AthameAflame posted 6/3/2020 01:44 AM

My STBXW moved out about three months ago. She moved in with one guy and then moved on to a second. It turns out he is an active meth user, so my children are not allowed near him. She agreed to that, but then took them to a local creek with him, so now she doesn’t get to take them anywhere except for a couple of relatives’ houses whom I trust, and even then I drop them off and pick them up.

I told her I would do a no-fault as long as she agreed to all of my divorce terms, which she did. I’m just saving up the money to pay the lawyer. But now I feel I have to be more aggressive in order to keep them away from the meth mouth.

Even the kids (14, 12, and 11) realize how horrible his addiction is, and they wonder why their Mom would be with a man like that knowing that it means they can’t be around her as often. I’m true to my promise. I don’t say any disparaging things about her in front of them, but I don’t really have to. I broke down and told them about his addiction because they thought I was keeping them away from him out of jealousy.

It was one thing to break my heart. It’s something else entirely to break theirs. GAH!

BearlyBreathing posted 6/3/2020 01:47 AM

Keep being the great dad that you are. Any way you can borrow to get the divorce while she’s still agreeable?

Your kids will be fine- they have you.

tushnurse posted 6/3/2020 08:22 AM

Can you force her to do a drug test?
If you have proof that she isn't clean it may completely change your mind on your path.

People that hand with people that do meth, generally do meth too. If not yet she will.

Tigersrule77 posted 6/3/2020 10:58 AM

What are the custody terms you had discussed? Am I correct in assuming that is what you are referencing? Hopefully your attorney has some ideas for how best to handles restricting contact like that. Do you know if the guy has a criminal record?

I'm guessing that in your case, (as i've seen in some others) WS chooses AP or next partner as a complete rejection of everything that BS was.

LadyG posted 6/5/2020 02:04 AM

My heart just broke for you and your precious children.

I cannot imagine choosing Meth over my children but that is the draw of this insidious drug.

Keep your babies safe.🙏🏼

Catwoman posted 6/5/2020 10:01 AM

First off, does this person have a criminal record? Criminal records are public. They are also independent third party verification that this person isn't someone you want around children.

If she is LIVING with him and he has a record, you could likely VERY successfully petition the court that her parenting time not include overnights and not include being in her domicile.

But in order to get this, even in temporary orders, you have to file.

One of the things you can do is do your attorney's legwork (if you are able). Find this fellows record, see if there are multiple police runs to this home, check his driving record, etc. A lot of this is available as public record. You may need to take a day off and go to the local courthouse to get this information, but it is available. This saves you a lot of money, and gives the attorney what they need.

I wouldn't wait to file. This is a dangerous situation.

Cat

ZenMumWalking posted 6/5/2020 11:58 AM

Can you get custody and supervised visitation only for her?

AthameAflame posted 6/5/2020 23:47 PM

Thanks everyone. I’m currently working on all of that.

Bleu posted 6/7/2020 21:53 PM

I can only imagine your consternation at having to live this and type the words.

We can never dream up the crazy we will have to endure.

Your kids are so fortunate to have you.

Westway posted 6/8/2020 16:32 PM

Dude. C'mon. Get pissed here.

If he is doing meth...she is doing meth.

Demand that your lawyer request a court-ordered urinalysis be done on her. The meth culture is a horrendously dangerous one. Your moron STBXWW is exposing your children to a very insidious and criminal group of people.

AthameAflame posted 6/9/2020 23:18 PM

I’m sorry. Did I not cuss enough? I’m livid and doing everything mentioned.