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2married2quit (original poster member #36555) posted at 10:14 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
I have to admit, I do keep up with them, but should I just block them or keep up? It's not obsessive, but it certainly isn't a positive thing. FWW blocked them both. She said I should too.
He friended all her friends which pisses me off, but what can I do.
BS - Me 47 WS - Her 45 ( she's a childhood sexual abuse survivor)
DDAY -#1- June 2012/ #2 -June 2015 / #3-August 2015
Married 25yrs. 2kids
She had 2 affairs with two different men.
Status: divorced.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 10:19 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
IGaveItMyAll ( member #38622) posted at 10:21 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
Block them both. When you block them they can't see any of your feeds or phtots either. That way to OM can't keep up with your life/wife behind the scenes.
ME-BS 34
FWW-28
M 6 Yrs
DDAY- 8/20/12
R
OnAnIsland ( member #34319) posted at 10:22 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
Block them both. It is a healthy step for you and protects your family from people who are not a part of it.
D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013
Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful sons
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou
nekokamisama ( new member #38695) posted at 10:44 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
Definitely block them both. You don't need the extra drama.
libertyrocks ( member #38924) posted at 10:46 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
For no drama, period. Delete both your accounts. I did. It was the best thing I ever did. No more obsessing or temptation of obsessing about my hurt. But, that's just me. See no evil, hear no evil.
Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.
LadyLove ( member #40664) posted at 12:13 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
My WH deactivated his account on his own but I still have mine. OW also friended his friends & family. OW can't see my friends list & any mutual friends we may have had were deleted on my end on DD. I have not blocked the ow, if she wants to creep on my page whatevs. She's only hurting herself, seeing him with me & that he's happy (lucky) to be where he is. Although I am selective about what's public and what's not. Living well is the best revenge imo.
[This message edited by LadyLove at 10:05 PM, October 21st (Monday)]
BW - 50 (me)
WH - 51 Ladyslove
DDay Fall 2012
Don't know if I can live with it.
Always trust your gut. It knows what your head hasn't yet figured out. - Unknown
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 12:17 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
My advice, and my opinion would be to block them both, and pretend like they no longer exist. The goal here is indifference towards them, and irrelevance to your daily lives.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 12:22 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
NC, NC, NC. That's best for you.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
2married2quit (original poster member #36555) posted at 12:41 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
k...blocked them both. It's hard ya know cause it's almost like you're letting them go without that one last display of disapproval about what happened.
BS - Me 47 WS - Her 45 ( she's a childhood sexual abuse survivor)
DDAY -#1- June 2012/ #2 -June 2015 / #3-August 2015
Married 25yrs. 2kids
She had 2 affairs with two different men.
Status: divorced.
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 1:00 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
they are not worth your time. your focus needs to be on you and your family.
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 3:49 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
It's hard ya know cause it's almost like you're letting them go without that one last display of disapproval about what happened.
Yep. I know. It's worth it in the long term, though. I really thing you did the right thing.
Here's the way I looked at it: looking at pictures of them on my computer in my house was in a way letting part of them into my house. Now they are no longer welcome.
Good job, 2married. I am hoping this brings you some additional peace, like it did to me.
bionicgal ( member #39803) posted at 3:53 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
I have 50+ mutual friends with the OW on facebook. She'll still see stuff I post on their walls, correct? If I block, can I see her public stuff?
me - BS (45) - DDay - June 2013
A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." -- C.S. Lewis.
kickboxer ( member #39858) posted at 6:07 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
WH had an account with 150-ish friends...I told him he had to close every possible door -- could not remain FB friends with anyone that could serve as a link to anyone he's every crossed a boundary with at anytime, ever.
He deleted that account completely and opened a new one.
He now has about 40 friends.
That's a lot of freaking doors.
BW - 42 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 15 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.
2married2quit (original poster member #36555) posted at 5:27 PM on Monday, October 21st, 2013
bionicgal - FB changes their settings ALL the times. So blocking doesn't guarantee anything anymore. However, if a friend of you and your spouse posts of photo of you two, everyone can see, including OW. This royally SUCKS and it has been the issue we have been having.
BS - Me 47 WS - Her 45 ( she's a childhood sexual abuse survivor)
DDAY -#1- June 2012/ #2 -June 2015 / #3-August 2015
Married 25yrs. 2kids
She had 2 affairs with two different men.
Status: divorced.
AFrayedKnot ( member #36622) posted at 5:35 PM on Monday, October 21st, 2013
We both unfriended every mutual friend of the OM.
Unfortunate casualties of this stupid shit. So long....
BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 9:54 PM on Monday, October 21st, 2013
LadyLove,
Please note the Reconciliation Forum guidelines:
A wonderful place to share your struggles, success stories and triggers while trying to reconcile.It's a long road, but you can do it! There is to be no venting about or name calling the OP in this forum.
Thank you.
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
Silentthoughts ( member #40289) posted at 10:06 PM on Monday, October 21st, 2013
I deactivated my FB right after I got caught. Bh made me and I did. Cant say I was overly happy at the time because FB had nothing to do with what I did, but I only missed it for a few months and now could care less. Bh decided to deactivate his account a few months ago. Getting rid of FB has been a good thing for our marriage.
WW - early 50s (me)
BH - late 40s
3 grown children
Married 25 years
Online cyber sex dec 2010. I got caught late dec 2010. Lying and TT until full disclosure jan 2011.
In R we both are committed to staying in this M.
LadyLove ( member #40664) posted at 4:04 AM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013
authenticnow - sorry I slipped 
BW - 50 (me)
WH - 51 Ladyslove
DDay Fall 2012
Don't know if I can live with it.
Always trust your gut. It knows what your head hasn't yet figured out. - Unknown
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 10:47 AM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013
No worries 
.
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
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