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Moving into Separation

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countrydirt posted 12/8/2020 04:16 AM

I do wonder when I will sleep more than 5 hours a night again. I know I am putting on a good front to friends and family that I'm doing better, but damn, this lack of sleep deal is getting tough. Melatonin, no caffeine after noon, bedtime ritual help me to fall asleep easily enough, but staying asleep is difficult. I can't stop the racing mind and soon the racing heart that follows and I finally just get up at 2-3 a.m. and start my day.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 4:17 AM, December 8th (Tuesday)]

Hippo16 posted 12/8/2020 11:38 AM

CountryDirt:

staying away from booze?

physical exercise - do something strenuous

if you can - split wood with a 10LB splitter

if you don't have wood - see if a friend does


When I was PO'd at spouse I would cut enough of a log so I could manually split for at least an hour.

and the PUN IS:

I slept like a log that night!


no kidding


or - get a bush ax and clear a fenceline


or - go for a hike - 10 miles if you can

countrydirt posted 12/8/2020 12:27 PM

CountryDirt:
staying away from booze?

physical exercise - do something strenuous

if you can - split wood with a 10LB splitter

if you don't have wood - see if a friend does


When I was PO'd at spouse I would cut enough of a log so I could manually split for at least an hour.

and the PUN IS:

I slept like a log that night!


no kidding


or - get a bush ax and clear a fenceline


or - go for a hike - 10 miles if you can

Yep, doing some of those things. Try walking every day. Last good night sleep was after a 37 mile bike ride in the wind. The last few times I've ridden I guess I didn't go hard enough, or I'm getting into better shape!

I'm going to shut the screens off of everything and try to get a better routine going in the evening. I have an appointment with my GP this afternoon to see what he thinks I can do. Cutting out the 4 or 5 cups of black tea in the morning and try to limit to 1 or 2 and then if I think I need more to drink, either water or herbal tea.

countrydirt posted 12/12/2020 06:27 AM

She's been coming over to get some of her hoarded shit, but instead, is going through the shared kitchen stuff.

But, I found a bag of those New Year's Eve confetti poppers and told her that I would be pulling the strings on them on December 22 at my divorce celebration party! Eff her!

countrydirt posted 12/14/2020 17:40 PM

I received notice that the court has it scheduled for January 12 at 4:15 p.m. Covid has wreaked havoc on scheduling. So, at least I have a date certain now.

I'm surprisingly at peace about it. The non-anniversary would have been this Thursday and that is a non-issue as well.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 5:45 PM, December 14th (Monday)]

countrydirt posted 12/18/2020 14:25 PM

This process is just a continuing emotional gut-punch. Yesterday was what would have been the 32nd anniversary. I received, in the mail, the court notice that the separation agreement and parenting plan was approved and the non-contested hearing was scheduled for next month. What an ironic day to receive it. Talked to a former sister in law (her old anniversary would have been today) and so we have always had a connection, even with her divorcing my brother.

ff4152 posted 12/18/2020 16:47 PM

contrydirt

Iím sorry your in pain today. I wish I had something uplifting so say other than youíve been heard. Hopefully you can spend some time with a friend or have some other way to take your mind off of this for a few hours.

All the best.

countrydirt posted 12/18/2020 18:07 PM

Thank you ff4152. I do have friends I've visited with yesterday and today. This whole thing is a process. My really good friend told me "You need you more than you need them," in regards to anyone out there - ex, possible dates, etc. She reminded me that the most important people to take care of right now are my 17 year old son and myself.

We are doing well. I took my son to the bank to cash his paychecks (and get repaid for the gifts I paid for for his girlfriend) and I went and bought some lightly used snowshoes.

Christmas break started today. I got my grades turned in and now have 2 weeks to rest and relax. I'm going to try and go snowshoeing this weekend in the mountains just a few miles away. If there isn't enough snow, I'll just walk around the trails in the hills and be fine - the winter weather is really messing with my bike riding but next week looks better for that.

Marz posted 12/19/2020 21:18 PM

She said she hoped we could get to a place to be friends. I told the best I hoped for was not despise her someday.

Bud they all do this. But itís all for them not you. Itís to alleviate their guilty. Heís ok because weíre friends!

Definition of friend = honest, loyal and trustworthy

Let her go. No other woman is gonna want an x in the mix.

No contact which is up to you is your best friend

countrydirt posted 12/24/2020 20:20 PM

I realized today that I am in a season of "firsts" as I wrapped - well actually bagged - gifts for my youngest. First time I've celebrated Christmas as a single man for 32 years. It sort of knocked me backwards this morning. I know that I have a lot of 'firsts' to come. It's going to be a painful year.

I spent some time on a video call with DS2 and his wife this morning. They pulled me out of my funk. After the call, I knew I needed to go on a mountain bike ride. There is nothing like pedaling away for a couple of hours to keep things in perspective.

I'm still alive. I can see the light at the end of this really dark tunnel. I cooked an excellent bachelor meal tonight. I cleaned my kitchen and every dish in the house is clean.

I don't have to deal with a slob anymore. That's a good thing.

STBXW if slowly packing her hoarded shit. I believe most of her traces will be removed next week. I'm so ready.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 8:21 PM, December 24th (Thursday)]

Marz posted 12/24/2020 21:04 PM

Great time to redecorate and make it 100% yours.

Iíd do a full purge of all her stuff.

ff4152 posted 12/25/2020 16:15 PM

countrydirt

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas!

countrydirt posted 1/11/2021 17:48 PM

So she calls me today asking what time we have to be at the courthouse tomorrow for the final hearing. Claims she can't find any of the details in her email. I gently reminded her it was in an envelope I handed to her and the hearing will be a telephone hearing only and sent her a photo of my copy so she could have the number and access code.

In less than 24 hours, I will be legally divorced. I have some of those New Year Eve confetti poppers I intend to let off!

Lalagirl posted 1/12/2021 08:41 AM

Hi countrydirt - sending you well wishes for your new life out of infidelity! Whoot whoot!

crazyblindsided posted 1/12/2021 10:32 AM

Congrats are in order for today! Here's to your new beginning and leaving infidelity in the dust!

countrydirt posted 1/12/2021 17:23 PM

And just like that, it's done.

countrydirt posted 1/13/2021 05:31 AM

I thought I would be sadder.

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