SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

She is so darned pretty.

Feeling like crap. Just had to tell someone.

I'm sorry, but never judge a book by it's cover. Beauty is only skin deep, but think of what you know she's like on the inside.

I guess I'm lucky in that aspect. H friend said OW looks like the south end of a donkey headed north

Mine looks slightly like me before I lost 50 pounds. :( I hate this. Just hate it.

I thought the same thing the first time I visited OW's FB page. Then I really looked at them again after my friends were adamant she was "rode hard and put away wet". She was. Very hard lines, wrinkles, too much makeup and 90's hair styles.

I didn't know whether to feel good or bad about it.

(((brokensmile322)))

I'm sorry you are struggling. For quite a while I compared myself to the OW. One day, what she looked like won't matter. Please remember that you are a beautiful person with a wonderful heart.

Well, I do not know which is worse....prettier or, since this is the R forum, facially challenged. Either way, they all look alike on the inside.

I am sorry you just now saw her. If available, I think we all should get to see who we are dealing with. Her face should not be a secret to you. I do not know how you have waited this long. Think of this another hurdle you have cleared and will eventually put behind you on your way to healing.

The OW in my situation is a former Miss Hawaiian Tropic, and has underwear and bathing suit modeling pictures online. I found a message from wBF sending his brother the link for her modeling pictures. So I torture myself probably once a week looking at them, and comparing myself to her.

Just keep telling yourself that you are awesome. Eventually, one day, I hope I believe that about myself again.

[This message edited by Lonelygirl10 at 8:39 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]

Well, I was prompted to look because the reality is that I will be spending 7 days with her in about 6 months. I did know what she looked like,kinda, but her facebook was private for quite awhile, I guess.

I still do not know if I can do it. And looking at her...well it seems I will not be able to do it.

How do you do that, even if you avoid as best you can and not still feel like crap?

Why are you spending 7 days with her?

Business trip... a disaster really. Something my WH has worked his whole career to be able to do. Just don't think I can do it, but that is a whole other post.

What was getting me today is that she is really pretty.

The only thing I have to hold on to is that she is not married yet and seems to not be able to keep a man. Something must be wrong with her, right?

There's something wrong with everyone. No one is perfect in this world.

And physical looks aren't everything. I don't know your story, but your husband is with you, not her. So there's some reason out there why he chose you, why you are better than her to him. When you're feeling insecure, cling to that thought. And maybe ask him why he chose you, if you haven't already. Let him tell you what's wrong with her and why he chose you in the end.

( here's hoping I don't get flagged for my response)

Here is a visual that may help you:

Think of a big, beautiful present. One with the most gorgeous wrapping you can possibly imagine.

Now, while thinking of this beautiful box....open it up to discover that inside is a heaping, steaming, smelly, helping of cow poop!!

Just remember, the packaging is NOT what matters! It's what's inside the box that TRULY counts!!

Sorry, but I am not beautiful, but I was somewhat attractive when I was younger. Occasionally I still take a nice picture. Do you seriously think she (or anyone) posts any but the bests pictures on FB?

And this post from earlier in the week really resonated with me. I saved it but I have forgotten who wrote it. I am sorry about that, as it is a work of art.

A single woman has many other single women to compete with for an attractive and successful single man.

It's easier to compete with an unknowing betrayed spouse.

My soon to be ex got involved with a single colleague from work. She's average, nothing special and married men don't have a large pool of quality women to choose from. A quality woman won't go near a married man because she's got better options than that.

Desperate woman and married man are a match made in heaven.

She isn't worth your effort.

Am I understanding this correctly a business trip with you the OW and your BS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME Even if your in reconciliation there would be no way in hell I would allow my WS to go on business trips WITH OW even with you in tow that could be a major disaster. She's not pretty! If she knows about you and his relationship then she is just a piece of ugly crap with fake beauty on the outside. Don't you think she spent plenty of time tweaking those FB photos KNOWING that you would be checking her out

Hoes aren't pretty they just think they are smart trying to fool the spouses.

Sorry to be the first one to hit ya with the 2x4 but I have the worse UGLY hoe OW that loves to post pretty pics of herself AND tell me that if I would have taken care of my hubby when he was with me he wouldn't be with her now......What kind of "pretty" person can have an affair with a committed spouse knowing everything about them???

AN UGLY WORTHLESS ONE!!!!!!!

Good luck on your trip

[This message edited by hailstormer at 9:52 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]

It hurts your ego, self esteem

I saw a picture of the OM, he was younger, thinner etc

How are we going to compete with young?!

I've detached myself from my WGF and have not even felt the urge to have sex with her. I feel like I'm guilting her into making ground beef when she wanted steak.

Manhood and self esteem...out the window.

[This message edited by Landoes at 9:44 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]

(((brokensmile322)))

I so understand. OW in our situation is very very pretty also, and a fitness instructor , & 20 yrs younger than WH & I.

I have always been average weight ( not thin), used to jog a little, walk now because I am in my late 50s, people tell me that I look young for my age, everything is relative.

But , there is no way that my body can compare to someone who is 20 yrs younger who has never had children when I have been pregnant so many times (all by WH) & had 4 very large babies.

I have been torturing myself about this since Dday.

But, there is nothing I can do about it. I can exercise more & become more muscular, but childbirth & menopause change a woman's body.

As you can tell, this is still a big issue for me. I compare myself to OW all the time.

I know, inside she is garbage, whereas I am a loving mom & professional ( I have a much higher degree of education/profession than OW)

& still I feel so bad about myself.

So, just letting you know that I understand.

Scaredycat--I LOVE that quote you posted. I keep thinking about how pretty the OW is. But you're completely right. If she was all that great, then she could have had anyone that she set her eyes on. But she couldn't get a single man because she's not all that great. She had to latch on to my wBF while we were having issues. I love, love, love that quote.

By the way they call them hoe-workers.

Just sayin.....

The OW in my case could be my twin other than the fact that she smokes and is a brunette and I am a redhead. Showed my BFF the picture and she was horrified, we could literally be twins separated at birth. The only thing I have to hang on to is the response to my post on the issue that said that I have class, dignity and self respect, where as she does not. How can you and spend time with a married man trying to make him yours. She is just a shallow version of me.

Since this is now a vent thread, we are forced to move it to General.