Phoenix1 posted 6/21/2020 13:54 PM

*** Posting as a member ***

DD and I were chatting not long ago, both wondering if Xhole and new wifey are still living around here. So, last night I took a little drive. Remember, he was living less than about five minutes from me. Not far, but down a road I don't ordinarily drive on.

Well, they are still living there (Xhole's prized truck parked there), but I busted out laughing. He must have had so many process servers knocking on the door that he is now resorting to placing a line of bright orange plastic cones (think construction cones) at the foot of the driveway, along with another "no trespassing" sign (still has the other that covers the house numbers). Because no one would bother to park before the cones and walk up to the house, of course.

I told DD that one evening I should go back and put a flower in one of the cones, just to jerk with his obvious paranoia. She said she would likely pee her pants if I did that. Challenge accepted!

We really just wanted to know if we need to still be watching for him in the area or not (to avoid contact). Was really hoping he had moved.

Mission accomplished and my evening ended with a wonderful laugh.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 2:58 PM, June 21st (Sunday)]

FaithFool posted 6/21/2020 14:22 PM

Dear god he's a special one isn't he?

Chrysalis123 posted 6/21/2020 14:45 PM

I always love your posts about him. What type of flower did you use?

Phoenix1 posted 6/21/2020 14:57 PM

Haven't placed flower yet. Trying to decide what to actually place there. Maybe a really sparkly pinwheel with a smiley face?? 🤔

Oh, the possibilites!!

He really does make this too easy...

FaithFool posted 6/21/2020 15:01 PM

THIS! ^^^

ff4152 posted 6/21/2020 15:50 PM

Phoenix1

Perhaps a picture of Roz from Monsters Inc with her tag line “I’m always watching you” should hang on one of the cones. It would be fun to see his head explode over that one!

Phoenix1 posted 6/21/2020 16:04 PM

Perhaps a picture of Roz from Monsters Inc with her tag line “I’m always watching you” should hang on one of the cones.

I'm 99.9999% sure that would go right over his head. He wouldn't have a clue who Roz is, much less her tag line.

Hhhmmmm, this could be fun and I'm open to ideas!

Maybe a big pair of googly eyes stuck on the center cone facing the house.👀

Chili posted 6/21/2020 20:02 PM

sure that would go right over his head.

Well that's not too difficult to do now, is it?

This could be very fun to ponder on a symbolic level - are you tied to the flower idea...? (Wheels turning here).

Flower symbolism:

Black-eyed Susan = Justice
Yellow Rose = Infidelity
Hydrangea = Vanity

Or just a simple sign that says: "Free."

thebighurt posted 6/21/2020 22:22 PM

Phoenix1, I think if you decide to put a flower there, whatever kind you choose, it should be a dead one. Maybe one of those lovely roses with the head bent down on the stem and dried and black. What do you think he would take from that?

Phoenix1 posted 6/21/2020 22:56 PM

Dead flower wouldn't register on his radar. He is not adept at picking up symbolism. Needs to be obvious. Think giving a clear message to a child. Literally.

Carissima posted 6/22/2020 00:50 AM

A nice big prickly cactus....

Jeaniegirl posted 6/22/2020 01:09 AM

OH please go with the Googly eyes -- looking at his house, of course!

Catwoman posted 6/22/2020 15:16 PM

I would vote for cheap dollar store sparkly red white and blue pinwheels--one for each cone.

But I'm an evil old bat.

Cat

PS: I am a ninja-level flamingo placer. Just saying.

jadedangel posted 6/22/2020 15:20 PM

I am mean enough that I would put a positive pregnancy test on one of the cones and let him sweat that one out!

However, pinwheels with so much glitter that they could blind him would be great too!

Notmine posted 6/23/2020 06:32 AM

Print out pics of JUST eyes and tape them to each cone.

ZenMumWalking posted 6/23/2020 09:57 AM

BEEP BEEP what an asswipe!!!!!!

Chrysalis123 posted 6/23/2020 16:50 PM

The responses in this thread had me laughing out loud!

Phoenix1 posted 6/23/2020 17:55 PM

Ditto, Chrys!

Bigger posted 6/23/2020 17:59 PM

Print out notices of repossession and paste one on each of the cones.

Chili posted 6/23/2020 18:05 PM

I still think someone taking said cones because they thought they were free would be hysterical.

The dark humor, brilliance, wit, and plain old sarcasm around here is the best and a huge part of what got me through those dark days.

Phoenix - you must let us know if you actually do get all Ninja.