SuperDaddy1027 posted 12/4/2020 09:08 AM

Was my Dday. I read through countless texts and pictures and tried to comprehend what had/was happening. My 35 year old wife was sleeping with her 60 year old boss. Despite what I was reading I kept saying “No...this can’t be real. She would never do this”

As the saying goes....no matter how long you know someone (or are married to them) sometimes you never really know that person at all.

Today, I’m happy and healthy and 100% divorced from XWW. I have a great GF that loves me for me (we actually dated in High School....she’s a BS as well).
My kids are doing great (considering the given situation)

My XWW has left me alone. We talk about kids only and don’t do anything together. We’ve had some minor issues with our son “acting out”. We may send him to counseling but I even told XWW he doesn’t act like that at my house. He’s no angel here but he’s not mean and violent like he is at his Mom’s. I truly think its the whole not going to school, not seeing friends that has gotten to him. But still, never too late to discuss counseling. I’ve spoken to my DS. He seems to open up to me more than his Mom. He told me his Mom punishes him for the dumbest things (which I agree) but also reinforced he has to respect her. She is his Mother. He also said he’s sick of being stuck at home (cabin fever). I told him I know. It stinks but it won’t be like this forever.

For anyone going through this hell. All I can say is it will get better. My scars are still there. Getting cheated on his a mind fuck. Add in divorce or even R? And it truly amazes me how people (me included) make it through. But we do. I am no longer a victim. I’m a survivor of the shittiest thing someone has ever done to me. But with the rose colored glasses off....I see XWW for who she truly is and am thankful she’s no longer in my life. I keep my distance from her. I don’t really talk to her unless its related to kids. I’m polite....but not friendly or chummy. I have no desire to be around her if I don’t have to. And it’s not bc I hate her. I’m truly at “meh” with her. And that was the ultimate goal when I started this journey.

Please remember....it will get better. You deserve better. Some days will be better than others. But the big ups and downs will eventually flatten out over time. And one day you’ll look back and it will be nothing more than a tiny blip on your radar of life.

Happy Friday everyone!

[This message edited by SuperDaddy1027 at 9:22 AM, December 4th (Friday)]

Broken1Again posted 12/4/2020 10:33 AM

Thank you for posting this. Sometimes we just need to know it will end well and we will be happy again.

skeetermooch posted 12/4/2020 10:40 AM

Thank you for that! And, congratulations on your new life!!

Chili posted 12/4/2020 16:57 PM

SD!! Good to *see* you.

I just knew you would not only find your footing, but thrive in your new beginnings. You handled all of that mess (including the rocky points of the divorce decree) with such grace and at the same time actually allowing yourself to feel those icky feelings.

I've seen you casually mention the new GF here and there - so glad you have found a companion on your journey.

Hope you will pop in from time to time. I know none of us ever wants to be something resembling an "expert" on this crap, but you've got some hard earned experience you could share for sure.

And good on you for championing respect with your DS - I'm sure getting to "meh" helps so much with reinforcing those kinds of things.

SuperDaddy1027 posted 12/4/2020 17:36 PM

Thanks Chili 😉. Yea outta all of this mess I regret nothing on how I handled the separation, or divorce process. There are plenty of things I regret transitioning into a single Dad, but hey we can’t all be perfect 😉.

Yea I’m anything but an expert. But all the advice I initially got I didn’t believe. But now 4 years later I can safely and confidently say It does Get Better! I thought people just said that b/c they didn’t know what else to say. But it is so true. Time is the the true healer!

As long as my kids are happy, I’m good and thats my #1 goal! They are and always will be my #1 priority! Speaking of which it’s movie time with DS and DD. Gonna watch Elf 😊.

[This message edited by SuperDaddy1027 at 5:40 PM, December 4th (Friday)]

squid posted 12/5/2020 13:28 PM

Glad to hear from you, SD! I haven't been on here very much lately but I'm pleased to see a post from you today.

Glad things are levelling out for you!

WhoTheBleep posted 12/5/2020 14:33 PM

Great post, and glad you are doing well!

SuperDaddy1027 posted 12/6/2020 06:55 AM

Thanks squid and WTB....Hope you both are doing well!

GotTheShaft posted 12/7/2020 13:18 PM

What a great post SuperDaddy! I'm happy for you!

BearlyBreathing posted 12/7/2020 20:22 PM

Hey SD— glad to see your great post! Time really is magical, isn’t it?

Outtatime posted 12/17/2020 23:15 PM

Thanks for posting this. Inspiring!

Phoenix1 posted 12/17/2020 23:23 PM

Great update!