Dadchats posted 7/13/2020 14:02 PM

Long story short my ex cheated with her coworker, then left me and our children for that relationship. Initially she said she was torn, was hot and cold via messenger then just nothing unless its about bills etc. When I asked for the other housekey back she said no as her stuff is still here. She was already at the house at this time to collect some essentials. I said I won't do anything to your stuff and you can collect anytime. This was over 5 weeks ago which was the last time I saw her. She has shown no interest in getting back together since. I haven't chased or pursued in this time. Any ideas why she won't give the key back. Many thanks

crazyinlove1995 posted 7/13/2020 14:28 PM

Sorry your here man.I would and did change the fucking locks and throw her shit in the yard.I know its gonna be hard but try and see her for what she is at this moment.Shes not giving you much to work with..Protect you,protect your kids.Sit back and watch the train head off the track.Youve got this.
Peace

dblackstar2002 posted 7/13/2020 14:28 PM

Could be any number of reasons. But I would just change my locks and move on. Any one who could so easily toss you and your kids aside, Is not worth your time or your worry. From here on out if anyone asks you about her your response should be. Don't know, Don't care....

Tanner posted 7/13/2020 14:51 PM

Change the locks ASAP. If she needs her essentials she can pick them up at an agreed time. She is not safe or trustworthy, also OM has access to your home. Lock it down, good luck.

StillLivin posted 7/13/2020 15:03 PM

Control.

HellFire posted 7/13/2020 15:31 PM

If you can't change the locks,because it is still her legal residence,or her name is on the lease, then add a few more locks to the doors. Simple solition.

Chili posted 7/13/2020 16:00 PM

Yep - figure out a way to keep your physical and emotional space safe. My assclown (and those of a lot of other folks here) tried to use belongings and all that mess to literally keep one foot in the door somehow.

If they are things she needs now, then you can ask for a list and place the items in the garage or driveway or front porch on an arranged day.

Separation of property any further can be addressed with your attorney if you're going that route. Usually the same deal though - things appear on a list - not with one party roaming around helping themselves to anything they want whenever they want.

LadyG posted 7/13/2020 17:33 PM

Has she returned to your house when you were not home?

I left my WH and have a key to our family home.

I always negotiated access to my home to collect my belongings ever since. Our son still resides there too.

WH had covert cameras in my old bedroom. How creepy.

Maybe get a security camera installed somewhere that sends you an alert.

If your children still live with you, call it a security measure.