batteries and youíll need Velcro to secure it in place.

Read the instructions well so it doesnít give off sounds when in record mode.

You might be better off to get 2 so you can switch them out

[This message edited by Marz at 12:27 AM, January 19th (Sunday)]

heartbrokeninNC posted 1/19/2020 00:34 AM

Sony makes a good one.

Those are the ones I was looking at. Where is the best place inside the vehicle to put it?

Also coworker let me borrow her lavalier lapel mike for a phone so i could hide that in the bedroom.

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 12:37 AM, January 19th (Sunday)]

DeWittle posted 1/19/2020 00:36 AM

Check your PMs.

Marz posted 1/19/2020 00:38 AM

Velcro it under the seat or dash where itís not visible.

ShutterHappy posted 1/19/2020 04:46 AM

Where is the best place to put the VAR?

Put one on yourself, when your WW is around, for protection.

NoOptTo posted 1/19/2020 06:47 AM

Keep a VAR on you at all times upon her return. The last thing you need is her to make a false DV, domestic violence charge on you.

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