I "get" what you are saying and at the time my WH's EA turned PA, and I KNEW something was off, I was in a not so great work situation. So, a part of me wonders if I'd been in a better place professionally at that time, if I'd have created better boundaries in my M.
Then a few years later (and LONG before dday) I took another job that I love, but pays very little (not enough for me to live on). My current job is by contract and I'm at the end of the ability to renew (long story). So, for me today it's more about income than job respect WRT my M.
Although - I do have some serious work conflicts with some of my colleagues (including my mentee betraying me w/in the 1st year after dday and getting a promotion I'd been in line for over 2 yrs). Those things were very painful to work through on top of the post dday fallout.
I think that when dday hits, if we don't have good support systems in other places in our life it impacts our healing and ability to find the strength to leave a cheater, and a job is a big source for our self esteem & confidence. I don't care if you are the janitor or the CEO, a job well done helps us feel good about ourselves. In the aftermath of dday, it can be a kind of "crutch" that helps us learn to walk again.
So, I can't say that my personal job experiences "primed" me for not immediately filing for D after dday, but I do believe that having folks who think I am awesome in my work life helps me get my head & my heart on the same page as to my own value.
[This message edited by gmc94 at 10:23 AM, September 22nd, 2020 (Tuesday)]
M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived
It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies