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Why do you procrastinate like leaving laundry in the dryer a few days or placing your clothes on the dresser but when someone returns it goes back to normal? Is it that you are busier when the other person is gone or that no one is there to see your mess?

I know it is small but it is like you fix your house to sell to people you don't know but afterwards you realize you could have lived with all of the upgrades.

Trying to work on things in my life including balance and I guess I would rather not for example leave things in the dryer and be the person as if someone was there. I like the second version of me better and it is more peaceful. How do you do it?

Thank you for the insight

Not sure I quite get the question. I leave the laundry in the dryer or in the basket because most days I am busy as hell and don't get to it right away.

Do you mean why am I so much cleaner when I don't live alone? I think my standards for those I care about are higher than my standards for myself.

Huh?

I'm sorry I don't get your question.

I try not to procrastinate... I like to do everything that needs to be done before I sit down to rest.

Like after dinner... I clean everything up, dishes, pots, pans, kitchen... because when I'm done and I sit down then I can enjoy the rest of my evening w/o anything hanging over my head.

I don't procrastinate on anything I can see because I won't relax until it's done. But when the dryer door is shut it's really easy to ignore it

Whenever I clean my house really well my family asks me, "Who's coming over?"

It's either what Ama said or it's that you enjoy the ego kibbles of 'performing' for someone, but from your statement about living with the upgrades, I suspect you just don't quite believe you're worth the extra effort. Now, start adjusting that attitude!

People do things differently and housekeeping quirks don't indicate anything crucial about a person's emotional state or character, unless they never do laundry or they're ready for the "Hoarders" show with clothes stacked to the ceiling.

I've been judged on the laundry issue, because people haven't thought through what our life situation entails with a chronically ill family member. They visit our chronically ill family member during the day, and if the door to my room is ajar (or rude people get nosy and look - the aide says that actually happens A LOT ) visitors will see laundry on bed sometimes.

What they don't know: The chronically ill family member's bed linens must be changed and laundered each morning in hot water - not cold. I am not going to let our ailing family member lie in wet sheets from 7 a.m. until aide arrives at 9.

This leaves us with a hot-water supply problem for showers for two other adults and a teen, and we also have laundry, and there is a dish-washer to run, and a normal- size water heater.

Some days as I'm running out of the house to go to work, I have a load still going in the dryer, or I'm throwing clean clothes on our bed for nosy visitors to see.

Different priorities. Don't sweat 'em. Somebody else may have kids with issues who are tough to get ready for school. Some need more coffee and the news to deal with the day, and procrastinate. Laundry folding is OK to neglect.

Don't read too much into laundry.

[This message edited by Heavy Sigh at 8:09 PM, June 23rd (Sunday)]

Thanks everyone I have no excuses and I guess I just figure I am lazy but I really am not. So maybe it is I care about others more than me. I will continue to work on it. Thank you all so much!

To be honest, it's more that when I am living with someone, i feel like they deserve a clean house. When I am living alone, I feel like I deserve a beer.

Fireproof, I in fact tend to do the opposite, if spouse is gone, our bedroom and bath get totally cleaned up, and look lovely for me to enjoy. When the kids are gone same happens with all their stuff being all over the place.

My H tends to not put anything away ever. It results in little piles of stuff everywhere, he has a spot on the end of the kitchen counter, his dresser, his workbench in the garage, the hall bench in the mud room.....on and on. I used to run around picking it all up trying to be the perfect housewife, and housekeeper, I gave up. I also realized the only people who really give a crap about how my house looks are my mother, and my H's Dad. Life is too damn short to worry about cleaining, and pickin up all the time. I enjoy my life, and if I have time I clean, make things nice. Otherwise Oh well.

Life is too damn short to worry about cleaning, and pickin up all the time. I enjoy my life, and if I have time I clean, make things nice. Otherwise Oh well.

Love this. Must embrace...