This Topic is Archived
ddame23 (original poster member #40407) posted at 7:24 PM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
My WH is a musician and I took my son to see WH play at a fundraiser this weekend. I met the partner of one of WH's bandmates for the first time at the event. I introduced myself to him saying, "Hi, I'm ___, WH's better half. Nice to meet you." He shakes my hand and replies, "You're not the girl he brought last time." I felt my gut drop. I shattered. I wanted to go home then and there but I was stuck as we came in one car. I had to spend the next 4 hours pretending like I hadn't been stabbed in the heart, and the rest of the weekend pretending like I was ok when I just wanted to die. 
D-Day April 18 2013
He has lost all credibility, my respect, my love.
1/18/16 filing for divorce.
Divorce final 4/8/16.
brokendancer7 ( member #39911) posted at 7:46 PM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
I'm so sorry. That awful adrenaline/stomach wrenching/heart stopping moment is something nobody should have to feel.
Was this a new shock? Did you ask your H about it?
yousaid4ever ( member #32626) posted at 7:46 PM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
((((ddame23))))) 
I'm so sorry, my heart is hurting for you. That is the most awful feeling. I hate hate it!!!
I took your words and I believed
In everything you said to me
Cause you said forever
And ever, who knew?......Pink
BS(me) 59...STBXSAWH 59
Married 40 yrs/4 grown children, 5 grandchildren
DD's-1st on 10/75, now too many too count.
catlover50 ( member #37154) posted at 8:03 PM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
Well that was a damned insensitive thing to say! Ouch.
I'm so sorry.
I was uncomfortable for awhile going to my H's work place since the LTA started there and everyone knew (I assume). I just decided finally that they all like me and if they think anything it's that he was crazy to do what he did.
My heart goes out to you.
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
Tred ( member #34086) posted at 8:04 PM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
I'm with brokendancer - did you discuss this with your H?
Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)
Tearsoflove ( member #8271) posted at 8:06 PM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
My husband had a friend who made jokes like that all the time. I hope that's what this guy was doing. It's not funny but some people are just really insensitive.
"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson
Raven96 ( member #40298) posted at 8:15 PM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
I'm hoping Tears is right, especially since you SAID you were WH's better half. Does this bandmate know what WH did? He might have just been thinking he was being funny (albeit stupid) because he DOESN'T know. Did you talk to your WH about it?
Sending hugs your way and really hoping it was just a stupid comment/joke.
Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?
iwillNOT ( member #40605) posted at 8:19 PM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
I'm so sorry! How horrible!
(((ddame23)))
Breathe, hug your son, do something loving for yourself...
Can you ask/tell your husband about this? At the very least he should know how this has hurt you.
Me: BS, 46
Him: WH, 47
Together 24 years
4 amazing kids
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Choosing myself daily and R almost every
Josephine01 ( member #38511) posted at 8:25 PM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
What did Mr.ddame23 have to say about this? Are you going to do some snooping before you tell him? Do you think that tears might be right?
Me, 47 BS
H, 65 WH
2 boys 23 and 18 years old
Married 24 years
SoOver96 ( member #40169) posted at 10:17 PM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
What did WS say when you confronted him
ddame23 (original poster member #40407) posted at 9:14 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Thanks for all the kind words. I did talk to WH and we think the guy was just making a bad joke, but it didn't hurt any less.
D-Day April 18 2013
He has lost all credibility, my respect, my love.
1/18/16 filing for divorce.
Divorce final 4/8/16.
TrulySad ( member #39652) posted at 4:20 PM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
"You're not the girl he brought last time."
What if he was trying to tell you something he thought you would want to know? Some people aren't the best at delivering bad news. I wouldn't be quick to brush this off.
And I'm so sorry. I know how it feels to have someone drop a bombshell on you, and a child is there, so all you can do is attempt to fake it, till you can crawl into the nearest available hole.
Me : no longer a BW or BGF. Starting over!
Them : in the past, where they can stay.
This Topic is Archived
