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Q re: Protective Order

PerpleNerple posted 5/7/2020 17:53 PM

I have a lawyer for the divorce, but not for the protective order. STBXW was arrested on 04.26.20; $1k bond so she was out same day. I did not actually call the police, my sister did. Police pressed charges, I didn't. I did get it extended though which was supposed to last for 15 days.

Hearing was scheduled for tomorrow. Got an email from the court at 330pm today saying her lawyer requested a continuance and now the new date is mid-June!

The temp. order granted me possession of the marital home - but I thought that would only be for 2 weeks. I have packed almost everything. My plan was to leave, and STBXW knows this. Do I have to stay in this house now?

Am I solely responsible for the mortgage? She has been making statements on social media that she will destroy both of us financially, she doesn't care. She's refusing to pay on her credit card, which I was a cosigner on (I closed the account because I didn't want her to max it out).

I can't afford to pay my lawyer to represent me on this. Just not an option.

Am I in violation of the order if I contact her and let her know I'm shutting the utilities off and moving out?

nekonamida posted 5/8/2020 07:01 AM

Can you at least check with your lawyer before moving and get some advice?

tushnurse posted 5/8/2020 08:29 AM

work out a payment plan w/ your lawyer, that will be a lot cheaper than trying to dig out of financial ruin. Seriously. You need to protect yourself in all possible ways.

StillLivin posted 5/8/2020 11:28 AM

You're asking for legal advice and we aren't qualified to answer those questions. You need to beg, borrow, or steal for an attorney. I know this sucks. I hate that we cannot help on this.
It is imperative that you don't try to navigate this without an attorney. Can you open up a credit card? Have your attorney petition for reimbursement for the fees from your spouse when you go to court.
I will say this, only legal paperwork signed by a judge (bankruptcy, etc.) can mitigate one's responsibility from paying debt to the banks.
It cost about $5,500 for my attorney to represent me in court when I had to get a restraining order. I struggled, but she was worth every penny because the defendant's attorney was slick and threw stuff at me that I would not have been prepared for. Good luck.

Marz posted 5/8/2020 12:10 PM

She has been making statements on social media that she will destroy both of us financially, she doesn't care. She's refusing to pay on her credit card, which I was a cosigner on (I closed the account because I didn't want her to max it out).

Document, document and document. Everything may come in handy later.

Id also get a copy of the arrest record and restraining order.

sparkysable posted 5/13/2020 16:06 PM

You do not need a lawyer for the criminal case, but you do need a lawyer for the divorce.

Butforthegrace posted 5/14/2020 05:50 AM


She has been making statements on social media that she will destroy both of us financially, she doesn't care. She's refusing to pay on her credit card, which I was a cosigner on (I closed the account because I didn't want her to max it out).

I can't afford to pay my lawyer to represent me on this. Just not an option.

The amount she will steal from you through misuse of the judicial system is way more than the amount you will pay a lawyer for what is routine advice in a divorce (easy for the lawyer = not a lot of hours).

Laws on these questions vary widely by state. You need to consult a local lawyer.

HalfTime2017 posted 5/14/2020 17:22 PM

Do not move out. Stay in the house and just take less on the sale when it finalizes. There is no reason to move out. especially right now, you can get the mortgage pushed out b/c of the CARES act. Whatever you do, I would not move out

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