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crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 6:11 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020
Ok so I LOVE my animals and I am going to be taking the cats and the guinea pig. The dog is where I'm having trouble as my STBX says it's his, yet I'm the one who feeds it everyday, buys the food for all the animals, and the dog sleeps with me every night.
Is there a way I can stipulate visits with the dog, like child custody?
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 6:23 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020
Perhaps the dog can travel to/from parenting time with the kids? I know a divorced couple that did this.
Cat
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 7:40 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020
You can put just about anything you want in the agreement, provided both parties agree. If you want visitation with the dog, put it in!
I kept our three very large dogs, and it was stipulated in our agreement. Animals are treated like property when it comes to divorce.
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 7:49 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020
I'm probably not the best example, but my pets are my kids. I kept all of them, including 'his' cat. (Aside - it's a damn good thing I did too since he moved out of state to be in a sex sandwich with some redneck married couple. Lord only knows what he would have done with my sweet Stig)
Of course, my exdouche is a total coward and I knew there wouldn't be any arguing with me. But all of that said, I'd try to keep the dog. Unless you're 100% trust that he will actually care for the pupper, then it's better if you keep him.
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
crazyblindsided (original poster member #35215) posted at 7:57 PM on Thursday, July 9th, 2020
Thanks for the replies they help. Yes I do want to keep the dog as I feel I'm the most responsible for all the animals. I love them like my children 
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
Muggle ( member #62011) posted at 1:53 AM on Friday, July 10th, 2020
My attorney said animals are more contested than child custody when I went through this.
My attorney asked me during my first consult if I anticipated any push back about pets. I knew he didn't want any of them, so it was a win win for me. He told me a story about a cat that was part of a heated divorce that cost the client $30k. Apparently they went all the way to trial over the CAT, and nothing else.
The cat became custody of the person that was listed with the vet, had the records, and primarily fed and took care of it.
If you have any doubts he might not care for the dog, keep it. I wouldn't want it on my conscience if he dumped it somewhere or sent it to animal control when he got tired of taking care of it.
You can agree on visitation, just like a kid. Get it in the agreement in black and white, with clear cut stipulations on who pays the vet, food and such.
Good luck.
[This message edited by Muggle at 7:53 PM, July 9th (Thursday)]
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