SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Divorce/Separation

lilflower1000 posted 5/23/2020 20:42 PM

I’ve got 39 days to go until I close on my new home. I’m trying desperately to get along well with him, stop asking questions etc. For the most part I do well, but I messed up tonight and asked what his plans are w/ the OW. He got upset and told me he didn’t know. He did promise not to ever bring her around our kids. I hope he’s telling the truth.

Overall he’s been being quite kind. He says he’s going to continue to take care of us. I hope he’s telling the truth. I’m just trying my best to try to get along and make it through the next 39 days.

UneedToSmile posted 5/23/2020 21:55 PM

Maybe I shouldn't post when I'm feeling so shitty, but I wouldn't even acknowledge the fact that he's "being kind." He's an asshat. He caused your situation. However, I am very happy that you are about to close on your new home. Get away from that far and fast!!!

BearlyBreathing posted 5/23/2020 23:09 PM

LIliflower— congrats on the house. I bought mine last summer and it is wonderful to have my own space.

So NC is a beautiful thing, but it is HARD. So just keep trying to not engage.
Is your D and all the financials and stuff final? If not, keep playing nice until everything you deserve. Get the legal stuff done. Then it doesn’t matter if he keeps his word (except OW around the kids— and we’ll hope he does the right thing there).

lilflower1000 posted 5/23/2020 23:20 PM

Yes he is an asshat. I’m not sure if you read my story or not, but I’ve been through more than 8 years of hell in this 18 year marriage.

I have not taken care of any legal stuff because he’s helping w/ my down payment etc, so I don’t want to get into the legal stuff and piss him off . Right now he’s paying more than he’d have to through child support, so I’m going to wait until I’m in the home to file.

I can’t wait until the kids and I are in our own home. It’ll be such a nice fresh start. The kids are excited too.,I can’t wait until this nightmare is over.

lilflower1000 posted 5/24/2020 05:52 AM

38 more days!!
- Did I have sex w/him last night? Yes.. Do I feel bad about it?No. I might be insane, but I don’t. It’s actually comforting.
- Overall, I feel better today. I’m going to get up, go to the gym and go fishing. Then maybe I’ll start painting some furniture.

The world is my oyster!
I hope I stay in this state of mind.

LadyG posted 5/25/2020 04:29 AM

As he states that he doesn’t know what plans he has where OW is concerned, be cautious about him forcing his way back into your life.

My STBX WH began treating me even worse as the nearer I was to closing on my new home. That was a year ago.

He harassed me about his new GF, which made me laugh as I was supposed to be jealous.

I regret that my children witnessed his worst behaviour.

He was jealous that I was moving on without him and thriving on my own. That’s when the harassment from WH, GF & Co. verged on the illegal.

He wanted to and just expected to lie and waltz back into my life. I am still single by choice.

As restrictions ease up, I am pushing him towards D! I have been through enough. Good luck 🙏🏼

Anna123 posted 5/25/2020 11:40 AM

You may have already mentioned this but I am assuming the home will be titled in your name only and the mortgage if there is one will be in his name only until there is a final legal agreement a lawyer approves? (unless you are planning on paying the mortgage yourself). I still feel like this is risky without legal counsel because 'him paying' the downpayment is actually, 'you and him' paying the down-payment, and any new purchase 'for you' actually belongs equally to both of you.

Congrats on moving forward though, what a relief it must be.