The past 3 months have been the worst time of my life .
Married 5 yrs , 2 kids.
In October, W started lying out of nowhere , opening up credit cards and lying about it , inconsistent stories , strange behavior, etc .
She was also consuming alcohol more frequently than normal. I was concerned about her. I confronted her about it and she stone walled me for 3 days. I then called her father and her best friend . I said I was concerned about her drinking . 4 years ago she left a bar wasted and plowed into a car going 50 mph. It’s a miracle she and the other driver walked away unhurt. She was charged with DUI and spent 2 days in jail . I told her father and best friend I loved her and just want to help.
She considered this the ultimate betrayal . Instead of looking out for her , I was throwing her under the bus , spreading rumors about her , trying to make her look bad. She considered this so bad, she said she was filing for D.
After a while she said she didn’t want to anymore . We went through the holidays fine.
Then she hit me with it .
Drunk on New Years , she says “I’ve been seeing my ex”.
The pain I felt inside was indescribable . But I didn’t show it . I knew she wanted me to show my pain but I just went to bed .
The next day she says she did meet with him . But says it was not sexual . She said they had been texting . She said they had been texting every once in a while for two years. This is her hS BF so at this point I’m pretty sure they are still in love.
From there I went right into the 180. She surrendered her phone . I went through it . She was like a CIA operative in covering her tracks . Unrecoverable iMessages. Gps locations deleted . FB messages masterfully deleted . Msgs to friends removed one by one so u can’t recover the thread . His name stored under a women’s name . Phone apps unable to recover info . She put a lot of thought into not getting caught . What I did find on the phone was a message to my best friend which was basically a book on why I am a bad person .
She agreed to polygraph . Had full intentions of doing it and had picked a place . But I wanted to wait however and see how this played out first and if she was truly willing to R first . When it comes to the 180 I did everything but file the paperwork . I was dreading it .
Then the next week it went from bad to worse . She started picking fights, swearing around our Kids, doing things to get a rise out of me . Looking to get me to say something bad so she can have a reason to leave the marriage . Swearing around the kids was what did it for me . Late that night I told her I hated her . The next day she said that’s it , I’m filing for D. She often threatens me with D anytime there is a disagreement . She enjoys the control and power she has with having the option to pull the plug .
She is now gearing up to destroy my life . She refuses to share equal custody of the children. I try to be a great father and my record is nothing but parking tickets . She said if I do not agree to her parenting plan she will be going full force in court . I do not care about the money or attorney costs when it comes to my kids . I will be fighting for 50/50 custody no matter the cost . I know that now is the time to see an attorney . I was putting it off hoping things would change . But she has flat out refused couples counseling . I am dealing with a soon to be X with a tremendous ego and someone who will legit get sick satisfaction from watching me pack my bags and coming after me in court .
My W has physically abused me in the past . I have been beaten, scratched , spit on. I didn’t call the police bc I didn’t want to get her in trouble . The DUI is 3 years old now so I’m not sure how relevant it would be in a custody case . She has been prescribed anti depressants and has been on and off them for years (mostly off). I believe she is bipolar or manic .
Has anyone ever been in a D like this ? I’m so hurt right now . What are my chances at 50:50 custody ? Or even full custody ?