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Divorce/Separation :
Trying to explain my hurt does no good

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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 8:19 PM on Friday, September 4th, 2020

Talking to Wh today. I tried to tell him why he hurt me. I don’t know why . I know he doesn’t get it.

He yelled and said this is why I was best friends with ow2. She doesn’t throw stuff back into my face.

October 18, he’s moving out!

posts: 3843   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8583538
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 8:43 PM on Friday, September 4th, 2020

And that is why he’s useless!

He doesn’t care he created this tsunami. He just wants you to stop talking about it.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14770   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8583553
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 9:45 PM on Friday, September 4th, 2020

It's why we are in this forum. My STBX is still blameshifting as well. They are broken.

fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024

posts: 9075   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8583579
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 10:29 PM on Friday, September 4th, 2020

Why can’t I go NC?! I need to!

However, it’s good to have these talks with Wh because it just strengthens my resolve to kick him out after 45 (now 44) days

posts: 3843   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8583598
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 11:03 PM on Friday, September 4th, 2020

So every time you have one of these conversations it helps to reinforce why divorce is the only option here. However you are also causing yourself unnecessary pain and frustration. Hopefully at some point soon you can disengage and spare yourself that extra pain. And this is exactly why no contact is so important for our own sanity and to help us move forward. I’m sorry he’s being such an Insensitive jerk. It’s just what WS do To make us BS out to be bad people to justify their crappy decisions. October 18 will be here soon, hang tight.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6488   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8583618
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 11:04 PM on Friday, September 4th, 2020

Also wanted to say this is why We remind betrayed spouses that your soon to be ex is not your friend. Maybe they used to be your friend but now they’re just a crazy stranger and you need to build other networks and support systems and realize your divorce is really truly a business transaction. Of course this hurts and it’s easier said than done

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6488   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8583619
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