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Devastated again

StormyPrincess posted 6/14/2020 16:48 PM

Oh dear friends. It's been so long. I think about coming and checking in here often then get so busy with work and trying to get ready to move.

My ex was just here to help pack some more stuff. He left and called when he got to his place. Wanted to tell me he had a girlfriend for past two months or so, before I heard it from anyone else. The thing is, it is a girl he was cheating on me with when we dated. Why didn't I see the red flags then? And just a month ago he was trying to get with me!!!

So instead of me getting my house in order, I'm sitting here sobbing. I had forgotten about this because it happened in the early 90s. I want to vomit. Why does it feel like this is happening all over again? I just feel devastated all over again. I just started to feel slightly human and felt like maybe I could find love again. But I'm sitting here sobbing and back to square one. How can I move forward? Thanks all.

little turtle posted 6/14/2020 17:21 PM


I don't know your story, but I'm glad he's in his own place. No clue why he felt the need to share that info with you. What a jerk.

fareast posted 6/14/2020 17:21 PM


You have been heard. I am so sorry you are going through this. Your Ex is very cruel. But the good news is you are divorced from this lying, cheating dirtbag.

[This message edited by fareast at 1:27 PM, June 27th (Saturday)]

StormyPrincess posted 6/14/2020 20:46 PM

Thank you guys. I’m a wreck. Hoping my face de-puffs before work tomorrow. I’ve been crying so much. Probably more than I’ve cried in years.

I appreciate your kindness and advice. I need to NOT engage no matter how much I am driven to...,

[This message edited by StormyPrincess at 8:48 PM, June 14th (Sunday)]

Chili posted 6/14/2020 20:53 PM

Hey Stormy:

I'm really sorry to hear that your asshat is unfortunately, still an asshat. Stinks that he pokes at you this way still. Sigh.

Just remember - you are definitely not back at square one. So you're a decent, genuine emotional person who is capable of feeling things. Not the worst thing ever. Doesn't mean you're not moving forward. You're just taking a minute to feel what you need to feel. Actually, it can be kind of freeing to let all that stuff out.

You'll get your house in order - you'll get back to your nexts. (And your face will be just fine tomorrow no matter what).

Chili posted 6/14/2020 20:54 PM

And PS: I agree with not engaging with him on this topic. Cricket him. I just don't think there's anything there to help soothe you.

CallingSpades posted 6/14/2020 21:00 PM

Stormy, what an awful thing for him to do. Agree with other posts here and just wanted to say, here is your proof that you made the right choice in pursuing D. To still be manipulating you to be with him, while he has a girlfriend? What a broken and cruel person. Of course you feel terrible now, but truly, he has just given you all you need to never look back and move on confidently with your own life.

LadyG posted 6/14/2020 21:08 PM

I so wish that I was D already from my nasty STBXWH.

Look at this as a plus.

After I moved out, My ASSHAT loved dropping crap in my lap about past A’s that I had no knowledge of.

He regrets all the nasty crap now. I have collected all his crap and I gently place it before him every time he mentions R.

Sweetheart, know this. Even when my face is puffy and red from crying, I am so much more than any of is ugly exAPs.

The1stWife posted 6/14/2020 22:25 PM

So the OW has finally ended up with this loser.

I know it hurts. It is painful. But you will move on. Your life will be better.

The OW has just won a boo you prize but she’s just too stupid to know it. She just doesn’t know the “prize” she’s getting is a lying cheating jerk.

Living well is the best revenge.

BearlyBreathing posted 6/15/2020 14:29 PM

Ah Stormy. What a loser he is. He has his head so far up his ass that he has to lash out at you to try to justify his behavior.

Please trust that in time you WILL feel better. You deserve so so so much more.
NC is your friend... And when the grief comes around, let it happen, then dust off and keep moving forward.


StormyPrincess posted 6/18/2020 21:45 PM

Thank you each and every one for giving me some confidence and strength to go on. ((Hugs))

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