SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

with constant nausea, racing thoughts, increasing heart rate and blood pressure from severe stress of being here?

I will never be able to acquire or hold down a job in this state of mind.

I can't leave until I have a job.

It helped me in the first few months after d-day.

Have you gone to see a doctor? and/or a IC?

I left a message with my endocrinologist.

Don't need IC. I'm not the one who has issues, he is.

IC will only give him something else to use against me.

Xanax was a lifesaver for me and I was on a low dose, but it took the edge off. It sounds like you're having panic attacks. I've also taken Zoloft and, at one time, Paxil. Both are good meds for me. Go and see your doctor and explain the situation.

Lexapro and Xanax for emergencies have allowed me to function at work, as well as to sleep and generally get through the day.

I left a message with my endocrinologist.

Don't need IC. I'm not the one who has issues, he is.

IC will only give him something else to use against me.

Please reconsider this position. #1, ANYONE would have difficulty coping with the tragedy of betrayal. #2, My IC gave me tools to deal with the panic attacks and they worked wonderfully. It helped me come off of the Xanax., and #3, maybe you do have issues and that's why you're with someone who cheats on you (Personally, I have so many FOO issues that I'm a bad picker, seriously, I consistently pick assholes). I'm not saying it to hurt you, and I'm surely not saying that it's your fault you were cheated on, but it doesn't hurt to get another perspective and talk to a professional who can help put things in order in your head. <hugs> Infidelity is brutal and it sucks. It is a trauma. No one should be expected to go through it without some sort of support system.

I'm not sure an endocrinologist is the doctor to see for psychiatric meds.

But yes, I think an antianxiety agent, perhaps in concert with an antidepressant (many of which also address anxiety) would be helpful.

As for IC "giving him something to use against me," he can really only do so with your consent. There is nothing maladaptive or negative about seeking counsel when betrayed. If you're battling anxiety, meds are a short-term solution; new coping tools are a long-term solution. IC can help you gather those tools.

At this point, betrayal is nothing.

He is abusive.

I need to get out.

He is broken.

I can't fix him.

I can try and fix myself and get out while I'm still young enough to have some sort of a life.

I don't need IC to understand this.

I do need to manage my emotions and stress so I can start being pro active instead of stuck in this fear and stress induced inertia.

Xanax was a life saver for me in the first year. I took a low dose and not on a regular schedule just when I really needed to feel normal and not jump out of my skin.

Weaned myself off of it and Ambien.

I still take an occasional Xanax, probably 3 times a month.

Many of the perscription anti anxiety meds are hit and miss. Some can make things better and some can make things worse depending on the person. I had a bad reaction to a prescription med so I take L-Theanine as needed in the day time. It's an amino acid which helps take the edge off without slowing me down. For sleep, I take L-Tryptohan (another amino acid) or Melatonin Plus. Melatonin Plus comes in a big bottle with a low price from Costco. Valium helps as well bit I don't take it often because I don't want to become addicted. I only take it if L-Theanine isn't working.

[This message edited by Ladyogilvy at 9:50 PM, June 13th (Thursday)]

I haven't read all of the advice here, but just be careful. I have tried some meds that made me wake up and want to put a gun to my head.However, I have heard that it can be quite helpful for many people. Your doctor is the one you need to speak to. Unfortunately, it seems like most docs just hand it out like candy without going over the possible side affects.

Cipralex has been wonderful for me. It's helped with everything you mention here and it continues to allow me to focus at work.

I also find that IC is essential whether you're planning to stay or leave. It's keeping me sane.

Good luck and stay strong.

Yes anti anxiety meds can be very helpful. I warn against Xanax many have a reverse reaction with it (particularly add types). It can also be very addictive. Ativan on the other hand seems to not have the issue with reverse reaction am tends to be easier to wean off. It is also a great sleep aid. If you are not sleeping that can contribute to the overall anxiety.

You may also find work to be a great escape. It helped to stop the cycle of overwhelming stress. It helped to keep me same.

I did not take an antidepressant as I didn't feel I was truly depressed but dealing with overwhelming grief. My Dr agreed.

((((and strength)))