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First Holiday of Many

Hutch posted 11/25/2020 09:19 AM

I was driving back from the gym this morning and a few thoughts occurred to me. This is my first big holiday after divorce. The first of many. In that moment I experienced various emotions; relief in that Iím finally free, sadness as my kids are experiencing their first in this new life as well, and a bit of confusion in that I felt guilty that Iím happy about this. How a 10 minute drive can produce so many emotions is beyond me. Both of my kids are here with me for Thanksgiving and will be so for Christmas, too. They havenít mentioned their dad. Iím not sure if theyíve had the discussion about holidays with him and my new motto is ďHeís not my problem anymoreĒ. I know this may not be my reality in the years to come, but Iím so incredibly grateful I have my sons with me. I canít imagine holidays without them.

Anyways, Iím rambling but I guess to those who are at the first holiday stage like myself, or the expert stage, I wish you all peace and comfort, and dare I say it? JOY. 💜

waitedwaytoolong posted 11/25/2020 15:17 PM

The first holidays, birthdays, etc are all emotional. Change isnít easy. Even if the change is going from a bad situation to a good one. It takes getting used to.

Iím sure your boys appreciate what you have been through and are thrilled to spend the holidays with you.

Now you just have to put the emotions aside and cook a ton of food for boys of their age!

BearlyBreathing posted 11/25/2020 22:29 PM

I think you will find it better in some ways. Sure , there will be some weirdness. But I think you will also feel the lack of tension. Enjoy your new fresh holidays!!

leafields posted 11/25/2020 22:45 PM

Hi Hutch,

I'm in the same situation. Moved to my own place in January, but got together with my SO I and family for a few holidays. For Thanksgiving, I'm not going to her house. My STBXWH would be there, and I was stressing about it anyway. Problem solved.

My youngest lives with me, and my oldest & his family live across the street, so we'll be a party of 6 rather than 16.

Wishing you all contentment this season.

Hutch posted 11/26/2020 03:30 AM

@waitedwaytoolong
Thank you. Iím always grateful for your words and perspective. Now let the indulging commence. 😉

@Bearly Breathing and leafields

Thank you.

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