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Christmas Eve D-Day

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fareast posted 2/4/2020 07:08 AM

Keep your eye on the prize for you and your children. As long as she is still communicating with the OM she is still in the A. She is destroying her own life. Take care of you and your kids. A hard 180. File for D as soon as financially feasible.

heartbrokeninNC posted 2/4/2020 08:08 AM

Yeah she is still in the A for the foreseeable future. WW is still trying to blameshift for the A .

Hg65 posted 2/4/2020 08:43 AM

I predict your wife is going to come out of her fog with a hard thud!

Once the new car smell wears off of her affair, and she sees you are no longer interested and are moving on, she could really spin out.

It sucks when reality hits those waywards right between the eyes.

heartbrokeninNC posted 2/4/2020 08:53 AM

I predict your wife is going to come out of her fog with a hard thud!

I'm seeing that also, EA started on 9/23 and went PA on 10/11. This is a text book limerence affair that is stuck in phase 2 but the POSOM has attachment issues and worried that when she comes out I have to deal with a stalker.

They are planning another tryst again for the springtime.

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 9:19 AM, February 4th (Tuesday)]

PassThis posted 2/4/2020 11:10 AM

They are planning another tryst again for the springtime.

I am just plain sad for this development, but not really surprised. This is just another spit in your face by an ogre.

I suggest that you take the 180 from cold, steel arctic zone to 0 degree Kelvin. Absolutely, serve her as soon as you can. Go no contact with her (do not answer phone calls, do not respond to text msgs/emails, do not respond to her at all. Give her gas money to go to OM, permanently. Lean on you buddies, stay out of her presence, spend as much time as you can with your children.

Let her contemplate OM's issues with his family and that, while she is 100% available to him, he is not reciprocating. She should be concerned that he is not galloping to her on a white house to claim his object of lust and desire.

Unless she has a miraculous revelation of her egregious betrayals and spiteful behavior, I just don't see any other path for you than you and your children leaving her in your rear mirror. Whoever it was that you married is no longer occupying her former body. If (really big if) she somehow begs for R, see the divorce through and tell her that if she shows you by her actions over a long term that she is worthy, you might consider remarriage (with a pre-nup). But, from what I read here, she is gone. It seems that all that is left for you to do is to turn off the lights. I think you know that.

You should work on being totally indifferent to her, and anything relating to her. You should not care if she has someone to cushion her fall. You will be way better off without her, no matter what else.

Sending strength and support.

heartbrokeninNC posted 2/4/2020 11:31 AM

Have to hold out on the 180 till I get from my trip this weekend with WW and DD. Heading out of town on Thursday with her to go see my Eldest DD Boot Camp graduation.

As for the betrayals she doesn't really care and blameshifts for the A (her fault) and the M (takes two to tango on that front, pretty much a 90(me)/10(her) marriage and did not understand my frustration since I was "yelling" (her words) when I wanted to talk and would block me out). She really did affair down with OM but she is in lurrrrrv, because he loves her as is (as he says). I don't think she will R as she is smack talking me to her BFF through FB Messenger. Forgiveness is not even on the plate right now and it will take a long time for that to happen. Feel like the knife has been stuck in and twisted about 200 times. WW says she feels my pain but it's just platitudes at this point.

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 11:54 AM, February 4th (Tuesday)]

PassThis posted 2/4/2020 12:29 PM

heartbrokeninNC,

I hesitate to ask, but why is your WW even invited to go with you and the rest of your family to Eldest DD Boot Camp graduation. If she wants to go, and it is important to your Eldest DD, why doesn't she just go on her own, separately?

I understand that it might be important for her, and maybe to your Eldest DD, that she is there. But I see no reason why you have to go together, having her with you and your other children who despise her anyway.

I don't see why you have to show any united front. That would be a sham, and probably not work, anyway. Your WW is pissing on you, your family and the marriage. I sorry to be blunt, but there is no way in hell that I would stay in her company. The jig is up. Your son and daughters know. Why the charade?

Your WW should expect to be excluded. She made the decisions to betray, to take off her rings, to flaunt her affair, and to "smirk" at you. She should suffer the consequences of her own actions. You and your family should not suffer her presence.

I am not criticizing you, I just don't understand. Your reasons may justify. Your call anyway.

heartbrokeninNC posted 2/4/2020 12:37 PM

I don't see why you have to show any united front. That would be a sham, and probably not work, anyway. Your WW is pissing on you, your family and the marriage. I sorry to be blunt, but there is no way in hell that I would stay in her company. The jig is up. Your son and daughters know. Why the charade?

PassThis, we got the tickets for this before D-Day. Also we have not told my eldest DD about the A since it would impact her during the training phase. We are planning to let her know while we are up there. Best to hear it from both her father and mother first hand.

I'm still processing the whole thing.

[This message edited by heartbrokeninNC at 12:51 PM, February 4th (Tuesday)]

PassThis posted 2/4/2020 16:12 PM

OK, sorry that you are in this situation. Stay strong.

Buffer posted 2/4/2020 20:06 PM

Well since AP is a coward and doesn’t want his side to know he is breaking up a marriage. Can we now exspose the A to his side, say a email, letter or a flyer to his family with a photo of your wife in her wedding dress mentioning the children that are being affected.
Good luck and hope the Boot Camp graduation goes well.
WW separate transport and accommodation of course! She pays her own way.
Buffer

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