SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I was just talking with a couple of SI members about this the other night, about how we will react if we find out XWH and OW are getting married.

Well, XWH and OW have set a date for this year, 2 days after Christmas. This will be his 3rd marriage, her first. They suddenly set a date for 2 months from now.

My reaction? An adrenaline rush, and I got the shakes. Why? Why would I feel this way about this piece of shit?

My logical brain thinks go ahead. Fall right back into that life that you found so boring. Go ahead, OW, because getting divorced is a hell of a lot more aggravating than just breaking up. Because you're going to be different, you're going to be the one to break him of his serial cheating habit.

How different this wedding will be. For our wedding, people were happy for us. He was groomzilla, and wanted the biggest and best wedding ever. He was so excited, and so was everyone else. For this shit show with the OW, people are rolling their eyes, asking why, and either not going, or going because they "have to".

(((sparkysable)))

Why? Because YOU loved sincerely. Because YOU are good. How could it not affect you. This crap hurts the heart even when the brain knows it shouldn't.

Good luck.

Blech!

Logical brain and emotional brain don't always mesh. Your logical brain knows the truth, but emotionally, you still question whether this really is love (puke) and whether she is going to be better and whether he will be better with her.

Trust that she is not and he will not. These leopards don't change their spots, my friend. Not at all. Its a part of them as much as your blue eyes or my dark hair.

So, although I know it will hurt me too if this happens with ex and the slunt and I will probably have the same reaction, don't let this stall your healing. I see it as a big fat nail in the coffin and another indicator that they are nothing but broken piles of crap who need to legitimize their gross union. Doesn't mean it will last or, even if it lasts, that it will be happy. He will likely blindside her just like he did you. Pity her because you know what's coming.

If I couldn't relate to your adrenaline rush so completely, I'd laugh because they are IDIOTS for tying the knot!

I get it, though. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach when I found out that XWH was actually going to propose to the OW. I thought he had more sensitivity for our kids than that. Hell, I thought he simply had more brains than that! But I was wrong, and I have that lesson reinforced for me every so often.

The wedding was the same thing for me-- we had a small wedding, but our close loved ones were there. XWH's family then threw us a big, lovely reception for their friends and family back where XWH is from. This wedding? No one attended, it was in the middle of nowhere, the kids were forced to attend... you know the deal.

They're so pathetic, and they are doomed to repeat their mistakes. I can't wait until you hear about how the OW is miserable, being cheated on by your XWH, etc. They'll pretend for a while and be sparkly, but it's coming...

And a big FTG to him, while I'm thinking about it.

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 2:34 PM, October 29th (Tuesday)]

As usual with this kind of thing, the caveat is that no, I wouldn't really do this, but it can be fun to think about....

Wrapping up a huge box as a wedding present, addressed to her. The only thing in it: a business card for your D lawyer. On the back, "#3 - I think you're going to need this."

As much as it hurts, it is helpful in that it's one more thing pushing XH away & out of your life forever.

Plus, you, unlike the happy couple, know how this shit show is going to end.

I would have a physical reaction to that news as well. ((((HUGS)))

He will likely blindside her just like he did you. Pity her because you know what's coming.

He will. He's going to wreck her world.

I also got that news. I felt numb. they broke up before it happened.

2 month engagement sounds like something is up-- wonder if she thinks that making it legal will change him.

My xh never got engaged but they both filed for divorce within a week of each other and it was rumored that they were planning to get married. He had moved into her house. They were playing Brady Bunch with hers and my kids. It was disgusting. And when I found all of this out I felt physically ill.

Ironically, she broke up with him 3 months later. It doesn't matter though because it was only a matter of time before one of them cheated on the other. The sparkly rainbows don't last forever and after they fade it is just regular, ol life. "I just emptied the dishwasher last week! Why can't you ever take out the garbage?"

They are too immature to deal with life. Your ex will cheat again. No doubt. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.

Wha...???

Sparky, is this the same twit from back when you and I were in contact?

I love this quote I read on here:

"When you know him as well as I do, you'll love him as much as I do."

This is inevitable for me too and I will have a reaction.

I'll laugh my arse off too but I'll also be sad. Sad that he is modelling this fucked up love addiction behaviour for my girls.

I expect him to be engaged/married at least half a dozen times in his life.

If you're not using to getting new info about him the shock could also be just the shock of new info. Y'know - NC = No New Hurts and all that.

Ironically the fact that there were so many OW kind of makes this scenario a little easier for me. There is no 'main' OWhore to focus on and IMO none of them really have that big sting that I imagine a lone OWhore would have. They came from all walks of whoredom. Fat/skinny, young/old, kids/no kids, educated/dumb as batshit. He is an equal opportunity whore - I'll give him that.

((sparkysable))

Sparky, is this the same twit from back when you and I were in contact?

No Beyond...this is OW#2 after 6 years of R.

Were you the one that made that call for me to the BS of the guy I worked with?

Huh, this is funny. My serial cheating xWH is marrying OW#umpteen right around Christmas. It'll be his FOURTH marriage. They've registered for a 12 place china setting! OMG, who does that anymore??? When you're on your 4th marriage and 40 years old???? Dumbass OW that's who.

I don't predict a long and happy and faithful marriage for them. Looks like the holidays really are the time for delusion

I'd been away from my serial philanderer X for many years when I heard that his newest bimbo was sporting a huge diamond ring and set her FB page to "engaged". Even though he is what he is and will never change, yep, I felt the shakes! He didn't marry me. Ha, that was because I absolutely refused to get married again. Didn't matter. Still got a taste of the old "maybe I wasn't good enough" feeling.

Well, that was five years ago. They still aren't married. And, listen to this: I was told by someone in the know that his live-in decided it was high time they got married, so she kept pasting pictures of engagement rings around the house, even got her kids to keep asking X when he was going to marry their mother. When that didn't work, she took a picture to HIS jeweller, said, "I want that ring and send the bill to" X. He was too embarrassed to admit to his jeweller that it wasn't his idea. So she has a $20,000 diamond ring, but no piece of paper.

Now, ordinarily, I wouldn't even bat an eye at a story like this, but I think it's a terrific illustration of the kind of trouble he gets himself into.

So laugh yourself silly over your XH's latest foray into married bliss, Sparky. It ain't real. Or it is, but only until he falls for the next bimbo. Karma's a bitch.

Sparky,

No - I made the call to OW's (I guess OW1)workplace.

The fact that we're confused over which OW we're talking about? I'd say that's a pretty good indicator that you made the right choice in unloading him.

Let the new wife count the OW...

{{{Sparky}}}

Sparky,

No - I made the call to OW's (I guess OW1)workplace.

Ah yes, I remember now. Well, OW#1 moved to Chicago and is now married with a baby. I do give her credit, because she dropped him when she found out about me. You know what's odd though? Right after d-day with OW#2, he became FB friends with OW#1.

The fact that we're confused over which OW we're talking about? I'd say that's a pretty good indicator that you made the right choice in unloading him.

No kidding! My biggest regret was staying with him after OW#1. Had I left 6 years ago before OW#2, I would have been so much better off. No 2nd chances.