SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi!

So I made an appointment for a consultation with a lawyer on Friday.

So any advice on what I should tell him?

It's not free, ($300) so I want to make the best of it! But I heard he's the best, and that's what I want and need if I do D.

(My story: 3 kids, no work, no money of my own, no childcare in town, everything in WH name, no friends/ family in town, found out husband has been cheating on dating sites.)

Make notes (before you go)

Take notes (while you're there)

If you have the time and wherewithal?

Visit every other one you can. - they will not be able to represent your H.

Oh, and questions to ask a lawyer (as a search term) got

About 40,100,000 results ...

Thanks!

Do you mean a google search, or on this site?

I do have some questions, but wasn't sure what to tell the lawyer about the infidelity...

Jesss,

You should probably post your question in the Divorce/Separation forum. That group will have advice for you.

Off the top of my head:

Take all financial documents you have access to: paystubs, tax records, retirement fund statements, bank statements, etc.

Definitely let the atty know about the affair. In some states it matters.

Hi Jesss,

Boy, our situations sound so similar. No job, no money of my own, husband had an affair and chose to continue it. Fortunately, we did not have any children.

First off, see about getting temporary support so that you have money now to pay bills and get by. Definitely tell the attorney about the affair. Listen to what they have to say - take notes. If they have any advice on the steps you need to take now.

They may advise you to file for divorce first. That's the route I took. I felt like the rug got pulled out from under me (had no idea the affair was going on) and the thought of answering the door to be served divorce paper by him was unacceptable to me. I had to take some action on my own behalf.

Each person finds the answer that works for them.

Post here often and get the support that you need. You are not alone.

((hugs))

In general terms, check out this link below. It may help. Good luck.

http://www.lfjfs.com/images/article.pdf

Make sure you have information your financial situation, all savings, investments, things you/he own, retirement funds etc.

That threw me when I had my consultation, and was woefully unprepared.

She did however break down how it would all split out. My major concern was the marital home, and custody, and CS. So she was very clear on what would typically happen, and how it would vary in our situation, since H was out of work. ( he had been let go due to the housing market crashing, and no new construction, he was at a 6 figure a year job, selling fine stone for counters, floors, etc).

I was happy I went, because I was toying with the idea of filing to wake him up, but then I found out I would be on the hook for CS because he wasn't working. He was so crazy during that time, I could picture him not going back to work, just so he wouldn't have to pay me CS.

Anyway make alist of what you want to know. How and what things are there to help you since you are SAHM, and have no income.

Take a friend/family member if you can. My sister was my extra set of ears, and it was nice to have the support.