SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Is it possible that thyroid issues could drive a spouse to an affair. My WW says she fell out of love with me, then she was depressed. Several other factors did come to play. As many of you, she and I have tried to come up with an answer and although there isn't a clear one and there will never be one, we can speculate on a recipe for disaster.

It is not uncommon that thyroid issues even when treated, some symptoms do linger. She fell out of love with me. Wants me in her life as a friend, but doesn't want me to live with her anymore. Yet she says somewhere deep down inside in her numb insides, she still loves me. Part of the fallout afterwards has been her guilt, depression and shame.

She was diagnosed a few years back, has been regulated and did well, but I'm wondering if the thyroid has any play in this? Some classic symptoms of a hypo thyroid have come up again.

Anyway, maybe I'm trying to rationalize a crazy choice she made. But she herself can't believe what she did. I can't believe it either. It is surreal.

Hope someone has some input.

I was going to write a long post but plain and simple.....

Bullcrap.

Sorry for the 2x4, but it just sounds like an excuse to me.

I don't think I have every heard of a physiological reason/cause for an A.

Sounds to me like grasping for straws....sorry. I have thyroid problems....I am not the one that had the A nor did I ever consider having one.

I had a crappy M on all levels.

I have thryoid issues and haven taken meds for 5 years.

I didn't have an A.

I also call BS.

You say she was well regulated. If so, she would not have the symptoms associated with hypothyroidism. Sorry, affairs aren't caused by low levels.

I was diagnosed with the same in 1994, well regulated, and I wasn't the one who had an affair.

Dig deeper.

Throwing another BS flag on the pile. My now xww had thyroid issues that she was taking medication for and told me for years this was why we never had sex (side affects was decreased sex drive). However this never stopped the two of them strangely enough.

I know you are searching for answers like many of us, but this would be an excuse; and not a very good one.

You had problems and the spark was dimming, someone gave her attention and it was exciting. It was fantasy and not real life. Temporary not permanent. She thinks that feeling, that excitement will last.

Bullshit. I have a serious thyroid issue and I wasn't the one who cheated.

Thyroid issues can lead to depression. Depression can lead to all kinds of lovely things. Every one of those things are choices. Every. One. Of. Them.

Listen, there are horrible marriages. There are medical issues. There is stress. There is pain. There is Tuesday night and out of chips. Big things. Little things. Nothing.

How one chooses to deal with those is where affairs live. Doesn't remove the environment or accompanying conditions in any way. It is and always will be a choice.

She may have fell out of love with you. She may have thought she fell out of love with you. She may have been unable to separate the chemical complications from reality. Regardless. The choice to cheat was made and that's where her focus needs to be.

She would probably find she'd be less numb if she could start there and examine where she gave herself permission.

Either way, this is her journey. I know this is hurting you so much and finding answers to explain how and why can seem it may help.

The only thing that will is distance, time to heal yourself and an end to continued pain from her. Take care of yourself and let her shoulder her own burden.

Wishing you peace.

Thyroid issues run in my family. Grave's disease, Hashimotos, hyper, hypo, you name it. My mother, father, brother, 2 sisters, and myself all have some sort of thyroid issue. And NONE of us have ever cheated! They cause physical symptoms, not a loss of morals.

Sometimes there is not rational reason that a person cheats. Sometimes they cheat because they can. Because they lack boundaries. Because they lack self esteem. Because they are NPD and don't care about others. Because they enjoy the thrill of the secret. Because they enjoy the attention that the SP heaps on them.

You cannot rationalize crazy.

Wow. Sorry to tell you that Hypo-thyroid does not have anything to do with your WW having an A. I have the same condition and have not had an A. I wasn't the one who messed around. I understand you want a justification for what happened but this isn't it.

I don't have a thyroid problem, nor does my H.

What have I learned from peeking in at this thread? Apparently having thyroid problems leads to becoming a BS

On a serious note, 2M2Q, while her thyroid may have contributed to depression which made her more likely to cheat....I wouldn't go so far as to qualify it as a "cause" of her infidelity, maybe at most a contributing factor to the mindset in which she made her poor decision.

[This message edited by MFC2011 at 3:15 PM, January 11th (Friday)]

If thyroid issues cause you stick your head up your ass then I guess it must be the thyroid. OH seriously I have been on thyroid replacement for years. If you do not maintain your proper dose it can affect you physically. You gain weight get very lethargic. dry skin hair loss. But it does NOT remove your ability to know the difference from right and wrong.

No. Absolutely not.

NO....

I have thyroid problems...and I've been taking Synthroid medication for years.

I go to the doctor every 6 months for blood work to make sure the medication is regulated.

I've never had an affair; or tempted to have an affair.

An adulterous affair is A CHOICE...it's not connected to a medical conditional like a thyroid imbalance.

If your WW does not love...and wants you simply for a friend and doesn't want you to live with her anymore...I'd suggest two things strongly:

ONE - she's still engaged in the affair.

TWO: RUN, don't walk to a Divorce attorney and protect yourself legally and finacially!!!

Hi 2m2q...I actually had my thyorid removed when I was 13, due to a goiter. I can relate to many of the symptoms that other posters have described, but I, too, must disagree with your WW's thyroid being the prime suspect that led to her A.

That being said, UO is also correct that either hyper or hypo thyroidism can lead to a myriad of other things, depression being one of them. Where things go from there, however, is entirely up to the individual.

I was faithful for 23 years, until I stepped off the ledge. But I can tell you with 1000% certainty, my thyroid....or lack thereof....played no part in my bad choices.

That was all on me.

I registered just to reply to this since it is so freakishly similar to my situation.

About a week after discovering the affair I was thinking along these lines too since my WW has a serious thyroid issue and I've seen hyperthyroidism in a friend result in some seriously deranged behavior. A month later I definitely agree with the other posters; poorly managed hormone replacement is not a root cause for betraying your spouse and children.

Welcome ChesterChump!!!

I never said the Thyroid was the main reason for it all. I was thinking it could have been a contributing factor.

I'm wondering if the thyroid has any play in this?

Never the less, I do agree with everyone here.

I have had thyroid issues for over 20 years...on medicine, and partial removal. Have been on and off medicine (under physician's supervision). It can lead to depression. So can a lot of other things. Ultimately, I believe she is grasping for straws. Having an A is a choice (albeit a bad one).

I am also one with bad thyroid problems. I have taken my meds religiously at times and have also gone without.

Mess with your moods and health? Absolutely. Play a role in having an A? Nope. Absolutely ridiculous.