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64fleet (original poster member #18710) posted at 9:39 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
Friday our church had a lock-in for the youth(kids stay up all night locked in the church), my 12 y/o son was excited to go.
They all loaded up in a church van and went to Wendy's to eat. They left him there. The police call us to come pick him up.
He was upset, and came home instead of going back to the lock-in.
I'm still pissed-nothing happened, but still, how hard is it to count heads when you have other folks' kids?
wifehad5 ( Administrator #15162) posted at 10:00 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
You must be pissed. What did the leaders of the lock in say?
FBH - 52 FWW - 53 (BrokenRoad)2 kids 17 & 22The people you do your life with shape the life you live
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 10:05 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
Your poor son. Of course he was upset! 
You have EVERY right to be livid and demand answers.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
64fleet (original poster member #18710) posted at 10:11 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
they say it hasn't happened in the 15 yrs they've been doing it.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 10:14 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
But now it has. What are they doing to make sure it doesn't happen again.
I'm just heartsick thinking about your son when he realized they left without him.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
64fleet (original poster member #18710) posted at 10:27 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
He is sorta odd(quiet, kinda big), not very many friends, his sister the social butterfly spent the nite somewhere 3 different times during spring break, he had been looking forward to this as his chance to get out a little.
I think his feelings were really hurt.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 10:29 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
((((ds)))) Ugh. I'm so VERY sorry.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 10:32 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
Ugh, my heart breaks for you both. "Lame" doesn't come close.
(((64fleet and DS)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
SouthernGal ( member #27315) posted at 10:34 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
they say it hasn't happened in the 15 yrs they've been doing it.
Well, bully for them. But the fact of the matter is that it did happen and it is inexcusable. I would be demanding a hell of a lot more than "It's never happened before." That's a crap answer.
I don't blame you for being pissed.
I'm so sorry for your son. That really sucks.
BS (Me) XWH (him) M nearly 16 yrs
1 DD (teens)
D-day #1 12/09, #2 2/10
Divorced 10/6/10
wifehad5 ( Administrator #15162) posted at 10:37 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
Have they reached out to him, or are they just trying to cover themselves?
FBH - 52 FWW - 53 (BrokenRoad)2 kids 17 & 22The people you do your life with shape the life you live
64fleet (original poster member #18710) posted at 10:39 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
not a word to him, just covering their asses.
Damn I really hate people sometimes.
jrc1963 ( member #26531) posted at 11:50 PM on Monday, March 25th, 2013
I'm not a Christian or a church goer... But had this been my son I probably would've lost my religion yelling at them and that bullshit answer!
Sorry that happened to him and to you!
Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 1:16 AM on Tuesday, March 26th, 2013
They obviously don't understand the meaning of 'lock in'. You don't go OUT. What idiots.
Your poor DS
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 1:24 AM on Tuesday, March 26th, 2013
lordy
I used to work with a youth group, and any leader worth their salt knows that you pay MORE attention to the awkward kids so they feel included, not LESS. 
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
Mama_of_3_Kids ( member #26651) posted at 3:45 AM on Tuesday, March 26th, 2013
The first rule of going on a trip like this (or even when a large number of kids are involved) is to do a head count before getting off of the bus/van, after you're at a location, and before you leave the location to ensure everyone is accounted for.
[This message edited by Mama_of_3_Kids at 9:54 PM, March 25th (Monday)]
Me: BW/33 The kidlets: DS16, DS12, and DD10 The hounds: Three Shih Tzu's The felines: Two short haired kitteh's
metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 3:52 AM on Tuesday, March 26th, 2013
Agree with Mama here. I've worked with kids since I was 20. It is in my blood to do a head count now. I count other peoples kids. I'm not even kidding. We stand at the bus stop and if I only have one or two with me my eyes will not stop scanning.
I do understand that things can happen and be a mistake. What concerns me is how long he must have gone unnoticed to have the police be the ones that called you and that they haven't apologized to him. The boy needs a heartfelt apology
Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 4:13 AM on Tuesday, March 26th, 2013
I have 4 kids and when they were growing up there was always an extra kid or dozen along. I counted heads every few minutes.
They owe him a letter of apology signed by all the kids and all the counselors... and adults in charge.
I cannot imagine how your son must've felt....
Hugs for you mama... I would be on the warpath with my pastor about it.
Good luck,
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Undefinabl3 ( member #36883) posted at 2:07 PM on Tuesday, March 26th, 2013
I dont care if they are covering their asses or not, Your son deserves an apology like, yesterday.
I would keep going up the ladder until you go one. This is horrible, what if something DID happen to your son since they just left him behind.
Unacceptable....Make them responsible for their actions
Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's
k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 3:40 PM on Tuesday, March 26th, 2013
Time to get in touch with your "Papa Bear".
At the least your Pastor needs to apologize directly to your son and the adult chaparones need to be severly talked to.
The bottom line is they didn't think enough of your son to be aware of him.
Wrong on soooo many levels.
k9
BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.
Holly-Isis ( member #13447) posted at 4:00 PM on Tuesday, March 26th, 2013
They need to read the Parable of the Lost Lamb again...
"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*
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