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Am I being unreasonable? (ok, actually this is just a rant)

WarriorPrincess posted 11/20/2020 22:30 PM

I am looking at this huge pile of bills that the bankruptcy attorney apparently didn't include in the BK, although I gave then to him at least twice, and a bunch of crap I need to do for my taxes, and this completely unbelievable study guide that came from one of my entrance exams today, and thinking, I just can't do all of this. My stupid husband should be helping me.

But he is not going to help me, even though he said he would. His name is on the bills and the taxes, too, so it's not like this doesn't affect him. He said he would take all of this over in order to support me as I study for my exams. But now apparntly he is not going to do any of it. Even if he does do it, he will probably fuck it up somehow. He will probably lose a bunch of papers that we need and then go to the lawyer and forget half of what he says, like he always does. I will probably just have to spend so much time explaining it and checking to make sure he does it right, that I might as well have been doing it all myself.

But he probably won't do anything anyway. he will probably "forget" or be "too tired" or just do it wrong.

When I started this rant, I was actually thinking it would be so easy to just give up. To say, I was wrong, you are a great guy, I should never have doubted you, I can't do this on my own, can you be a big, strong man and go see that lawyer for me???

But then I realized, that would get me nowhere. Part of the reason I am fed up with him is his gross incompetence and complete lack of common sense. That's how he was when I didn't want to get divorced, when I just wanted to believe I had a good man. There is no reason to suppose that he would handle things any better if he thought I was crawling back under his thumb again.

I am just frustrated and a little bit worried and scared, not to mention pissed that this bankruptcy won't end (ok TBH we are both at fault for that one.) I want all this legal crap that I have been battling for more than a year to be done.

And there was absolutely not point to that, just i'm tired and it's late and I wish I could study more but my brain is fried

End rant.

Unhinged posted 11/20/2020 22:42 PM

That's one heck of a rant.

I don't suppose setting aside specified times to work on the bankruptcy would help any? You know, a "sit the fuck down clown and fucking pay attention" type moment? Just a thought.

WarriorPrincess posted 11/20/2020 22:52 PM

Oh, I'm not even started yet.

We are supposed to be doing that on Sundays but somehow it never gets done. It's partly me wanting to do other things (study and fix my camper) and partly him wanting to "have fun" which means anything bu being a grown up.

sisoon posted 11/21/2020 12:42 PM

Rants worthy of a warrior princess.... Not unreasonable, IMO.

[This message edited by sisoon at 12:43 PM, November 21st (Saturday)]

Cooley2here posted 11/21/2020 20:12 PM

One of two things. He has ADHD so badly that deep concentration for long periods of time are impossible without meds. The other is him giving you a “f**k you” without saying it.

I have a friend who self sabotages and is always complaining about never getting things done on time or forgetting to do them at all. Hello. IRS..

WarriorPrincess posted 11/21/2020 22:24 PM

Well I guess I can forget about getting anything done tomorrow. He went out with his serial-cheating buddy tonight because I originally had plans with friends (but we decided to postpone the plans so I could study for upcoming exams.)

He just posted a picture of him and his friend sitting in the friend's white-trash-deluxe apartment holding up bottles of Jack and the caption "Lit as fuck! God I needed this!" So I really hope he stays there tonight. (Did I mention this man is 52 years old? Really, WH? Immature much?)

Know what's sad? Now that I have had him out of my hair for a couple days, I was actually looking forward to spending time with him on Sunday. I even shaved my legs. So much for that. *sigh*

And it seems like alcohol abuse is potentially a serious problem in this marriage, along with all the other problems.

Wow, for a minute there I thought maybe we could rebuild. I didn't totally buy all his "New Me" nonsense, but I was willing to give it a try. I guess "New WH" is just a less reliable, more immature version of "Old WH."

The1stWife posted 11/22/2020 06:08 AM

The picture says it all.

Stop trying to help someone who doesn’t want the help, doesn’t believe they need the help and will sabotage any help they do get.

He’s 52 with the mindset of a 16 year old.

Get out from under him. He’s nothing but a drag on you and a negative impact on your life.

WarriorPrincess posted 11/22/2020 07:31 AM

First, he had to know he was crossing the line by not calling before not coming home last night. So as far as I'm concerned, that was the last boundary. I'm not doing this anymore.

Second, I do not want to be married to the man in that picture. I just don't.

My son thinks he went out of his way to be hurtful by posting it. If he did, that would make him an even bigger asshole than I already thought he was. The kid also says the word "Lit" means smoking weed. I hadn't thought about it, but if that's true, again, that makes it even worse than I thought it was. Which would not be surprising because our whole marriage has been a lot of "worse than I thought it was."

The last couple of arguments we had in the "stay out of my space" and "not having sex with drunk people" categories included him asking (in pathetic voice) "am I really that revolting to you??" Well, now the answer is "yes, motherfucker, you really are that revolting". Up until yesterday the answer was "No, I just need to not be around you right now." but now, yes, absolutely, the person in that photo is absolutely revolting to me. I cannot stand people like that. I don't like them as patients and I do not associate with them in any other context.

So this is the "new him," huh? This is no better than the old him.

I barely slept last night and woke up mad as hell. Now I need to study but I needed to get this off my brain first.

ThisIsSoLonely posted 11/23/2020 03:06 AM

A bit off topic but you said:

I am looking at this huge pile of bills that the bankruptcy attorney apparently didn't include in the BK, although I gave then to him at least twice,

You can move to amend your schedules due to inadvertent omission and your should - especially if you were a no-asset Ch 7. I assume Ch 7 as if you were in 13 you would be able to amend your plan to include them until discharge. You can file a motion pro se to reopen your case to amend your schedules, and especially if you filed Ch 7 then you should do that ASAP and take full advantage of the fresh start provision of the code.

[This message edited by ThisIsSoLonely at 3:08 AM, November 23rd (Monday)]

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